The couple has been married for more than ten years and has never quarreled. The reporter interviewed her husband: How did you do it? The husband replied: My wife is from the Northeast. The day when my wife got married, the dog yelled at her. She said calmly, this was the first time. Two days later, the wife poured water and passed by the dog. The dog yelled at her again. She said calmly, this was the second time. After a few days, the wife sat next to the dog and chopped firewood. The dog yelled at her again. The wife turned her hand and cut off the dog's head. I saw that she cut the dog to death, so she yelled at her: You are crazy! My wife looked at me calmly and said: This is the first time. From then on, we lived a happy life.
1. The old virgin and the old virgin are going to get married. To show purity, the old virgin has published the first couplet: One river and two mountains have been viewed for 29 years. The old virgin man came out the second couplet: One gun and two bullets have not fought for 28 years. Horizontal draft: Fighting tonight.
2. Women and refrigerators are places to store meat. However, when the meat is put in the refrigerator, it is soft and it is hard when it is taken out; when the meat is put in the refrigerator, it is hard and it is soft when it is put in the refrigerator.
3. The wife took her three-year-old son to the city to visit her husband who was working. When I had sex at night, I woke up and asked: Dad, what are you doing? Dad replied: Come on, your mother. My son said: Why is my mother so fuel-intensive? When I came, the village chief just added fuel to her. . .
4. A hospital was undergoing an ultrasound examination. A male staff member told everyone that Cai B is in Room 201 and Black and White B is in Room 202. The patients went to the designated room for examination. At this time, a woman walked to the staff with a red face and took off her pants and said: Doctor, look at what I belong to? ....
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5. An old man finally died of naked death in the bed of a 20-year-old girl due to overwork. The masses sent elegy couplets, the first couplet: Come naked, go deep into the skirt, and the crabapple tree is trembling! The second couplet: Go away naked, peony flowers under, the tender grass is still green and the old cow returns! Horizontal banner: Animals go to death! His family members asked the forensic doctor to give a nice cause of death as a horizontal banner, and the forensic doctor wrote: I feel comfortable and die.
6. A man had an affair, and his wife sued the unit. The leader of the unit pulled her sign language and said earnestly: "As long as the gun is still in our hands, what's the point of wasting a bullet? What's more, you're all your enemies!"
7. Erdanzi went to the karaoke bar and called a lady to accompany him. The lady asked for 300 to give him one thousand. The lady felt that she met a noble person. The next night Erdanzi ordered the lady again, and the lady was even more energetic, and she got another thousand. The third night, the lady said, "I have never met a good person like you. Where are you from?" Erdanzi said: X County, Province X. The lady cheered: "We are a fellow villager! What are you doing when you come out? Erdanzi said: On a business trip, your mother asked me to bring you 3,000 yuan.
8.. The essay on the college entrance examination that exploded! Composition title "Walking": "Brother, let's have fun?" ! " " How much? ” “200. ” “It’s cheaper? " "150-pack night, is it the old rule! " "Okay, go! ”
9. The man selling fried dough sticks came back after untied his hands and took fried dough sticks to the female customer without washing his hands. After being noticed by the female customer, he said, "I don't want what you take, let your wife take it for me! "After the wife took her fried dough sticks, she muttered as she looked at the female customer's back as she left, "Hmph! He just touched you and thought you were dirty. I touched you all night last night..."
10. The leader asked my wife how many times she had cheated! My wife replied shyly: "Three times. "The leader was furious: "Which three times? "Wife: "Once, you want to be the director, but the director disagrees; secondly you want to be the director, but the county magistrate disagrees; thirdly you want to be the county magistrate, but the 66 representatives of entrepreneurs in the county disagrees. "
11. At dusk, a beautiful girl was wearing under the tree without underwear after taking a shower, and she was wearing only a white skirt. At this time, a farmer happened to pass by. The farmer looked at it for a long time and sighed and said, "What a pity, why do you need a black patch for such a good white skirt?"
12. A migrant worker went to the hospital for examination due to a stool. After the doctor checked, he prescribed a prescription for this person. When the migrant worker went to the medicine to get a roll of toilet paper, he was puzzled. The doctor said, "Don't wipe his butt with a cement bag in the future!
13. After the Chinese football team was defeated, the "Strong Lasting Pill" manufacturer found a member of the national team Lixx to make an advertisement.The plot is: Lixx held a football in his left hand, pointed to the screen with his right hand and said, "Who can not shoot for more than 90 minutes, I can!"
A condom manufacturer was deeply inspired after watching the advertisement for "Strong Lasting Pills", so he found a group of players from the national team and also made an advertisement. The picture is: all the players bombarded the goal, and the slogan: "No matter how many times you shoot, you can't shoot in!"
14. A girl handed a composition to the teacher and said, "Please modify it." After the composition, the teacher corrected it, "The genre is very plump, the first two points are very prominent, the bottom is relatively flat, and there is a little weed when you look down. Looking down, there is obvious loophole."... Rural people specialize in treating all kinds of awesomeness.
(1) A countryman and a city man went to climb a mountain. The city man asked: "Have you ever worn such clothes?" The countryman shook his head. The city people sneered, "Then you are really rustic." The city people asked again, "Have you ever used a mobile phone like mine?" The countryman shook his head again. The city people laughed: "Then you are really behind." Soon the two of them accidentally fell into a deep ditch, and the countryman quickly climbed up the crack of the stone. The countryman asked the city people: "Can you climb up like this?" The city people shook their heads. The countryman sneered: "Then you are so unlucky."
(2) A city man went to the countryside to visit relatives and got lost. I saw an old man on the side of the road. He shook the door and shouted loudly, "Old guy, how can I go to a certain village?" The old man looked at him, "I don't have time to tell you that my cow has gotten a tractor, and I have to go back and take care of it." The city man asked curiously, "Why don't the cow get off the car without getting off the cow's cub?" The old man touched his head, "By the way, I forgot, animals won't get off the car."
(3) There is a city man who especially likes to eat sweet potato leaves . Once I went to visit my relatives in the countryside and bought a few bundles of sweet potato leaves to bring to my relatives. He also said loudly: "This is the delicious food in the city, and it is the best in hot pot; you rural people cannot eat it." Several children said: "Sister, the sweet potato leaves we have here are usually used to feed pigs..."
(4) A city man went to the countryside to take photos. I want to show off my new camera. I saw a young man sitting at home. He said, "Hey! Take a photo for me. I can teach you how to take photos for free. This is high-tech. You have never seen it before." The young man was silent for a moment, took out an 8-megapixel digital camera from behind and said, "I'll take a photo for you, tell me your email, and I'll send it to you later."
(5) A city man went to the countryside to play. When he was having fun, he suddenly heard a farmer shouting: Comrade, you stepped on the wheat. The city man glanced at the farmer and said, "Uneducated, this is called outing." The farmer kicked him into the river and said, "Of course, it's still called trampling on the waves!" "
(6) A gangster from the city went to the countryside to steal chickens. He saw a very ferocious dog standing beside a stupid countryman in the yard. The city people asked him: "Can your dog bite people? "The country man said, "No." "The gangster grabbed the chicken and left, and the dog suddenly bit him. The man in the city said angrily: "Do you think your dog won't bite people?" "The country man: "That's not my dog." ”
(7) A city man bought a BP machine and was so happy that he would show off to others if he had anything to do. One day, he saw a relative from the countryside and said, "This is my pager, call me if you have anything to do. "The farmer took out his cell phone and said, "Okay, I'll record your number in my cell phone!
hope the epidemic will end soon
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