Author | Movie Madam (Toutiao signed author)
"Loneliness is a person's carnival; carnival is the loneliness of a group of people."
"I eat, travel, and walk around alone; I also read and read alone. Write a letter and talk to yourself. "
These are the lyrics of the song "Leaves", performed by Asang.
’s lonely words, paired with the singer’s slightly hoarse voice, have healed many people in the middle of the night.
But among the people who have been cured by her, how many of them understand her loneliness and loneliness?
01 She is just a lonely girl
In more than ten days, Ah Sang will have left us for 11 years.
People who have listened to her songs may notice that "lonely", "lonely" and "solitude" are high-frequency words that appear in her voice.
These words are also a reflection of her own state of mind.
She once said: "I am a person who is extremely afraid of loneliness and very insecure."
Because when she was growing up, almost no one could give her a sense of security.
In 1975, Asang was born in an ordinary family in Taiwan.
At that time, her name was Huang Yanlin .
The great writer Leo Tolstoy once said: "Happy families are all similar; unhappy families are each unhappy in their own way."
Asan's family is one of the unfortunate ones.
The family was poor, parents' quarrels, domestic violence, unpaid debts...
Under the pressure, the family finally fell apart.
When Asang was in the sixth grade of elementary school, his parents divorced.
In order to avoid debts, they fostered her in her aunt's house.
After all, he was not the closest person to him. Ah Sang, who was already sensible at the time, felt like he was living under someone else's roof.
The unfortunate experience brought her incurable heartache. Even after becoming an adult and becoming famous, she was still afraid of causing trouble to others and becoming a trouble for others.
This is why she would say: "Having no personality is my personality."
Her sensitivity, her helplessness, and her worries make her dare not have a personality, let alone express herself.
In order to reduce the burden on her aunt's family, she worked hard to support the family at a young age: making chocolate wrappers, unpacking plastic flowers, and assembling electronic parts...
In those difficult days, singing was her only... It is also a favorite pastime.
Because he liked acting, Asang chose to study in Nanqiang Industrial and Commercial Film and Television Department in high school. Huo Jianhua and Chen Derong also graduated from this school.
At that time, Ah Sang was already considering entering the entertainment industry.
But for a person who is not amazing in appearance and is financially trapped, this road is too difficult to walk.
02 Going through many vicissitudes of life for the dream
"Singing on stage is one thing that I will never give up in my life. For this dream, I have spent a lot of thought and effort."
This is what Ah Sang said on his blog after he became famous. words written in.
Her road to fame can be described as "suffering" .
In 1995, Asang graduated. Not only for her dream, but also to solve the problem of survival, she was admitted to the art team.
Taiwan's art troupe is similar to mainland art troupes, and many artists have come out of it, such as Fei Yuqing who loves to tell dirty jokes.
At the age of 20, it is the time to pursue her dreams, but after five years in the art team, she still cannot touch the wings of her dreams.
In 2000, in order to give himself more opportunities, Asang left the art team and formed a band with his friends to sing in bars.
This courage to pursue her dream also allowed her to meet her boss - the famous music producer Wang Yiping
Many people may not be familiar with this name, but most of the stars who have worked with him are familiar with it.
such as Lin Yilian , Yu Chengqing , Aaron Kwok , Gao Shengmei , Zhou Huajian , Huang Pinyuan ...
Although there is a big boss leading the way, I wonder if God secretly gave her a prank kiss. After giving her the first glimmer of hope,
gave her a series of blows.
For the first time, Wang Yiping created 6 songs for her.
Her voice was affirmed by several record companies, one of which showed obvious intention to sign a contract and asked Wang Yiping to stop negotiating with other companies.
As a result, Wang Yiping turned down interview invitations from several companies, one of which was the company to which Li Zongsheng belonged.
But in the end, the answer Asang got was: wants songs but not people.
Later Lin Yilian sang "Go Far Away" which was Asang's work at that time.
The second time, she finally signed a contract with a record company, but because the record market was extremely depressed that year, she was terminated a year later without even releasing a record.
Although she failed again and again, Wang Yiping, who cherished her talents, did not give up on her.
For the third time, Wang Yiping planned to help her record 10 songs and go directly to the publisher after completion.
However, when 9 songs had been recorded, a typhoon wiped out all the efforts.
Floods caused by heavy rain flooded the recording studio located in the basement.
That day, they recorded all night until five or six in the morning, and Asang fell asleep on the sofa.
Wang Yiping went out to take a look. It was very windy and rainy outside, and later he fell asleep in front of the computer.
Perhaps because they were too sleepy, the two of them didn't notice when the rainwater flooded into the basement.
They didn't wake up until the landlord upstairs ran down, knocked on the door and shouted, "It's flooded, run for your life."
However, it was too late.
All the recording equipment was flooded, and the master tapes and demos that had been recorded were also destroyed.
For this reason, Wang Yiping lost more than 1 million yuan and almost went bankrupt.
Faced with the endgame, Ah Sang was so sad and desperate that she almost gave up. felt that she had no destiny to be a singer at all.
Wang Yiping asked her: "Then do you still want to do it again?"
Perhaps because she felt ashamed of Wang Yiping, she replied: "I want to, but I dare not say it..."
After that, Wang Yiping borrowed recording studios everywhere , and continued to help her record songs.
At the same time, in order to survive, she worked as an operator in a law firm, as a waiter in a friend's store, and as a customer service person in a department store, struggling to wait for the day when her dream would blossom.
In 2003, the idol drama "Rose Love" was a hit, and Asang sang the ending song "Leaves".
's slightly hoarse voice and tearful singing quickly gained her attention.
also won her the opportunity to sign with Huayan Records, and she became a member of the popular group SHE at the time.
Because her voice has a bit of vicissitudes and her career has been full of vicissitudes, the company named her: Asang.
In November 2003, she finally released her first album. The album name of
is "Get a Little Hurt" .
This is her summary of her past: In the journey of life, she has been a little injured.
In an understatement, there is unknown waiting and suffering.
At this time, she was already 28 years old and considered an advanced artist.
At the album launch conference, Asang personally mixed a cocktail with bitter melon juice, called "After all the suffering, the joy comes".
On December 27, 2006, Asang wrote in his blog:
"The moment my dream comes true, I feel so satisfied that I can't describe it in words. I also feel that all the hard work and stumbles are worth it."
But who would have thought that the sweetness after suffering is so short-lived, followed by even more bitter days.
03 is known as the "healing singer", but no one can heal her injuries
"Get A Little Hurt" is positioned by the company as "a sad record" , which includes "Leaves" and "Tender Mercy".
's light melody coupled with Asang's magnetic and hoarse voice unhurriedly stirs the listener's sadness.
She has also become the "healing singer" in the hearts of fans.
After his debut, Ah Sang not only gained many fans, but also received recognition from industry insiders.
Yu Chengqing sang "Leaves" in the new album. He said:
Everyone thinks that girls will be lonely, but boys also need to vent... Although it may just be to go out and get drunk or drive home calmly, in fact, it is already heartbroken. .
In 2004, Asang was nominated for "Best Newcomer" at the 15th Golden Melody Awards.
It’s just that the final winner was , JJ Lin , who debuted in the same year.
In 2005, she released her second album "Loneliness Is Singing", which included the song "Loneliness Is Singing" and "Always Quiet" written by Fang Wenshan.
It is said that "Always Quiet" was originally written by Fang Wenshan to a girl who liked him, but he already had a girlfriend at the time, so the girl stayed with her quietly.
Later, he gave this song to Lin Yueru in "The Legend of Sword and Fairy".
The love I give you has always been quiet,
comes in exchange for your occasional care.
It is obviously a movie about three people,
but I can never have a name.
I don’t know how many people were moved by Lin Yueru’s love for Li Xiaoyao in Asang’s singing that year.
When Ah Sang debuted, it was the era when Taiwanese pop music was booming. Jay Chou, JJ Lin, Angela Chang, Jolin Tsai, Stefanie Sun, Liang Jingru...
The names constitute the memory of a generation.
Although Asang does not have a beautiful appearance or a hot figure, she is like a tree growing out of the cliff. With her tenacious vitality, she has her own place in the music world where all the beauties are competing for beauty.
But just when fans were looking forward to the release of Ah Sang's third album, she had a physical problem.
In 2007, she was diagnosed with lymphoma, which later deteriorated into breast cancer.
Because of her illness, she could only stop recording.
Although Asang sings about loneliness, she is also a strong and optimistic person.
She once said: "Listen to my songs when you are lonely, and you will find that you are not alone. I hope everyone can live a strong and beautiful life."
She also chose to face her own life with strength. , she always believed she would recover.
Even before her death, the spread of cancer cells caused her unbearable pain, she still reminded her family: "Don't add more morphine, I'm afraid I will become addicted after the disease is cured."
During her illness, she still insisted on working, and she never Show concern about your condition in front of others.
Before returning to Taiwan to recuperate in September 2008, she stayed with her fans.
Because of her strength and silence, many friends did not know about her illness until her death.
On April 6, 2009, she passed away forever, only 34 years old.
has been 11 years since then.
In the past 11 years, people still continue to express their thoughts in the comment area of her songs.
Regarding love and loneliness, she is the most suitable listener.
Some people say that before met Asan, loneliness was loneliness. After meeting Asan, loneliness was Asan.
Now that Asan has gone to heaven, will there still be loneliness singing there?
04 Growing old with your lover has become an eternal luxury.
Looking back on Asang's life, Wang Yiping sighed: "Her voice is very vicissitudes, but her life path is even more vicissitudes."
It may be because her family is unfortunate, so she longs for ordinary tranquility. Happiness.
, however, never did.
She has had several relationships. The first relationship lasted for a year before she discovered that her boyfriend was cheating on her.
Although the man later chose her, she did not look back.
There is a song called "See Through" in her first album, which records the process of breaking up with her boyfriend due to the intervention of a third party.
Holding your hand, how to look back
Faced with the doubts about loving you, how can I see through it
Fate is enough, don’t love too much
When you are in a dilemma, should you break up
Although there is hesitation, although there is reluctance, but She left anyway.
's next three relationships also ended in failure.
The road of love has been bumpy to this point, which is pitiful and lamentable.
It wasn't until 2008 when she was on vacation in the United States that she finally met the love of her life.
She was already ill at the time, and because she didn't want to be a burden to the other party, she once wanted to leave.
The boy who loved her deeply waited patiently downstairs for a week before she changed his mind.
went through all the ups and downs and met true love. The two even had plans to get married, but God did not give her enough time.
For her, this should be the most regrettable thing in her life.
Ah Sang once left a posthumous song "The Most Beautiful Look of Love" that will not be released in the future.
There are a few lyrics in it:
" From the day I was sensible, I fantasized about the emergence of beautiful love ... Until love really started, I was like a child wearing high heels, stumbling... Even if it is bitter Never stop, I want to remember the beauty of love...”
11 years have passed, and I wish her happiness and peace in heaven, and no longer be lonely.
(pictures originate from the Internet and have been deleted due to copyright infringement)
About the author: Movie Madam, independent film critic, signed author of Toutiao. I hope to meet you and be beautiful in the world of movies.
