, hello, old fan.
is writing to you today because I really don’t know whom to ask for help. The friends around thought I was being played with and asked me to leave that person quickly, but I still couldn't let go.
I am 33 this year. I was tricked into marriage in Chengdu and gave birth to a child. My baby was taken away by the family.
I was deceived because of the money. I didn't have the financial means. I also doubted my life. At that time, the child was divorced after birth, and I didn't fight for custody.
I couldn't take care of myself. I spent three years in Chengdu alone, and then I met this man.
When he chased me, he told me that he was 28, but then told me that he was actually 24.
He said that his family has more than a dozen suites in Chengdu, and the family is in the business of bakery raw material agency. He said he is a rich second generation.
I was so dazed at the time. I was so much older than him and I was divorced. I think he should be just for fun.
But at that time, I was really happy to be with him. In addition, my life was very boring. I didn't tell him about having children. We were together. After playing
for half a year, he treated me very well and even wanted to take me home. But his parents strongly objected, saying that one should find someone who knows the roots. I said I understand. If this is the case, you should think clearly, and I can accept what your parents said. He said no, and then we continue to talk.
Until the end of last year, I accidentally became pregnant.
He went back and told his parents that his parents had no response and said they would not accept it. Then, he said, either only knocked out.
Later, his parents called me and said that I was plotting his family’s property and told me not to use the child. I was really angry. I didn’t arrange the pregnancy. He secretly operated it behind my back. Yes, he did not expect that his parents would still disagree, and he had nothing to do, so he had to give up.
Although I don't have any rich friends, I don't think their family is any rich. There are three cars in his family. The most expensive is the Touareg. He drove his father's Volvo ten years ago. His mother drove a 250,000 Lexus. Their houses are all in places like Shuangliu Xindu Xinjin. a house.
At that time, I was really frustrated and angry, and then I said if you don’t want it, then I would get rid of it. Anyway, I also gave birth to one, so I told all the previous things, and then I went to get rid of the child. Break up.
He was obviously relieved at the time and said everywhere outside that I lied to him.
I think so too. I concealed him. I gave birth to a child. I will bear the bitterness. But when I am with him, we are both AA. His parents give him 6000 salary a month. We are together. My income is higher than him. I never let him buy anything for me. He does I haven't bought it for me, but I often buy him clothes, AJ, fashion clothes, he is good to me, I always want to do more to him.
At that time, I felt that if things get to that point, it must be fine. Unexpectedly, later, he came back to reconcile me and said that he accepted my past, and this time, all the objections of his parents were of no use to him. Let me forgive him for his naivety. After all, he was too young to make things happen. Think simple.
I forgave him because I felt that I was at fault.
never thought that this is the beginning of the real nightmare.
He never treats me like he did before, and will not tolerate me. He quarrels and breaks up at every turn, and soon comes back to find me to reconcile and kneel down.
In September last year, I was ill and was hospitalized and decided not to pester him, but he still came to me, and even forced me to meet by suicide. When I met, I was still asking for peace. I saw that he was self-harm and felt soft.
has really changed in the past few days. I listened to my words and was patient. I started to look forward to this relationship again.
Until yesterday, I was about to buy a house. I asked him for his advice and he said let me consider it myself.
I said that buying a house is not a trivial matter. If the two of us spend time together in the future, I will definitely listen to your suggestions. I told him all the future plans, but he said that he should not be tied up with a house.
He said that he is now in debt, and his parents disagree with us. He said that we should live the moment first. I said that you have not considered our future. He said that he must wait for his success in his career to marry me...
So, in this way of thinking, is he actually not thinking about having a future with me? Then why do you commit suicide and self-harm every time to save me?
I really don’t know what to do,Even if I want to break up with him, he will definitely come to me again after a while. What is the relationship between
, if I disappear completely, it may be over. Do I think too much? Many things are my wishful thinking.
PS, I missed one thing, I am a photographer myself and earn 20,000 to 30,000 per month. He used to borrow online loans to speculate virtual currency, saying that it was for me, but he took up a debt of more than 300,000. I also helped him repay more than 40,000. When I broke up in September, I blocked him in order not to trouble him. Up. I said don't pay back the money. He said he wanted to pay back the money, so I don't want to hack his Alipay.
——A woman who is exhausted in body and mind J
First of all, thank you J for your letter.
I really don’t know, what should I say about you.
falsified age at first, then let you have a baby, and then spread rumors outside that you lied to him. Is this man who tells lies a trustworthy person? The
parents who say you are coveting their family property are also funny, and domestic TV dramas dare not act like that. My own son has made others' stomachs bigger, and he didn't even apologize. Instead, he accused you. What is this extraordinary work?
You ask me why he does not have you in his future, but he always pursues you by self-harm.
What I want to say is, does he commit suicide and self-injure, have anything to do with you? He had better go to death now, it would be a benefit to mankind, otherwise living would be a waste of air.
Is the man in the world dead? You have to be with him?
First of all, I really recommend you to see a psychologist. In addition to treating the psychological traumas suffered in the past few years,
has to see if there are any flaws in your personality. Why do you always attract scumbags?
In addition, in this relationship, did you suffer from Stockholm syndrome? Why are you infatuated with a man who continues to cause you pain?
Don’t dare to admit that you have always taken the initiative to hand him the knife, and you have given him the opportunity to hurt yourself again and again.
The first time he made you pregnant, after the abortion, you should stop the loss in time and see the true face of this man, instead of choosing to forgive unprincipledly.
You are not Avalokitesvara, you did not come to Purdue him.
I have seen many good-looking girls, many of whom are independent and outstanding, but when you start to fall in love, your IQ is zero instantly. Z1z
is especially the following two:
one is inferiority and lack of love. When encounters a little care and love, it is like a grass dying of thirst for a long time in the nectar, clinging to the love affair and refusing to let it go. In order to get the likes and recognition of the other party, I always want to work hard to please and cater.
There is another kind of that is flooded with maternal love. Always thinking about taking care of others and saving others. The more he meets his needs, the more his needs will increase. Until the end, I exceeded my ability and broke through my bottom line. The end of
's love to the end is that the scumbag exits perfectly and he is completely wounded. The biggest problem with
is still with me. Although
is not sure about your native family, what kind of past you have, and what you experienced in your first marriage, I can feel your low self-esteem.
may be in the bottom of my heart, you would think that is a woman like yourself, 33 years old, had a bad relationship, and had children, I am not worthy of love.
So, when someone shows you a little kindness, you will be lost.
You have materialized yourself. Not only devalued women, but also despised myself.
is so entangled with love, wanting to leave but reluctant to leave, this kind of ambivalence takes over your heart.
Although I am not a psychologist, as a friend, my advice to you is this:
accept yourself. Don't always indulge in self-blaming and self-compassion. There is no reason to talk about feelings. Don't blame yourself for being disappointed. The true acceptance is to believe that even if I am 33 years old, even if I have been married, had children, and been deceived, I still have the right to pursue happiness and I still deserve to be loved.
reflection. said to girls, please respect yourself, or love yourself, it seems a bit ugly, but I have to say. Don’t be too eager to be true to others, this is trueVery cheap. Whether it is your concern, the gifts you buy for him, the money you pay for him, or even your own body, the easier it is, the less it will be cherished. Don't let your tears flow in vain and feel wronged for nothing. Think about what is wrong with you and why the other party always bullies you unscrupulously.
Break up quickly and decisively. When was together, I ignored you and left you in the cold. After you left, I cried and cried for reconciliation. Don't listen to a word he said. Block all the contact information and move away. As for the money exchanges, don’t count them. The more chaotic and inseparable, you should help the poor. Don't even think of revenge. Otherwise, he will have 10,000 ways to disgust you.
Do your career well. There is no need to mention the importance of making money at . More importantly, keep yourself busy and don’t think about the sad past all day. don’t judge yourself by your past, youdon’tlive there anymore.
to meet new friends. expands his circle of friends and meets more outstanding people. It may not necessarily be a blind date and love, just to see, this world is big, whether single, married, divorced, there are always a group of people living cool, why can't I?
Finally, I wish you an early step out of the haze, Chengdu should be beautiful in autumn, don’t miss it!
BY President
today's interaction
do you have any good suggestions?
sense of security is not because he will never leave his self-confidence, but after he leaves, he can live a good self-confidence. In this world, no one can do without anyone. The fact is that after leaving, anyone can live, and generally live better.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-