I wonder if any of you have children from rural areas? I was that child. Because of my good academic performance, I went to work smoothly.
But because I have been away from my hometown and my parents since I was a teenager, my relationship with my family is not very deep.
Even after getting married, he did not get any help from his family.
When my wife was pregnant, my sister-in-law rushed to have a second child. The purpose is to prevent the mother-in-law from helping the younger son take care of the child.
When his father got sick, he defaulted to letting his younger son, who had a better family, bear the medical expenses.
[A handful of bitter tears]
My name is Wan Jiantao (pseudonym), and I am 34 years old. When it comes to my family's story, sometimes it can really be described as a handful of bitter tears.
I have 2 children at home, my brother is 8 years older than me. Since childhood, my brother has been a symbol of physical strength. With him around, I was never afraid of being bullied by other children in the village.
And I'm notoriously skinny. In my mother's words, if I didn't have good academic performance, I wouldn't be able to get a wife in the countryside.
Because of my good academic performance, I have been living in the school since I was in junior high school. My parents never paid much attention to my study.
The children they like are children like their elder brothers. My brother’s academic performance is very poor, but he has a good relationship with his parents.
In the eyes of parents, children with good grades cannot stay at home. What they like is to keep their children in their hometown so that they can take care of them in old age.
【Start working in college】
My family’s conditions are not very bad. My parents are both hard-working people, and their family has already built a small bungalow.
However, parents’ thinking is still at the stage of raising children for old age. Many relatives say that raising their children is in vain if they go to work outside.
When I was in college, my parents gave me very little living expenses. In order to buy books, clothes and shoes, I went out to work when I had time.
Compared to my brother who has always been in my hometown, I enjoy very little family affection. During the summer vacation, I worked part-time near the university town. Summer in the south is very hot, and I still remember the scorching feeling of the heat wave.
I work hard, and when I save money, I buy gifts for my family. Not for anything else, just to let my parents know that you can make money by studying.
[When I got married, my parents didn’t contribute a penny]
When I was in college, I lived a very poor life. But at that time, people were relatively stupid. As long as they had enough to eat, everything was easy.
My family made it clear that they would not support me studying for graduate school. Moreover, if I don’t go back to my hometown to find a job, they will have raised my son for nothing.
Without support from my family, I started working after graduating from college. Fortunately, I studied a good major and received a pretty good salary. It’s just that I can’t go back to my hometown because there are no suitable jobs there.
After working outside for a few years, I met the girl I loved, my wife.
My wife’s family conditions are much better than mine, and she is also an only child. Originally, my parents-in-law were very opposed to us being together. But seeing that we have a deep relationship, he didn’t continue to hinder us.
is just as I expected. When we got married, my parents didn't contribute any money.
[Since the wedding, the conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have not ceased]
The money for the wedding is my daily savings.
My parents think I am unfilial. Because I have never lived with them. I am looking for a wife, and they are all dissatisfied. In their eyes, the only daughter in the city is a representative of arrogance.
The wedding room was sponsored by the parents-in-law. I gave the bride price with my own saved salary. The parents-in-law only asked for a symbolic fee of 20,000 yuan.
When I went back to my hometown to hold a wedding, my parents didn’t look good on my wife. My mother likes my sister-in-law. Although my sister-in-law has been staying at home since she got married. But in the eyes of parents, the daughter-in-law who stays with them is their own.
From the beginning, the conflicts between my wife and my mother have never ceased. They despise each other.
Mom always thinks my wife is extremely squeamish. Whenever we go back to our hometown, my mother keeps picking on us.
How can I bear my wife’s temper? She never went back to my hometown with me again.
[My wife is pregnant, and my sister-in-law is rushing to have a second child]
After we settled outside, apart from asking me for living expenses, my family treated me as if I was not their child.
After my wife became pregnant, I communicated with my mother and hoped that she would take care of the child. My mother works at home all year round, which is very hard. If you are around us, you can at least do less work.
But what I didn’t expect was that the sister-in-law did not allow the mother to take care of the child. The sister-in-law said that she also wanted to have a second child and could not leave people around her.
My mother didn’t want to come to my side to take care of her children. With my sister-in-law as an assistant, she never mentioned anything about what happened to us.
is just my sister-in-law’s second child that will always stay in her mouth.
[My mother works as a nanny to support my brother’s life]
After my wife gave birth, my parents didn’t come over to see her. They just urged me to send money to my family.
My finances are not as good as before marriage, and the money given to me is very little.
My wife is used to what my parents do. Although my parents-in-law had objections, they still didn’t say anything in front of me.
But I later learned from relatives that my mother was not at home at all. In order to support the life of the eldest brother and his family, my father worked on the construction site. My mother went to the county town to work as a nanny.
There is no harm without comparison. My brother and his wife live in their hometown without spending a penny on food and accommodation. They are all in their prime, but they still have to rely on their elderly parents. In fact, it is just chewing the old.
I live outside and pay the mortgage every month. But my parents never cared about me at all.
[Dad is sick, by default I will pay for the medical expenses]
When my child entered kindergarten, my parents did not care about it.
During the holidays, they only care about whether the red envelopes and gifts are in place. They gave all their love and warmth to their brother.
Last year, my father fell ill and stayed in the hospital for almost 2 weeks. His body was damaged by working on the construction site. The elder brother and his wife lived a life of fishing in troubled waters. The parents felt sorry for their eldest grandson, so they could only try their best to survive.
It’s just that after my father fell ill, my family assumed that I would bear all the medical expenses. The reason is still the same. If I am not at home on weekdays, I have to pay more.
The wife was so angry. He threatened to go to court with his brother and his family. On weekdays, my brother and his family enjoy as many subsidies as his parents. At the critical moment, the brother and his wife not only cried about their poverty, but also complained about their difficulties.
In the end, I paid the bulk of the medical expenses. My father kept scolding me as a white-eyed wolf. They felt they were losing money by raising me.
[I am overwhelmed by family trivial matters]
After my father was discharged from the hospital, he could no longer do manual labor. The elder brother and his wife no longer have the salary subsidy from their father and have no choice but to go out to work.
My sister-in-law said she wanted to have a second child, but she never gave birth. They are afraid that the second child is still a son and will not be able to find a wife when the time comes.
Today’s home can only be said to be unsatisfactory. Dad has to rest in bed often. His sister-in-law was not willing to take care of him at all and could not even carry a bowl of water.
The elder brother and his wife left their children at home and went out to work. His child is 19 years old. In rural areas, this is the age when you start looking for a wife.
My mother also quit her job as a nanny to focus on taking care of my father. Most of their money was squandered by their eldest son. There are always a few days every month when my mother calls me to ask for money.
I gave money to my family once, and my wife asked me if my brother had taken the money home. My parents said that my brother gave them thousands every month. If they really gave it, they wouldn't even be reluctant to buy a piece of clothing.
I am overwhelmed with family chores. Work pressure is already very high, and you have to face countless worries.
[One day counts, one day passes]
There are many things, I can only comfort myself and try to find ways to overcome them.
My parents’ ideas are so old-fashioned and I can’t change them at all. The brother and sister-in-law are used to taking advantage and will not bear the heavy responsibility of providing for the elderly.
My wife has more and more opinions about me every day. Compared to how much my parents-in-law have done for us, my parents simply don’t treat me as their own son.
I don’t know if anyone has the same trouble as me.I am a science student. I can calculate many mathematical problems, but I cannot give the answers to life.
If one day passes, it counts as one day. I am a son, a husband, and a father. It’s just that life is really hard.
【I will love my children well】
People always have to grow up. As we live, our children grow up. Parents will also grow older by one day accordingly.
They raised me, and I can't ignore them. In the future, we can only share the issue of pension with my brother as much as possible.
As for my child, I will love him well.
child, he is just my child. I wouldn't ask him to be stuck with me for the rest of his life. Nor will I impose my parents’ complaints and indifference towards me on him.
I just hope that my children can live happily.
To put it another way, I have come out of the countryside. I will have a pension in the future. My life will no longer be as miserable as before.
I want to thank you for this wonderful era. Studying is the best way and the fairest way.
Think about what I have, and then look at the troubles in life. There are a lot of things you have to figure out on your own.
