psychology talks about
All problems
Finally, it is a problem of relationship
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The birth of a child,
is the first hurdle after marriage.
The birth of a child has begun to complicated the relationship between men and women. Not all men will have their own children and will have natural fatherly love and are willing to spend more time and energy on their children. For men, children mean the continuation of genes and more importantly, they are more authoritative in marriage. Therefore, it is easy for men to talk about their children if they like them. As for the company of the child's growth, his energy is limited.
Many women unconsciously sigh that men have changed too much before and after marriage. Everything is really good before marriage. After marriage, they can turn all their previous promises back, and sometimes they will even be jealous of their children. Men usually rationally believe that children are independent individuals and cannot interfere with the emotional world of couples. In the hearts of most women, when they have children, their husbands should be re-arranged.
In the consultation, some women talked about struggling to keep a marriage for their children. Children are the last trace of connection with their husbands. They even expressed that if there were no children, she would have chosen to divorce many years ago. The reason why I couldn't bear it was that the child got married last month. The woman shouted in pain at the scene, "I won't tolerate you anymore."
In the marriage relationship, the parent-child relationship is always after the marriage relationship sequence. The so-called crystallization of love is what it means. After a woman gave birth, it was the first time she re-examined her marriage. She looked at her husband's reaction and her in-laws' reaction, and gave her marriage a new score. This is the first test of marriage, and it is naturally a hurdle. However, a woman's disheartened heart will always go through a long psychological struggle. There is a very obvious critical point among them, that is, her closeness with her children. Women will be infinitely close to their children when their emotions are hit. That's why there is an argument like "I have been enduring it for the sake of my child."
What kind of family is happy? The core is that dad loves mom, mom loves dad. Because only two people in love can continuously heat the small family and make a small family warm. If the birth of a child causes the originally balanced relationship to be unbalanced, it is a hurdle for marriage.
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Changes in intimacy
is the most core change in marriage.
We divide the changes in intimate relationships into two types, one is the internal emotional changes, and the other is the external seeking of emotions.
90% of people who enter marriage have this feeling. The partner of the marriage does not seem to be what I imagined. It is difficult to communicate in many details and even some major decisions. What I want to complain about the other person’s family background seems to have stepped on the idea that I most disliked, my husband’s family background is not good, and my wife’s family relationship is too complicated. To sum up, I am not satisfied with it wherever I am.
The momentum that the two of them had to overcome all difficulties and had to come together became the medicine for regret in the medicine box.
Don’t live together, without the infiltration of food, rice, oil and salt, you won’t understand the difficulty of marriage. New situations, new changes and new decisions that continue to appear in marriage test two people at all times. It is naturally a false proposition that entering marriage can be done once and for all. ,
Many people choose to seek inwardly. My husband cannot communicate and cannot fully understand me. It is useless to say that, so I will say less and become a silent person in marriage; or I am complaining about myself, complaining about the world, tears flowing constantly, and I always feel that I am a miserable person.There are also some people who think that you make me unhappy and I won’t let you have a good time. I just want to fight with you to the end, I just want to make a fuss and let you listen to me. Then you will be furious when you encounter problems. When you encounter problems, you must solve them immediately. You must give a clear explanation. No matter what kind of internal desire is, it will cause the marriage to be trapped in internal friction and make the men and women in the marriage more and more tired.
Some tired men and women will be free from marriage. Men want to use the most direct way to solve the problems in marriage. They are stubborn and have no better way to adjust. All they can think of is to change the swimming pool, but they do not admit that they can't swim. In the mentality of women, I am a victim. I worked hard to change the men around me again and again, and worked hard to be a wife, but he did not change anything, and the children ignored me and there was domestic violence to me. So I chose to cheat in a desperate situation. I was actually forced to make a series of changes, including emotional outward movement.
Choose a person to enter a marriage and be willing to express your inner dissatisfaction and calm your inner turmoil through communication. This requires running-in and cooperation between husband and wife, and requires dedication and adjustment based on love, and find a comfortable area for marriage. This is what we are talking about managing marriage. A husband and wife are loving, and only with kindness can there be love. It requires constant adjustment to complete this journey.
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Handle your relationship with yourself well and is the background color of a happy marriage.
In consultation, many women are often painful and helpless when they encounter a bad marriage. When they are helpless, they often choose very extreme ways to face their marriage.
There was a woman who had a fierce quarrel with her husband. Her husband wanted to drive out the house. She lay silently under the car while she knew her husband was going to drive out, resulting in a serious car accident and a seven-centimeter hole was scratched on her left face. During the consultation, although the wound had healed, a long scar remained on the left face forever, which was shocking. There was another lady who had an argument with her husband and was about to jump off the building at midnight and didn't want to live anymore.
Independent individuals should not give up their lives for anyone.
A woman is still an independent individual after getting married and will not rely on anyone just because of marriage, especially when she encounters emotional ups and downs. She cannot lose herself just because she has conflicts or bonds with her partner. The most unacceptable thing is to threaten one's own life. What we are talking about here cannot lose ourselves. The first thing we need to take ourselves, especially our lives seriously. After all, our body and hair are the ones that we receive from our parents.
There are only three things in the world, God’s affairs, other people’s affairs, and one’s affairs. Ultimately, only by maintaining a complete self and living our own wonderful life can we gain in intimate relationships. Only by living as yourself can marriage be happy.
A happy marriage is warm and harmonious, it has to go through various tests and reconcile with life. You can also talk about the second and third aspects of a happy marriage life in the comment section. #Emotional Comments Awards# #Marriage and Love Manual# #No. 1 Worry Repair Hall# #Marriage Emotional Consultation Room# Focus on the emotional field for ten years. If you encounter emotional difficulties, marriage crisis, and don’t know how to recover and repair it, click on my avatar, follow and [Private Message], let’s talk and teach you how to deal with
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