In love, what is the reason why a man is hot and cold?

emotions are flowers awakened in memory, blooming silently in the night of the soul.

When a man is enthusiastic, he can send a hundred text messages a day. Once the dust settles or you start to have a good impression of him, he gets hot and cold. Yesterday we were very sticky and very nice, but today he did not reply to your text messages every ten minutes. The harder you press, the more panic he is. When the man suddenly becomes cold, what happened?

In fact, the way men think is completely different from that of women. If you want to understand what a man thinks in his heart, you need to understand the psychology of a man in love. Here are four reasons why men feel hot and cold.

1. A woman’s hot and cold is a risk of gains and losses, and a man’s hot and cold may be just a momentary emotion. I am enclosed in my own independent space. So sometimes men get hot and cold because they want to have a quiet space of their own.

Women may be puzzled by what men do, why don’t they tell them? Wouldn't it be okay to say it? At least you can relax yourself! When a woman finds that a man's mental state is not very good, she always tries to talk to the man, hoping that the man can tell her inner troubles. They think they are helping men, because when they are in a bad mood, they need such help. But in fact, men don't need such help at all. Women's repeated questioning will only make men more upset.

Why do men have to hide in caves? Because they need to concentrate all their attention to solve the problem as soon as possible. Men don't want to bother others with their problems, nor do they want to burden others. They just want to think quietly for themselves, and don't want anyone or anything to disturb them. Therefore, when men are in a bad mood, they choose to be silent, choose to close themselves, and hide in the cave to think about the problem. The man has a good reason to hide in the cave, but the problem is that the woman doesn't understand, so there is a situation that makes both parties feel unhappy. Men blame women for breaking into their enclosed spaces, women are dissatisfied with men's neglect of themselves.

When the men hid in the cave, almost all of their attention was focused on the problem they were thinking about, and there was no thought to deal with other things. If a woman tries to communicate with a man at this time, it will naturally not have a good effect. Even if a woman is asking about a man with concern, the man does not have the mind to answer the woman, and only responds to the woman with short "um", "good", etc. Men's answers obviously cannot satisfy women. When they find that men are always absent-minded, they will feel that they are not valued, and they may even think that men have other ties and no longer love themselves. As a result, the woman was alone on the side and sad, while the man had no idea what had happened.

Men hide in the cave to solve the problem. If they think of a solution to the problem in the cave, they will immediately go out of the cave and restore the enthusiasm for women in the past. However, if men have not been able to find a solution to the problem, then they will continue to close themselves, even if they are not silent, they will do things that they like and do not require other people to participate, and continue to indulge in their own world in order Get relief. This kind of spiritual relief is often very effective. After the spirit is relaxed, the thinking will become more active, which is very helpful for solving problems. In other words, men will only walk out of the cave after the problem is really solved.

A man hiding in a cave does not mean that his love for women has diminished, nor does it mean that he no longer loves women. These are just women's self-presumptions. The reason why men ignore women’s feelings and become absent-minded when talking with women is because their thinking is getting caught up in their own problems, and men’s thinking is one-way and cannot do two things at once. The negligence of women is also inevitable. Based on this, women are obviously asking for trouble if they believe that men do not love themselves. Arguing with men is even more irrational. Why not give men some time and let them be quiet in their caves?

When the man doesn't say a word, the woman can intuitively feel what happened to the man. Out of the woman's instinct, they start to ask the man, hoping that they can help the man. The original intention of the woman was good, but the wrong method was chosen.

If women really want to help men, they should let men go back to their caves, cooperate with men through the "cavern period", and help menGet out of the cave as soon as possible. Men and women deal with problems in different ways. Women cannot reason about men with their own ideas. The two cannot be equated. Men need to retreat, just like women need to talk. It is their nature that has been formed long ago and cannot be changed in a short time.

Although it is a natural reaction mechanism for men to hide in caves, men cannot completely ignore women's feelings. Of course, for men in caves, because their attention is almost entirely on their own problems, they seldom realize how they treat women, and they don’t know that they have caused harm to women. Women are born Sensitive and easy to be hurt. A man cannot just think about his own feelings and ignore his beloved. This is also very unfair to women. Men have the right to enter the cave and women have the right to listen. Only when men and women understand and respect each other can they reach more understanding and achieve better cooperation.

2. Either you are not sure about your feelings, or you are holding a playful mentality

I believe that many women will have such an experience: a man is always easy to be hot and cold at the first stage of acquaintance with him, and he is enthusiastic for a while It was like fire, cold for a while. So, the woman racked her brains to remember if she said something wrong or did something wrong. In fact, many men often encounter women who change their faces so quickly, and are tortured in pain. Why does a man or a woman become hot and cold? That is that you are not the only one for him or her.

In other words, men are hot and cold to women, either unsure of their feelings, or in a playful mentality. It's no shame that such a man suddenly evaporates from the world. Quan had a dream.

Many women like to confuse marriage and love, thinking that marriage is the ultimate goal of love, and love is a necessary process of marriage. But in fact, marriage and love are not the same thing at all, and there is even no necessary connection. The process for a man to determine his love partner is very simple. It is to engage in a relationship with a woman he likes. As for whether to marry in the future, some people have never considered. Women are more emotional. Once they have established a romantic relationship with a man, they will devote themselves wholeheartedly to the relationship. When the relationship develops to a certain level, they will naturally think of marriage.

In other words, the purpose of a woman's love is to get married, and the purpose of a man's love is to enjoy love, and will never fall in love because he wants to get married.

Whether a woman is willing to admit it or not, there is indeed a big difference between marriage and love. Whether it is a man or a woman, it should not only experience a relationship from love to marriage, but also more than just fall in love. Even if you are in love for the purpose of getting married, you may not be able to achieve a positive result. There can be several people in love, which is a multiple-choice question, but the marriage partner is a single-choice question. You can only choose the only one. While men choose women, women are actually choosing men. This is a two-way choice. Only when both men and women reach an agreement can love escalate to marriage.

Compared with marriage, love is much simpler. As long as there is love, you can establish a romantic relationship with the other party, but in a marriage relationship, suitability is often more important than love. We often encounter situations in which two people love each other deeply and get along very well when they are in love, but divorce soon after marriage. The reason for this is that they are only suitable people for love, not the most suitable marriage partner. In marriage, love alone is not enough. It also requires mutual tolerance, understanding, respect and support, otherwise the beautiful love will eventually die in trivial life.

Of course, everyone expresses their ideas in different ways, but no matter what they do, when a man becomes hot and cold, he is actually reminding you that he is not satisfied with the relationship between you, or does not love you anymore , He wants to leave you.

3. Men and women have different appeals to love.

Gu Long, who loves martial arts and women the most in his life, once commented incisively and thoroughly about men's views on women: no woman is sad, and there is a woman twittering. From a man's perspective, this sentence is true. A man is a very contradictory animal. When a person is alone, he has ample space for himself and can do whatever he wants. But after a long time like this, he will inevitably become lonely and helpless; and when he finds a woman, at the beginning My sweetness will soon change the taste of the two people, because once a woman takes care of a man too tightly, the man will decide that the self-space is reduced by the intimate relationship between men and women., The nature of a man's wild animals will make him feel depressed and bored under the suppression of this intimacy.

Men need intimacy space, and what men need more is self-space. If your love can suck up the air that men breathe freely, then it is tantamount to let the man you love live in a breathless prison and become love prisoner.

Love does not need to be caught too much, nor is it necessary to give too much. Too much love can sometimes suffocate people, which leads to men's resistance and the hot and cold. Love is like this. Love is the deep care and experience in life. It does not need to be deliberately involved. The more you want to grasp it, the easier it is to become a shackle. Love needs to breathe freely. Whether it is "soft grinding" or "hard bubble", it is not the form that love should have.

4. Indifferent in front of outsiders, men's self-esteem

Men are afraid of others knowing his attention to women, so they are cold. In fact, men often change their attitudes due to their different positions. Generally speaking, men are reluctant to show affection to their beloved woman in public or in front of others, because they care about how others look at him. A report of

surveying unmarried women about their ideal male conditions shows that “gentleness” is the top priority. In fact, it is too difficult for men to always be gentle. Because most men don’t think that gentleness is a manifestation of masculinity. Although gentle men have increased in recent years, the idea that gentleness is a cowardly concept is still deeply rooted in the hearts of the people. Therefore, most men who care about society do not Willing to show their thoughtfulness and tenderness in front of others. This kind of psychology of

, in some respects, is peculiar to Eastern men, because in European upper-class society, gentleness is regarded as a condition for traditional gentlemen. From the perspective of their society, kissing in front of people, couples going to a banquet at the same time, etc., are all ordinary things. Although Eastern society has gradually changed, the gentle behavior towards women in public is still not universally accepted, and there are even male chauvinists who insist that "men must be majestic in public."

Therefore, a husband who is unwilling to walk with you near home, travels and arrives in a strange place, and may hold hands with you; a husband who is usually gentle like a cat, once a friend arrives at home, he may be as dictatorial as a tyrant . These are all defensive instincts to maintain his male dignity. But does it have to be like a man? Let's leave it alone, at least they themselves believe in it.

The smartest thing to do when your man is indifferent to you in front of others is to laugh it off, because blaming him will only trouble him.

Fifth, when you are pursuing a woman, you are hot and cold, and you can get you

by denying you. When facing men, women are insecure. Of course, this is the reason for women's "sexual weakness". Whenever a woman enters into a relationship, she needs a man's affirmation and encouragement at all times. If the lover no longer puts praise on her lips every day, the woman will panic from the bottom of her heart... The man who the woman thinks can't catch it must be the man who treats her hot and cold. A man who wants to torture a woman often means: not "sure" of her. For such a woman, the most straightforward and simple way to make her question her is to be hot and cold to her, so as to arouse her interest and concern for her.

So as long as we understand the psychology of men, we can know "why they are hot and cold". If it is because we are pressing too quickly, then we should adjust the relationship reasonably and keep a proper distance. But remember: if he turns a blind eye to your efforts and steps your love on the soles of his feet, then he is not worthy of your wholehearted love. In the face of such men, we should stop losses in time and love those who are worthy.

The relationship between men and women is perhaps the most wonderful social relationship in the world. For thousands of years, men and women have been trying to figure out and understand each other in the long history, and it continues to this day. People often say "a woman's heart, a needle on the bottom of the sea", but in fact, a man's heart is harder to see. A man is a complicated animal, which is never understood. In the eyes of different women, men are different.

Zhang Xiaoxian said: "A man is sometimes hard to understand. Sometimes he is like a child with two rows of snot, you want to caress him; sometimes he is like a drooling beast, you want to slap him twice."

Sanmao said: "80% of men have only two things in their subconscious minds-self-esteem and vanity."

Then, in your eyes, what is a man like?What about? You may think that this man is "like this", but when you meet another man, you will think that he is "like this."

Actually, you can't figure out what a man is like. Women who don’t understand men often suffer. In life, many women become vassals and bullies of men because they cannot see the true face of men.

But, "How difficult it is to understand a man", women often sigh like this.