There are many marriage failures and indifferences, not entirely because of one party’s cheating or the feelings are fading. In addition to sexual impulsiveness and hot-headedness, the former cheats are mostly due to the latter's love for the weak. The latter's feelings become weak, which is almost a statement contrary to normal thinking, because intimate feelings are like tea, the more you brew, the stronger you become, and the more you spend, it becomes new. Unless this relationship has hidden many hidden causes of estrangement from the beginning.
1917 In the early morning of May 14, 18-year-old Jiang Biwei followed Xu Beihong on the Boaimaru passenger ship to Nagasaki, Japan. It’s okay not to leave. When he left, Jiang Biwei committed two serious crimes, one was to escape from marriage (arranged marriage signed by his parents), and the other was to elope.
At the beginning of the Republic of China, no matter whether they escape marriage or elope, those who have no status were caught, they should arrange to dive into pig cage ; those who have some status, even if they do not cause life, the reputation of the family will be greatly affected and humiliated, and even affect public relations. There is a top female writer in Hulanhe who elopes with others, and her father, who is a job as a job in the Education Bureau, is notorious, so he was removed from his post by his leader and forced to leave his local life. It is conceivable that Jiang Biwei committed a serious crime that is comparable to being cut into pieces!
A few months after she arrived in Japan, she learned that her parents were suffering from rumors all over the city, and their backs were poked by relatives and friends. Fortunately, the Jiang family is a giant family in Yixing and is the largest family. Others can gossip, but no one who dares to touch the Jiang family has such courage.
Although Jiang Biwei, who ran away, is already eighteen years old and has full civil capacity for . On the surface, she also voluntarily followed Xu Beihong, and Xu Beihong did not hold the kitchen knife on her neck to coerce her. But considering that this is a yellow girl who lives in the deep boudoir for a long time and never leaves her home, she said that she is eighteen years old and she is only fourteen years old in her IQ.
and what about Xu Beihong? Children from poor families have already experienced marriage and children, and have come out to work hard for many years to support their families. The world is not high, but it is also quite wide. He had eaten at Jiang's house several times, and his mouth was smeared with honey to make the two elders of the Jiang family fascinated, and he became his own family.
Jiang Biwei said: "It didn't take long, he became a part of our family. Whenever he had time, he always stayed in our family. Usually, he had no classes in school on Thursday afternoon, and he came after lunch. He didn't rush to school until Friday morning; after coming on Saturday afternoon, he would not leave until Monday morning."
Not long after, the poor painter had a few copper plates in his pocket and dared to take Miss Jiang to Japan with her, and she was too brave. The premise was that Jiang Biwei had never had a date with this man alone, and he didn't even have a single conversation, so he followed him on the boat. It was purely out of admiration and love for Xu Beihong that warmed her mind.
When Jiang's father knew about this, he would not say that it was a shameful and humiliating scandal, from a moral perspective, he was analyzing whether Xu Beihong's behavior was open and honest, and whether there was any suspicion of abduct or coaxing. After all, his daughter was not well-informed, young and ignorant, and naive.
However, the subsequent tide was ready and the raw rice was cooked. Jiang's father had to stop making any mistakes and send blessings.
But who would have thought that decades later, this couple of elopement lovers who do whatever they want, flying into the fire and taking risks will end up in a situation where they turn their backs on their faces and turn against each other. The huge alimony that Jiang Biwei opened during the divorce made Xu Beihong's current wife gritted her teeth, pointing out that in order to pay off her debt, Xu Beihong forgot to eat and paint, so that the old woman could spend her days in Taiwan and live a comfortable life, but Xu Beihong herself died young.
Xu Beihong and Jiang Biwei cheated in the middle and late stages of the marriage, although it is certainly a symbol of the end of this marriage, the details that were peeled off during their passionate love can also become a footnote to this failed marriage.
When he first came to Japan, Jiang Biwei was shattered in the matter of taking a bath. The Japanese actually bathed in the same bathing place, and everyone was facing each other with flesh and silk.It would be better to kill a Chinese woman to take off her clothes and throw her chastity into the meat balls all over the pond.
Xu Beihong is an old poor man who has the habit of automatically adapting to the customs of various places. He advised Jiang Biwei to follow the customs of the countryside. Because there was no bathroom equipment in the place where he lived, he could only put the bathhouse to rub the mud, and then gave him a reassurance and said, "No man will look at you, as long as you don't look at those men."
Jiang Biwei was not willing. With the "fragrant body fragrance " that he had not washed clean for many days, he searched the bathhouse near the inn and finally found a man and a woman who had a bath. Little did they know that when the bathtub was heard, the Japanese aunt taught her how to take a Japanese bath.
Jiang Biwei was very embarrassed. This lady has been taking a bath for eighteen years. Her fair and graceful figure has always been a self-admiration. Now, not only have these aunts seen it, but she has also commented on her soap. Then after washing, he climbed out of the bathhouse and ran into a male worker in the bathhouse who was wearing a white towel around his waist to cover the indescribable objects. After returning, she said to Xu Beihong in shame: "My eyes are not clean." This girl from Jiangnan has been to the bathhouse once, but she has never been to it again. She bought a clay tank and asked the landlord to help boil water.
The problem of bathing is a compromise, but the mental torture has just begun. Since Jiang Biwei secretly elopes with someone, who is the "this person"? The two elders of the Jiang family are not fools. Who else can there be except you Xu Beihong! But Xu Beihong wishfully kept this open secret. In order to cover up, he gave Jiang Biwei a name and erased Jiang Tangzhen granted by other people's parents. So the name Jiang Biwei was used for the rest of his life.
At that time, Chinese people studying in Japan were in herds of cattle and horses. I knew that Xu Beihong, who was famous, had come and had acquaintances and friends came to visit him every day. In order not to reveal the truth, Xu Beihong hid Jiang Biwei in the bathroom as long as someone came. God knew that he was talking to his friends about what kind of plans he made for money, so he never finished talking. Jiang Biwei stayed in the cramped space to count sheep, and went to jail.
"If Mr. Xu had a happy conversation with the guest, I would have to stand in the toilet for a long time and suffer a lot."
In Jiang Biwei's opinion, Xu Beihong failed to detect carefully that she was so at a loss for everything in Japan, so it was naturally impossible to talk about the concern.
"Because of the unfamiliar people and the first time I left my family, I felt very depressed mentally. Mr. Xu didn't know much about my mood at that time, so he couldn't give me much comfort."
In Tokyo, Xu Beihong's favorite thing is to visit bookstores and watch imitation original paintings of little Japan. For some reason, he insisted on pulling Jiang Biwei. At that time, Jiang Biwei was still very young and had a low reputation for artistic influence. She didn't understand or was interested in Xu Beihong's favorite things. Letting her accompany him to a bookstore is equivalent to calling a man to accompany a woman to a shopping mall, which is a real torture. Xu Beihong simply left her aside, sat and waited for a long time, and was in jail again.
"You often sit by the side and wait for him, and sit for half a day. That feeling is really not very good."
Xu Beihong was happy. He was also very rich. He would spend a lot of money without hesitation when he saw the painting he liked. It was precisely because he bought paintings endlessly that the two thousand dollars he brought were made by him in half a year under the standard of living with a suckling vegetable.
Two people who were not doing anything for childbirth had to return to China in shame in November of that year. The result was similar to the bloody TV plot - a rich girl fell in love with a poor boy, and the poor boy elopes with a rich girl, and eventually lost to the reality of food, rice, oil and salt.
From this we can also see that Xu Beihong was unable to be responsible for this woman, but he brought other people's daughter out of the ocean without thinking about it. The daughter could not ask for help from her parents, nor could her parents take care of her daughter. If she was unexpected, she could not respond to each other from afar. If something happened, she would explain to the Jiang family in Yixing. I am afraid that Xu Beihong would not be able to gain a foothold in his hometown in Yixing even if he apologized for guilt.
When Xu Beihong returned to Shanghai, he didn't know how to face the big scandal she exposed. He was afraid of being held accountable by the Jiang family, so he didn't dare to send Jiang Biwei home, so he opened a small room and hid her in a hotel.
did this, saying that he was smart and too concealed. The Jiang family has many ears and ears, and within a few days, Jiang's mother found them in vain.
Seeing Jiang’s mother coming, Xu Beihong was like a frightened bird. What else could she do except slap herself in front of her mouth and crying, "I, Xu Beihong, deserve to die, I am not a human being."
Look at Jiang Biwei again, and she cried and hugged her. Jiang's mother held it in her hand and was afraid of falling. She held it in her mouth and was afraid of melting it. She was even more reluctant to scold her.
big mistake has been made, and shouting and killing will not help. Jiang’s mother is open-minded and generous, and she respects the love of young people. But at present, he dared not invite these two young ancestors to go home because Jiang's father and daughter were still on the verge of breaking like water and fire. In order to make their daughter and their prospective son-in-law live comfortably, Jiang's mother rented a room in Minhouli for them to eat and drink.
According to the speculation, Jiang’s mother’s attitude also represents Jiang’s father’s attitude, revealing a gentle forgiveness. So Xu Beihong escaped this disaster.
is just what Jiang Biwei thinks? She did not score the degree of match between Xu Beihong and herself for this miserable and failed trip abroad, and then chose to stop loss or maintain an attitude of assessment. Instead, she regarded it as a passing cloud and smoke, and turned into a moth that was extinguished in the fire, striding towards the mud foot.
In December, Xu Beihong was going to Beijing to ask for help, thinking about finding a place to stay in Europe for official fees.
From Shanghai to Beijing, it is said that the train on Jinpu Railway is the fastest, but Xu Beihong has to take the boat to walk on the water. The reason is that he is too poor. The money in his pocket is only enough to buy two slum cabin tickets. The inside is full of smoky people and the most ashamed is that there is only Jiang Biwei, the entire cabin.
She described her mood in this way: "I am very distressed in this environment. I felt sad at that time, full of grievances, but I didn't even dare to say a complaint."
The two elders of the Jiang family did not fund them. If their daughter could not endure hardship, they could choose to come back and arrange for her to marry a noble son of a good family without worries about food and clothing. But Jiang's father could not have paid a lot of money to help a daughter who violated her father's order. It was also an assessment of Xu Beihong. If he could not afford to raise the daughter of the Jiang family, he would let her go as soon as possible.
came to Beijing. Xu Beihong took the introduction letter from his teacher Kang Youwei and successfully obtained a place to study abroad for official fees, but at this time the European war was in full swing and could only stay in Beijing. While waiting for the war to end, filling the stomach became a top priority again. Jiang Biwei said bluntly, "Life is still very difficult."
Peking University President Cai Yuanpei fell in love with Xu Beihong's strange goods and was willing to lend a helping hand. He specially added an art tutor position for him, with a monthly salary of 50 yuan (it was actually only more than 30 yuan after deducting). Jiang Biwei is not just a burden of wasting rice. She has studied and has a bit of culture. When Xu Beihong went to work, she also went to the school founded by Li Shizeng to teach music to subsidize her family income.
According to the saying, life is neither salty nor light, but I didn’t expect Xu Beihong to entertain himself.
is the golden decade of the Republic of China. Beijing City has gathered. With Xu Beihong's talent, it is difficult not to be appreciated. There is a rich man named Luo Yinggong who sends him tickets to listen to the opera every day. That's right, I'm asking for it every day.
Xu Beihong was not willing to refuse this sweetness. He ran out to listen to opera every day, left his wife alone at home to watch the door, and fortunately he opened the door for him in the early morning of the night.
"I had to wait for his door late at night. At that time, there was no electric bell , nor lights. We lived in the back, from the room to the outside to open the door, we had to pass through two yards and walk a long way, it was dark and we couldn't help but be afraid. At the same time, we sat alone for several hours every night, and felt very lonely."
Jiang Biwei begged, "Can you stop listening to the opera?"
Xu Beihong said angrily: "People look down on me, Xu Beihong, how can I not sell my face?"
As angry, Jiang Biwei also bought a ticket to listen to the opera. When he arrived at the place, he realized that the theater was divided by men and women. After the show was over, Xu Beihong left first. Jiang Biwei still wanted to go home alone in the dark and night, so he never dared to listen to the opera alone.
Between staying in Beijing and October (1918), I don't know how the money was spent, and maybe it was not enough to spend it, so my family couldn't get it.
The mother of Cheng who helped me ask about the money for buying vegetables. Jiang Biwei touched her whole body, leaving only two copper yuan , and said, "Go and ask the sir to get it. "
Cheng's mother replied: "Sir, don't eat at home today. "
As a last resort, Jiang Biwei handed the two copper coins to Cheng's mother and said, "Then let's buy half a pound of noodles today and eat them. "
Cheng's mother took the copper coin and said, "Madam, half a pound of noodles costs four copper coins, but there are still two shortfalls." "
At that moment, Jiang Biwei was extremely embarrassed and almost found a crack in the ground to get into it. She had no choice but to say humbly: "Mama Cheng, I can't take it out for the moment. You can help you get two first. "
The next day, she took off the gold bracelet that her mother gave her and asked Xu Beihong to take it off. Xu Beihong looked reluctant and said, "When people saw that a big man was pawning a woman's jewelry, what should they think of me? How can I hold my face? "
" I can't even eat, you are really not in a hurry. "Jiang Biwei cursed angrily, and took the bracelet as a four-yuan home.
" Since we arrived in Beijing, we have been very poor. " Xu Beihong has no worries. He either eats simple food in the Peking University canteen or participates in social gatherings. He always can't starve. Therefore, when he encounters the family's youth, he mostly doesn't care. Some of his friends keep him for food, drink and fun. He often draws one or two paintings for others to please, and someone invites him to go and enjoy the delicacies.
Jiang Biwei is not so powerful. She has to rely on a few taels of silver to maintain her food and clothing. She is not as vast as Xu Beihong, and she is as good as her friends. Her Beijing dialect is so pitiful that she has no one to speak.
"In my memory, my life in Beijing is only depressed and poor. "
919, after more than a year of constrained in Beijing, the notice of going abroad finally came down, and the departure date was set on March 20.
That day, Jiang's father hurried to the dock, and the father and daughter had already resolved their past grudges. Jiang's father said many words of encouragement and cheering to his daughter, who was about to travel far, and he immediately went back to school to attend class, and Jiang's mother stayed to send the boat.
The three of them talked when they didn't get on the boat When the boat came and got on the boat, Jiang Biwei and his mother were stunned. This Japanese ship, known as the third-class cabin, was actually only at the level of the fourth-class cabin of European steamers. The equipment was old and the light was dim. More than one hundred people gathered together, and the smell of sweat filled the entire cabin. The faces of all single men made Jiang Biwei feel a daydream again.
Jiang's mother couldn't help but shed tears on the front and sobbed and said, "I've asked my daughter to bury her in the pile of men before I walked out. How much more will I suffer in the road behind? "
Xu Beihong was hit by his mother-in-law, and felt uncomfortable with his face. He had to comfort him, "I will be over if I endure it."
At this time, two students from the same class saw the clues and generously gave up the two second-class tickets for exchange, but the difference was more than 400 yuan to .
.
. It is like Xu Beihong, who is usually unwilling to do so. But in front of his mother-in-law, he must be tough, grit his teeth, and buy it at a price.
7 weeks later, he finally arrived in Paris, France.
Traveling for a whole month, and they were warmly entertained by the Chinese Student Union. Among them, an old intellectual named Xie Shoukang pays attention to the couple.
He said to Xu Beihong: "Xiao Xu, you couple are good everywhere, but you walk too fast. You always leave your wife behind and should take care of her more."
Xu Beihong heard it and said he would change it, but his mouth was frizzy and wanted to say something: "Then shouldn't I put my mind on her when I walk? "
This is a discordant tone, which runs through the entire marriage.
" Mr. Xu never changed it. When he walked with me, he still walked as fast as he could. ”
After living in Paris, Xu Beihong invited an old French man to teach Jiang Biwei to learn French, and he himself made time to visit museums to appreciate paintings.
As early as on the boat when he arrived, Xu Beihong worked hard to teach Jiang Biwei's letters and pinyin in French.
Once he mastered the language, Jiang Biwei could see the world better. It could be a French newspaper or a Xu Bei The award-winning congratulations of Hong's paintings, at least what Xu Beihong could see, she could see. Xu Beihong never suppressed, suppressed, contempt or deceived Jiang Biwei. Even if he was so poor in Japan, he was still willing to spend money to hire her teacher Japanese , even though he was so stingy.
Perhaps this is why Jiang Biwei was willing to follow this poor painter. He could take her to see this big world and see the ideals he pursued. On the contrary, if she was obedient in Yixing, she would confine herself to the gloomy deep courtyard for the rest of her life and be an old-fashioned lady.
There is no doubt that every woman hopes to have a husband who can make her progress, rather than sarcastic, ridiculed, belittled, and blocked the mailism of her wife. In the early years of the Republic of China, although Xu Beihong's concept of equal rights between men and women was not high, she was also the only one among the many great men.
In addition, Xu Beihong seems to be careless, careless, and poor, and seems so insecure. But in Jiang Biwei's eyes, she has a different interpretation. She believes that a man's diligence is the best sense of security, and everything else can be ignored.
Xu Beihong has such charm.
"Mr. Xu Beihong has always admired the spirit of hard work and hard work. "
It seems that everyone can understand that diligence will fulfill those promises or never promised one by one. At least it is depicting a "future worthy of belief".
Take academic performance as an example. There are many Chinese students who cheat on official fees and spend money to scammers. It is easy to graduate from foreign high schools, but Xu Beihong is the only Chinese student who passes the theoretical examination in the French National Highest Art School. Because of his excellent grades and seriousness, he is Strength and hard work have made him one of the few Chinese people in the art academy who are not bullied.
stayed in Europe for about two years (at the end of 1921), and the Zhifeng War in China broke out. People were living in poverty and political turmoil. The Peking government still remembers the fact that they were making living expenses for overseas students. They used their money to buy guns and cannons to hit their own people.
Xu Beihong's life was already tight because he used an official quota to support two. Individually, if the government does not transfer money, he will either return home hungry or borrow usury like other Chinese students.
Miracle is that he and Jiang Biwei did not experience the darkest moment of their life with affection.
Such a small episode appeared in the middle of
. When Xu Beihong and Jiang Biwei took out a sum of money to travel to Germany for the first time, Jiang Biwei was targeted by Zhang Ji, the fourth son of the former governor of Guangdong, Guangxi and Liangjiang, Zhang Renjun, .
After getting familiar with each other, Zhang Jicai told Jiang Biwei that she looked similar to her young sister Ling, which made him imagine. With this love, Xu Beihong and his wife were warmly entertained by Zhang Jicai and his wife. Later, they directly arranged a banquet and recognized Jiang Biwei as their sister.
Xu Beihong was exposed to Jiang Biwei's beauty as his sister, and saved the cost of renting a house and eating. The couple finally ended their poverty.
I really dared not think about it, and was hit by this kind of luck falling from the sky.
"In twenty months, Mr. Ji Cai and his wife have helped us a lot. I have never forgotten this kind of friendship for decades, and I always regret not being able to repay them well."
From that time on, Xu Beihong gradually became better and became famous. Jiang Bi was very sad and sweet, and was elegant and luxurious.
There is no doubt that this is a couple who share weal and woe and weal and woe. The most precious feeling in the world is this. It’s just that strong flaws also laid the groundwork for the fall of this relationship.
Jiang Biwei did not come to enjoy the reputation of Xu Beihong. She came to accompany him to endure hardship. The more a woman suffers with a man, the more a man becomes rich and powerful, the more she asks for it. Because she had to make up for the hardships she had suffered, especially Jiang Biwei, who was born to never suffer, would have more radical demands on making up for the rich material. Xu Beihong, who became a successful person in the future, did complain about Jiang Biwei's problems of spending money and making money.
Wait until the marriage age of an old couple, a wife who is burdened but cannot provide freshness will naturally cause Xu Beihong to develop a disgusted wife disease.
On the other hand, although Xu Beihong is an artist, he thought his heart was as good as hair and had a slight understanding of human beings, but he probably didn't understand the inner changes of Jiang Biwei, which was enough to show that he was not that delicate. In addition, the fact that his wife was hungry even happened, which shows that he was not very responsible for his wife to fulfill her responsibilities. Such problems can be lenient and mediocre when living with poverty and hardship. Once a day is peaceful, you will be scrupulous. First, Xu Beihong cannot change his temperament; second, subtle quarrels will bring out these old sesame and grain-like things infinitely. Over time, Jiang Biwei also developed a husband-loving disease. Perhaps her catchphrase is like many middle-aged women, "I married the wrong person without any eyes."
This couple who have been with each other for nearly 30 years initially fell in love and eventually hated.
