Introduction We often say that falling in love is a matter of two people, but getting married is a matter of two families, and all aspects need to be taken into account. When facing major marriage events, sometimes this is true. The two of them are obviously in love, but when the

Introduction

We often say that falling in love is a matter for two people, but getting married is a matter for two families, and all aspects need to be taken into account. When facing major marriage events, sometimes this is true. The two of them are obviously in love, but when they finally get married and spend the rest of their lives together, they choose to break up because of the other family.

Xiaotao and his girlfriend have a good relationship, but after learning about her girlfriend's family situation, his mother said something and he chose to break up.

From Xiaotao’s self-report:

I am Xiaotao, I am 28 years old this year. After graduating from college, I stayed in a big city to work and rented a house by myself. At the beginning, the monthly salary was only about 3,000. Half a year later, I changed my job and my monthly salary reached 5,000. At that time, in order to celebrate my new job, I asked my friends to come out and gather.

When my friend came over, he brought a girl. When I saw her, I fell in love with her at first sight. Since that meal, I thought of her from time to time, but I only knew that her name was Xiaoyu and there was no contact information, so I asked my friend and asked for contact information from my friend. After all, I met once, and I added her on WeChat, but she did not refuse.

, but when I chatted with her, I typed more than a dozen words, she replied briefly one or two words. Because she and my friend worked in the same company, I often asked my friend to have dinner and asked her to bring her with me. My friend also understood my little thoughts.

just went through this. Xiaoyu and I finally became friends. Later, we pursued her. But she first rejected me, but I didn't give up. It took me a year to Xiaoyu to agree to be my girlfriend. During the year I pursued her, I also went to the house she rented. I thought the house she rented was in the community, but I didn't expect that the house she rented was in the urban village, with only a single room. According to her, it cost 400 yuan a month. At that time, I knew that her monthly salary was much higher than mine, so I should rent a better house, but she didn't. I knew there must be a reason for this.

Later, after we became lovers, I realized that her difficulty was not easy. I felt sorry for her, so I thought to let her live better, so I asked her to move in with me, because the house I rented was in the community and was better than the house she lived in, but she refused. If she didn't move in, I moved to her and rented a single room, which she did not object.

so we had a relationship for two years, and my family started urging us to get married. My parents also knew that I had a girlfriend, and I always wanted to take her back to see my parents, but she did not agree. Instead, she wanted to take me to her house. This is naturally a good thing for me. In this way, I can take my future father-in-law and mother-in-law, and our marriage will be mostly halfway.

Before going to her house, I told me the news. My mother told me on the phone what gifts should be prepared. I said impatiently, "Mom, I understand." Just as I was preparing the gift, Xiaoyu wanted to talk to me. That day at Xiaoyu's house, Xiaoyu said, "Before I go to my house, there are some things, I want to explain them clearly to you, and you will decide whether to go to my house." I said, "What's the matter?" Xiaoyu said, "About some things at my house."

Actually, I really don't know much about Xiaoyu's family. I asked Xiaoyu once, but Xiaoyu didn't say that time. I have never asked again since then. I didn't expect Xiaoyu to tell me now, so I began to listen to Xiaoyu carefully.

"My father died of illness in his early years. After my father passed away, my mother did not marry again. Instead, she took on the responsibility of my father, took care of my grandparents, and raised my brother and I. I told you before that my family is in the countryside and the family is not in good condition. In order to support our siblings to go to school, my mother went to work outside the country. My grandparents took care of my brother and I. My mother would not come back during the Chinese New Year. She just wanted to earn more money. I wanted to give up going to college, but my mother didn't let her go to school with peace of mind and didn't have to worry about anything else."

Xiaoyu was talking, tears flowed down. I handed her a tissue. She wiped her tears and said, "That's how she provided me with college. After graduation, I found a good job. My monthly salary gradually reached 7,000. At this time, my brother also got into college. The tuition and living expenses in a year were about 20,000 yuan. My mother had to go home because she had to take care of her elderly grandparents and her health. The family's income decreased, so I took the initiative to take care of my younger brother's college entrance examination, and my mother did some small work near the home to subsidize the family income. I would also make some money back. My younger brother worked very hard and knew that this family was not easy. After going to college, he would also do part-time jobs to do living expenses, which would reduce my burden. Due to family reasons, I have never been in a relationship. One is that I don't want to drag others down, and the other is that I want to earn more money to improve my family's situation. "

After listening to Xiaoyu's words, I felt that Xiaoyu was a strong girl, and I should cherish her more. I said, "I want to go to your house to have a look. "Xiaoyu said: "Okay. "The next day, I prepared a gift and bought a plane ticket. A few days later, I followed Xiaoyu to her house and met Xiaoyu's mother and Xiaoyu's grandparents. Xiaoyu's house was a two-story building built in early years. The house was cleaned up by Xiaoyu's mother, and Xiaoyu's family was also very enthusiastic about me.

I stayed at Xiaoyu's house for two days. When I left, Xiaoyu's mother gave me 500 yuan, but I refused, but Xiaoyu asked me to take it, so I had to take it. After getting on the bus, I gave Xiaoyu 500 yuan to Xiaoyu. Xiaoyu said: "This is my mother's wish." "When I returned to the city where I worked, Xiaoyu was busy going to work, and I went home. I originally wanted to take Xiaoyu home with me, but Xiaoyu couldn't take a leave because of work, so I went home to see my parents and others first. When I got home, my mother asked me how I went to Xiaoyu's house, and I said, "Their whole family liked me very much. "My mother said, "Their family is in a state of mind. I called you to ask, but you didn't tell me either. "I said: "Xiaoyu's family is a bit special. Her father has passed away for many years. Her mother is in charge of the family. She has a younger brother who is in college. But now she is the pillar of the family, so she pays for her younger brother's tuition and living expenses. "After hearing this, my mother frowned and said, "This marriage cannot be obtained. ”

I asked: “Why? "My mother said: "Xiaoyu paid for her younger brother's college and had to pay for her family. Her salary would be divided into three parts. If you get married, it means that most of her money might be paid for her mother's family. Your family can only rely on your own salary to support her. And can you guarantee that she will pay for her younger brother to buy a house or get married after she goes to college? After all, her mother will not be able to provide money to help her son by then, so she can only be the sister helper, her grandparents, and her mother. After you get married, you need to take care of your brother-in-law before you can get back to your ability, but can your ability to make money support their family? Getting married is not just about the two of you, but also about the two families. If you think about it yourself, whether you can afford it, I just suggest it. "

After listening to what my mother said, I thought for a long time. I felt that my mother was right. If Xiaoyu and I got married, I might live a happy life, but this marriage was full of crisis. Unexpectedly, when I faced reality, I became timid. Xiaoyu and I promised to give her happiness, but I found that I couldn't do it.

After I returned from home, I went to see Xiaoyu, and the first sentence I said was "Let's break up." "Xiaoyu seemed to have expected it, and she said: "Although I know you will make such a choice, I still want to have some expectations. Thank you for your care for me over the past two years. "I said, "I'm sorry." "At the moment I turned around, I heard Xiaoyu's crying. My heart hurts, but I became an escaper and dared not face it. I finally chose to escape from this city because I was afraid of seeing Xiaoyu again.

Mo Ranhuanchen said:

Xiaotao finally let Xiaoyu down. Xiaoyu is a good girl. She has supported a home, but in Xiaotao's mother's eyes, she may feel that Xiaoyu will become a "brother-supporting demon" in the future. Coupled with the situation at Xiaoyu's home, this is also the reason for her opposition. Her opposition is based on realistic considerations.

If Xiaotao chose Xiaoyu and did not let go, after the two got married, Xiaoyu would definitely still be in charge of her parents' home, which means that the money they earned would be taken to supplement her parents' home by Xiaoyu. Xiaotao may think it is nothing in a short time, but over time, the couple will have conflicts and may even divorce.

Therefore, Xiaotao's choice is to be indifferent, but when love has time, it is not possible to win in the face of reality, it will also lose to reality. For marriage events, parents are experienced people after all, so they should still listen to their opinions.

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