In 1955, Eileen Chang arrived in the United States from Hong Kong via Japan on the Presidential Cruise Ship Cleveland as a Chinese expert refugee.
On the day of her "landing", that is, October 22, Eileen Chang obtained the " green card " for US immigration.
Zhang Ailing's green card (address is in the 13th district of San Francisco)
The US immigration policy at that time was: apply first, and then review eligibility. After being approved, you will be granted an entry permit, and you can use this to buy air tickets or ferry tickets to the United States. You can get your green card on the day you land. After living in the United States for five years, you can become a naturalized citizen of the United States.
Every time Eileen Chang leaves a place, it has nothing to do with reality, but only with her state of mind.
Three years before that, because her lover Sang Hu had married someone else, she resolutely left Shanghai for Hong Kong and never met with Sang Hu again.
Eileen Chang left Hong Kong also because of her state of mind: Hong Kong at that time was in the middle of the world, and it was a place where many forces competed. "Chaos" and "uncertainty" make Eileen Chang feel insecure, so even though she has a decent job in Hong Kong (working in the Hong Kong office of the US Information Service), she has a lot of income, Song Qi , With the company of Kwong Man-mei and her husband, she also resolutely left Hong Kong. Eileen Chang wanted a sense of security, freedom, and dignity, and she felt that "the United States can give her."
It is no exaggeration to say: Eileen Chang had a dream when she went to America. The world can imagine that when she set foot on the land of San Francisco in the United States with luggage, she must have longing on her face, and her eyes may still be shining.
In order to establish a firm foothold in the United States as soon as possible, Eileen Chang published her English version of the novel "Yangko" in the United States. She had high hopes for the novel, which also received critical acclaim from the industry.But unfortunately: it is only applauded, not great! This means: it cannot bring Zhang Ailing the desired benefits.
Seeing that the money brought from Hong Kong ran out, Eileen Chang was very anxious. As a last resort, she had to apply for the aid of the McDowell Art Camp. It was here that she met Lai Ya, an equally down-to-earth American dramatist . A few months later, Eileen Chang married this man 29 years her senior.
Shortly after their marriage, Lai Ya moved into Eileen Chang's small apartment in New York, and their living life began.
McDowell Arts Camp Hall
Before Laiya was paralyzed, they had a pretty good life. Laiya brews the Italian coffee herself every day and places the brewed coffee on delicate English-style china plates. Every day, when Eileen Chang wakes up, delicious desserts and coffee appear in front of her...
This kind of life is a bit of "petty bourgeoisie" that Eileen Chang likes. In the face of the cruel reality, their short "petty bourgeoisie life" soon came to nothing.
After Lai Ya had a stroke, Zhang Ailing had to take care of him and make money to pay for his medical expenses. She also had to learn to buy and cook. "Life is cruel," Zhang Ailing finally understood the meaning of this sentence.
"Money, money, money", Eileen Chang needs money. While translating her previous works, she began to organize some texts similar to memoirs. After the work came out, it was still not accepted by the American public. Their living expenses are always pitiful, but their expenses are huge. Laiya's entire income is his monthly social welfare payment of $52,All other expenses have to be paid by Eileen Chang.
At this point, Eileen Chang's ambitions when she first came to the United States are running out. The moon in the United States is indeed very round, but the money in the United States is not so easy to earn.
Zhang Ailing has become very concerned about her income from royalties. She often writes and draws on paper with a pen in order to calculate which work will bring better economic benefits. Zhang Ailing no longer cares about the "applause" or "value accumulation" of her works, she cares more about money.
The only benefit that Lai Ya's frequent strokes bring to Zhang Ailing is that in the process of taking care of her husband, her self-care ability has improved, and when she goes to the grocery store, she even has a little ordinary family Women's shrewdness.
She has become a hot female writer in China. But her development in the United States has often been cold. Her English works have never been recognized by the American literary world, and it is clear that Americans cannot appreciate her "Eileen Chang" style of writing.
Eileen Chang has tried different themes and different ways of writing, but the ending is always the same. The most difficult thing for Zhang Ailing to accept is that the novel "Pink Tears" she wrote so tired that her eyes bleed was rejected by the American publishing company. The words in the rejection letter made her almost cry, they said: "All the characters in the novel. It's all disgusting and dirty!"
Zhang Ailing became seriously ill after receiving the letter, and after several injections of vitamins, she managed to recover.
Undoubtedly, Eileen Chang has not touched the preferences of American readers at all, or is the Chinese way of expression simply unacceptable to Americans? Zhang Ailing could not give the answer to this question, so she could only shake her head helplessly.
Eileen Chang knows that Americans are interested in Xueliang Zhang ,She began to plan the novel "The Young Marshal". Zhang Ailing and Zhang Xueliang have a long history. When she was in Tianjin, her residence was adjacent to the Marshal's Mansion . She wanted to go to Taiwan to interview Zhang Xueliang and collect relevant materials. As a result, she naturally hit a nail.
Because the income is too poor and she has to treat Lai Ya, Eileen Chang has to move to the cheap housing in the black community...
Eileen Chang and Lai Ya
in reality Under the ruthless suppression, Eileen Chang had to rely on Song Qi and Kwong Wenmei from Hong Kong to help connect them and write some scripts in exchange for money. This step of Zhang Ailing also means that she temporarily or for a long time gave up the idea of writing novels to make money in the United States.
In 1961, Eileen Chang went to Hong Kong to create the screenplay "Dream of Red Mansions" at the invitation of the Hong Kong Film and Television Company. Before going to Hong Kong, she will travel to Taiwan to search for information.
Eileen Chang's road to "making money" has been bumpy. She just arrived in Taiwan when she received news that her husband Lai Ya had another stroke.
"This is not a good sign," Eileen Chang thought to herself. Instead of rushing back to the United States, she decided to go to Hong Kong as originally planned. After all, going back at this time will mean that all her travel expenses are "wasted", in fact, she can't go back to the United States at all, and the money she has on hand is not enough to pay for the travel expenses back to the United States.
Zhang Ailing finally returned to Hong Kong again. At this time, her face was dignified, and the wrinkles on her face were significantly more. There were visible red blood in her eyes. She is no longer as "easy" as she used to be, and behind her is a husband, Lai Ya, who needs her comfort, care and assistance at any time.
Sadly, when she left Hong Kong 6 years ago, Eileen Chang thought she would never come back. But in just 6 years, because she couldn't get along in the United States, she went through Taiwan and returned to Hong Kong to "make money".
Eileen Chang's "gold-gathering plan" in Hong Kong soon died, and she was reduced to borrowing money from Song Qi and his wife. Her life at the time was so tight that "even buying a pair of larger slippers had to wait until Christmas discounted it".
Eileen Chang returned to the United States empty-handed, and Lai Ya's life began to count down. During this period, they continued to live a life of hardship. Eileen Chang's development in the United States still has not made any progress, but her novels have once again set off a small upsurge in Hong Kong, Taiwan and other places.
As time goes on, Laiya gets older and weaker every day.
Taking into account the environment of Rydercliffe University in Cambridge, Massachusetts, which is more suitable for her husband's recuperation, Zhang Ailing went quietly with Lai Ya alone. After half a year in Cambridge, Lai Ya lived the rest of her life.
In that year, Lai Ya was 76 years old and Zhang Ailing was 47 years old. After Lai Ya's death, Eileen Chang became more and more withdrawn. She seldom had contact with people, and she was not interested in anything except writing.
When Lai Ya was there, she often cooked something to eat. Lai Ya is gone, she is alone again. She often thinks of some delicacies she ate when she was a child: duck tongue and radish soup in Tianjin, "Sikong" from University of Hong Kong , garlic clove amaranth made by her mother...
These things are of course impossible to meet on the streets of the United States,Naturally, she was not even interested in visiting the snack bar. Eileen Zhang eats food and no longer considers her own appetite. She takes nutrition as her first need. Eating has become a way of coping, a way of sustaining life.
Zhang Ailing took a group photo with her friend Yanying
In her later years, Zhang Ailing almost never cooked food by herself. Her body became very weak, and her figure was getting thinner and thinner every day.
In the 12th year of her visit to the United States, that is, in 1967, when Lai Ya passed away, Eileen Chang's life ushered in a turning point. She entered Radcliffe Women's College in New York as a writer-in-residence and began to translate " " into English. She has a stable and decent job again, and she can finally create with peace of mind.
Two years later, Zhang Ailing changed her old work "Eighteen Spring" and renamed it " Half-Life " and published it in Taiwan. In the same year, Eileen Chang worked at the "China Research Center" at the University of California, Berkeley, and continued her research on "A Dream of Red Mansions".
During at the University of California, Eileen Chang was not happy. Her research was fruitless, and she was not politically sensitive or interested. Therefore, her things can not always satisfy the leadership. At the same time, she had to leave after two years because of her bad relationship.
After leaving UC,Zhang Ailing never thought of "work" in her life, she began to devote all her energy to creation.
After losing her regular income again, Eileen Chang's life was once again in embarrassment.
To make matters worse, Eileen Chang is ill. Toothache, itchy skin. Zhang Ailing attributed her itchy skin to "bugs".
In the 1980s, the "Chang Ailing fever" started again in the entire Chinese-speaking world, and Eileen Chang's economic situation also improved significantly. At this time, Eileen Chang has been living a wandering life. Behind her wandering, it is related to avoiding "bugs". In her frequent correspondence with her friend Xia Zhiqing , she talked about the "bug trouble" she encountered and the "itching" that followed.
Eileen Chang in her later years
In one of the letters, Eileen Chang described the "insect trouble" she encountered in the United States:
"I moved house because of escaped insects. The new house was originally free of cockroaches, but it has been flooded within three years, and all pesticides are ineffective. Recently, I found that there are ants in the mailbox... One after another, fleas cockroaches and ants do not live in Africa, which is ridiculous."
There is an incomplete statistic from: Zhang Ailing has frequently moved as many as 180 times in three years. Obviously, the problem of bugs has seriously affected her quality of life in her later years.
Does the "bug" frequently mentioned by Eileen Chang objectively exist? This issue has not been publicly discussed, and people still believe that Zhang Ailing's fear of insects is purely a psychological problem. In the article "Zhang Ailing is Sick", Taiwanese writer Crystal affirmed the world's speculation, he wrote:
"She has moved since last year (1984).Infected with fleas. In order to save money, I bought a second-hand refrigerator. The fleas reproduced from the bottom of the box, which made her desperate. She even shaved her hair. She had to wash her hair every day. Later, she had to wear plastic clothes and then throw them away... .
Three days for a motel. Went to the doctor and said she was acting out of her mind, but every night her feet would be red and swollen from biting. "
Song Qi, Xia Zhiqing, etc. also hired famous doctors for her and confirmed that her skin was indeed bitten by insects at first, but later, her itching was caused by psychological problems. The facts are in front of you, and Eileen Chang is still noncommittal.
While suffering from the "bug trouble", Eileen Chang is frequently disturbed by reporters. Readers want to know her situation, but she rarely discloses anything in the United States. Because Eileen Chang refused to give any interviews, and a reporter frantically dug out her garbage bag. After this incident, Eileen Chang moved overnight.
Before she first settled in the United States, Eileen Chang wanted "security", "freedom", etc. Wait, she never got it, her American dream was shattered. What's even more embarrassing is that Zhang Ailing, who is in the United States, relies on Chinese readers for all her money.
Autumn 1994 , Taiwan's "China Times" awarded Zhang Ailing "Special Achievement Award". Zhang Ailing specially took the last photo before her death and sent it to "China Times" for publication. Undoubtedly, her career and achievements at this time are all from China.
Shortly after winning the award, Eileen Chang, who knew that her deadline was approaching, specially organized all the important documents and put them in her handbag. She also left a suicide note. The contents of the suicide note are quite confusing to the world:
"1 . Cremation immediately after death, no one can see the remains. 2. Don't hold any funeral ceremony, 3. Scatter the ashes to the empty space. 4. The relics are left to Mr. Song Qi.
The two most puzzling parts of this will are: "No one can see the remains" and "Leave the remains to Mr. Song Qi (she has a younger brother Zhang Zijing in China)."
Eileen Chang's last photo
1995,Zhang Ailing's skin disease relapsed, and it invaded her ears. She couldn't even wear clothes. She had to use fluorescent lamps for 13 hours a day. To this end, she wrote in a letter to Song Qi and his wife on July 25:
"When the hair grows, it becomes a nest, straight down the forehead, nose, a pustule in a pore, and a long bloodstain. Irradiation. It's better. Of course, the skin will only get worse if it's dried out, but it's just an emergency."
Some people think that Zhang Ailing in the United States has so many problems with her body because she is too uncomfortable with the land of the United States. After she suffered from bronchitis in her later years, some people even said:
"Look, it's fine in China, but in the United States, bronchitis can be a problem. American soil, don't support her!"
In September 1995, Eileen Chang was found to have passed away peacefully at home alone. She had been dead for a week when her body was found. The death was reported in the media:
"She was lying on a camp bed with her face turned out, her hair very short, her hands and legs lying flat. She was peaceful, but surprisingly thin. The warm fluorescent lamps were still on when they were found by the landlord. ."
On September 30, Eileen Chang's former friend Lin Shitong and her friend took a boat and scattered Eileen Chang's ashes into the vast sea. At the moment when the ashes flew to the sea, Zhang Ailing's life finally came to an end.
Photos of Eileen Chang's urn and ashes being scattered into the sea
I often wonder: If Eileen Chang had stayed in China instead of living in the United States, what would have happened to her for the rest of her life Woolen cloth? After thinking about it, I finally have no answer. All I can say is: If she has been in China, it is very likely that she will not encounter "bugs" in her later years...
