Many marriages of couples, to put it more accurately, just make do. Some are still full of contradictions, the quality of marriage is actually very poor.
This kind of life is uncomfortable, but many couples would rather go on like this than end it, especially for women over 50.
Are you curious about what they think? A 55-year-old woman said frankly: “Retired women do not have a good life but do not divorce. The reason is very simple.” From the perspective of women,
looks like this.
01. I cannot be completely independent financially, and I am afraid of divorce. Ms. Pei Fen is 55 years old this year and has retired for five years. She and her wife have been married for 32 years, and the two have been together for at least 20 years, but they have not divorced until now.
A few days ago, she talked about this problem during a chat with two older sisters of the same age. Originally, she wanted to complain about her marriage. But she found that it was not only her own, but this phenomenon is common in many couples. More or less exist.
, like one of her best friends, said that her marriage is also full of problems. The main reason why it has been maintained until now is that she cannot be completely independent financially, has limited ability, and fears of divorce.
’s original words were: “I’ve been in poor health since I was a child, although I have been working since I got married. However, my salary is low and it’s hard to maintain a normal life with my pension. According to my true feelings in marriage,
I don’t want to continue this marriage for a long time. But I want to leave, but I dare not. I’m really afraid that one day after I leave, I’ll starve to death or die of illness.”
02. There is always the affection from the past that
Pei Fen has no relationship with his wife. Too much harmony is mainly caused by the disagreement of two people's personalities. The addition of
when she was young, her mother-in-law always liked to interfere in the affairs of the two of them, which intensified the conflict and hurt the feelings themselves.
Sometimes when two people quarrel with each other and refuse to give in, and attack each other with sharp words and eyes, she feels that "this kind of life is really unnecessary, it is better to get divorced."
but after the mood calms down I always think of the two people getting along at the beginning of love and marriage, and my thoughts will change quietly.
felt that the other party treated him really well at that time, because there was always affection in the past, and there was no real hurdle between the two parties, and the other party had not really done anything that violated the bottom line, just for some irrelevant disputes. Divorce is a little fuss.
feels better than sometimes caring about him a little less, the life is actually good!
has this idea, and his emotions are like waves on the water surface. When the wind is strong, the ups and downs are a little bit more, and when the wind is small, it is calmer. At this age,
didn't bother to toss any more, so he decided to live together until the end with a more recognizable attitude.
03.
After listening to my two old sisters telling them about their marital status, another of Ms. Pei Fen’s best friend Zhu Fengying sighed and said: “If women care about men, it is estimated that few people can endure them for a long time.
The same is true. When in love, the man is considerate and caring. He can beat and scold as well. After getting married, he slowly turns from a slave to a general. I just want a woman to give without regrets, and I can enjoy myself with peace of mind. The other party’s efforts are also critical and unsatisfactory.
But I always think that young couples come together. No matter men or women, old age, the most rare thing in old age, is to be able to walk with my wife for many years. Z2z
is noisy. It's troublesome, but at least the initial emotions are sincere, and they understand each other's nature and behavior. After all, people will always change, and this attitude should be flat. If there is a contradiction, divorce, I am afraid that the person met in the second marriage , It will make your life even more embarrassing!” After such discussions, the three women at
finally reached a consensus on this issue: women of their age, although the quality of marriage is not ideal, it is also It's not bad enough to get medicine.
To be on the safe side, maintaining the status quo is more in line with my psychological expectations and safety and stability than destroying and discarding, so I am willing to endure it.
Conclusion: z2There is no such thing as perfection and perfection, everything is ideal.
Even as a very loving couple in the minds of others, the happiness of marriage may be just an appearance. Under in-depth understanding, you can always find problems and hear discordant voices. The success of
marriage is the test of how high the tolerance of each other's shortcomings is. The element that determines happiness is not each other's strengths, but the bottom line of personality. Z2z
put it more thoroughly, a happy marriage is achieved by running-in and forbearance, rather than expecting everything to be satisfactory.
It's just that some couples are too lazy to talk about these things and focus on finding ways to live their lives, while some are more concerned about their own feelings, and just nag when they are unhappy. It's just that this dissatisfaction is not strong enough to make them want to break free from the status quo.
-END-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-