Introduction
"Shame" is a common Chinese character in . " Shuowen Jiezi " explains: "Shame is also contribution." With the development of the times, "Shame", which is extended to: " is embarrassing" and "shame".
"Shame" is a psychological state. From a psychological point of view, shame is a painful emotional experience caused by a certain body because of its shortcomings in personality, ability, appearance, etc., or inconsistent with the normal state of society in terms of thoughts and behaviors.
A historian pointed out that in ancient times, "shame" was mostly used for cheating between men and women.
The ancients believed that cheating was a matter that humiliated our ancestors. In the eyes of the ancients, the ancestor was an "ancestor god" and it is sacred and cannot be offended.
"Mandarin·Luyu" says, "You Yu family 文 Huangdi and ancestor 文 Zhuanxu , suburbs Yao and ancestor Shun; Xia Hou family 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 文 �
So, how could the ancients think that cheating was a matter that humiliated our ancestors?
The ancients believed that "infidelity" is the improper relationship between men and women, and this improper relationship "defeats the wind and filth" will bring shame to ancestors, thus leading to humiliation of ancestors.
So, did the ancients not do anything to cheat that shamed their ancestors?
historical materials say that ancient people rarely had the opportunity to do cheating things that shamed their ancestors.
A marriage expert pointed out that women in ancient times had the habit of "not leaving three households and four households".
According to the statement in "Records of the Grand Historian. Funny Biography", before Sui Dynasty , sometimes there was a situation where "the wine was gone at dusk, the couple sat together, the men and women were sitting together, the steps were intertwined, and the cups and plates were in a mess." This situation was insulting. In order to avoid this kind of insulting situation, women need to bind their feet from the age of fourteen or five to make the "sexuals isolate".
Gao Hongxing said in "History of Foot Binding in China" that women who have not been covered with their feet and have already produced are killed. It means: Any woman who has not bound her feet until she is thirty years old should be executed.
Just imagine: Under such a harsh system, where can women without foot binding exist?
"Search Mountain Picture" and "Mixed People Picture" collected by the Palace Museum in Beijing show that women's feet were very small in ancient times, and the reason was that women in ancient times all had foot binding. It was discovered in archaeology that six pairs of women's shoes were unearthed from a tomb in Fuzhou, Fujian, Fujian. The length of these six pairs of women's shoes is 13.3-14 cm and the width is 4.5-5 cm. It can be seen from this that all women in ancient times were "little feet women".
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"Yijian Yizhi" stated that the ancients "set three families and four households, and women cannot leave."
3yuanchao Yue Bochuan has a line in the second compromise of drama " Tieguai Li ": "It is said that Yue Kongmu has a good family, and there is no one who can contact you." From this we can see that women in ancient times are all "little feet women", and they will not leave the "three doors and four households".When women cannot get out of the "three doors and four households", even though some men want to cheat, where can they find women other than their own wives? If a man can’t find a woman other than his wife, how can he have the chance to do something that shames his ancestors?
A sociologist pointed out that even in the early days of the founding of the People, there were few cases of men and women cheating among the people. The main reasons were two. First, the "collective production system" was implemented at that time, and people rarely had free activities. It should be said that men and women had no chance to cheat; Second, due to the influence of traditional ideas, people at that time generally had a strong sense of "shaming", and under the shackles of "shaming", some men and women were ashamed to cheat.
The sociologist went on to point out that it should be said that most of the cheating of men and women occurred after the reform and opening up. Since reform and opening up drove the influx of new foreign thoughts, the phenomenon of cheating of men and women gradually increased under the influence of new foreign thoughts.
A senior netizen pointed out that most of the cheating of men and women are "big and small", and few cases of "big and small men" occur.
However, on October 3, something like this happened somewhere in Hunan.
incident
Jing, 74 years old this year, is a mother-in-law. Jing has two sons, the eldest son is 50 years old this year, and is a bricklayer; the younger son is 48 years old this year, and is a big car driver, and both sons are very filial.
Since Jing's two sons felt that his widowed mother was older, the two brothers decided after discussion: let their mother Jing take turns to have dinner in their families.
Although Jing is already 74 years old, her health is still strong. She often does things for her two sons when she can't rest.
Starting from October 1, Jing's turn was on his youngest son's house to eat and live. Because the youngest daughter-in-law suffered from lumbar disc herniation , and her younger son was busy running, Jing found that her younger son had less firewood at home. So she planned to go to the nearby woods with her younger son's neighbor, Grandma Liu, to pick up some firewood. But when she was about to take the hatchet from her youngest son's house, she found that the hatchet from her youngest son's house was broken. In desperation, she decided to go to her eldest son's house to get a hatchet.
At around 2 o'clock on October 1, Jing and her younger son's neighbor, Grandma Liu, came to her eldest son's house to get a hatchet. When she pushed open the door of the eldest son's house, she found that her forty-nine-year-old daughter-in-law and a 17 or 18-year-old man in the village were hiding in the woodshed. So he pointed at the two of them and said, "You two are 30 years apart, so they are so embarrassed." After that, Jing quickly retreated.
Jing's younger son's neighbor, Grandma Liu, said: "Last month, Jing's eldest son fell and injured his leg and kept recuperating in the house. Perhaps because Jing's eldest son was at home, Jing's eldest daughter-in-law hid in her own woodshed with the young man."
Grandma Liu continued: "Because the young man who was with Jing's eldest daughter-in-law was a little 'inappropriate', almost everyone in the village knew him."
Grandma Liu continued: "After Jing retreated from the woodshed, she immediately went back to the house to tell her eldest son about the situation she saw. Her eldest son was very angry when he heard about this, but because he was unable to act, he had no choice but to take his wife for the time being. However, he claimed that he wanted to divorce his wife! And his wife also hid out that afternoon." The above mentioned in
is a general process of this incident.
Voices of fellow villagers
When many fellow villagers learned about this, the fellow villagers also had a heated discussion.
fellow villagers Wu: It’s simply unexpected! A woman in her forties and fifties actually did such a thing, which really left people home.
fellow villagers Yu Moumou: If they are of the same age, it seems reasonable. The key is that the difference between the two is so big, which is really unreasonable.
In short, there are a lot of discussions among the villagers.
Lao Hu’s opinion
self-esteem is the abbreviation of self-respect.The so-called self-esteem is also called "face talk". As the saying goes: People need shame, trees need bark. If an person loses his face, is it the same as the Walking Dead? So, what is the meaning of life?
Venerable Mahind in "Abhidharma" said:
"Only a person with shame and shame knows propriety, righteousness, integrity, shame, and shame. If there is no shame, there is no sense of shame. The difference between humans and animals is that people have shame, people have shame, while animals do not have shame, and they can run around naked. ... Humans are humans, animals are animals, and animals do not have shame, so they can do things randomly. If a person does not have shame, they are animals, and even beasts are worse than animals."
According to Venerable Mahind, once a person doesn't even have any face and no shame, then this person is a beast in clothes.
I believe that Jing’s eldest daughter-in-law should know this principle. After all, she is also in her forties or fifties. How could she not even understand this principle? Since Jing's eldest daughter-in-law understands this principle, she should really reflect on herself and never do anything to be sorry for her husband. Otherwise, her home would really be disbanded.
What do you think?
