That day, I saw a man yelling at a woman, very loud, hysterical, afraid that the people passing by would not see him majestic, so I waved his fists on the woman's head and waved it. Fortunately, I didn't go down, otherwise the woman would have fallen down long ago.

That day passed by a shop and saw a man yelling at a woman, very loud, hysterical, afraid that the people passing by would not see him majestic, so he waved his fists on the woman's head and waved his fists. Fortunately, he didn't go down, otherwise the woman would have fallen down long ago.

The woman wanted to say a few words, but was suppressed by his roar, so she stopped talking and let him perform.

I looked at that woman, and she didn't seem to be much cowardly, but she was just indifferent, with a cold expression and a cold reaction. Maybe she was used to it.

I frowned and passed by them, and suddenly a thought flashed through me: rush over, punch the man hard, and then run away.

I looked at the man's body and then at the woman's reaction. I guess I couldn't win, and the possibility of being chased was 99%.

So I became timid, afraid of pain, and embarrassed by being beaten. I ignored it and left.

may be another point. A woman has no sense of resistance, which makes me feel that she is asking for her own fault. I don’t know what the reason for

is. It is said that human sadness and joy are not connected, but I didn’t want to connect at that time. The cause and effect of life are obtained from my own destiny.

Stephen Zweig said a passage:

"It took me many years to understand that even the continuous upgrading and strengthening of torture, persecution and loneliness will not destroy a person. This is the case in all major things in life. Individuals gain this kind of understanding, not through other people's experience, but can only be obtained from their own destiny."

The tests that destiny gives to everyone are more or less the same, such as experiencing grievances, blows, doubts, confusion, failure, etc.

But in these tests, what everyone learns is different.

During the summer vacation, my daughter experienced something.

Every year, our county will hold a storytelling and speech competition. This year, my daughter has passed the hurdles and rushed to the finals and won the first place in the county. According to convention, she will represent the whole county in the city to participate in the competitions in the city.

It is logical that if she gets first, she will be very happy. But while she was happy, she was more self-doubted.

Because of this activity, I am organizing it, so it is natural that for anyone, there will be some common sense of opinion.

After getting the first place that day, she kept asking me, mom, classmate said I was in a relationship, tell me honestly, with my ability, can I really get the first place?

Looking at her innocent eyes, I told her that opportunities may not be equal to everyone, nor can they be equal. But if the opportunity is given to you and you don’t have the strength, the school will not recommend you because it will embarrass the school. If you do not have the ability in this aspect, your mother will not cultivate and encourage you from this aspect. It is to cause you to suffer and embarrass me. Therefore, you must believe in yourself.

She was half-believing and half-doubted, but still couldn't be sure.

Until I participated in the city's competition and won the first place in the city, I saw the light in her eyes.

She said that when she was halfway through, she found a judge who slapped the table and showed a sure smile on his face. She seemed to say to the judge next to her, "That's right, this is the feeling, this is the story."

She knew that she had a chance.

Finally, each judge gave her the highest score in the whole game and gave her a high evaluation, saying that she did not expect that the last appearance would be a dark horse.

She ran downstairs happily to meet us. At that moment, she could see that she felt relieved, and the doubts and confusion she had endured before dissipated.

We estimate that she can go to provincial competitions, after all, they are all professional judges, representing a certain authority.

However, there were unexpected situations in the world, and it was not her who finally went to the province to compete.

She was happy at first, feeling that she didn't have to struggle anymore. Working hard is hard, and the pressure is also uncomfortable.

When she calmed down, she asked me over and over again, Mom, what's the use of saying I got the first place? Are all the judges' words false?

She began to doubt herself again.

I was actually not calm inside. I also asked the reasons why and expressed my doubts normally and reasonably. The answer was of course the official. I didn’t want to explore this reason in depth. I was afraid that my situation would be too small and I would not explain it well. After all, the overall situation has been decided, so I can only find a way to comfort her.

In the face of these, we should have emotions, we should have indignation, we should also have crying and complaining, and we should have the sense of ritual after being wronged.

If there is no, she will not be a normal child.

Although I have a turmoil in my heart, I am an adult after all. I will slowly analyze it with her when she calms down.

First, you have no problem, you can't go to provincial competitions, it's not your problem, the unfamiliar judges' evaluation of you is true and credible, and it comes from the heart. Your ability has not disappeared because you were not selected to compete in the province. It is still on you and cannot escape.

Second, there is no absolute fairness in this world. This is reality and it is normal. Anyone may encounter it. I will encounter it when I am studying, and I will encounter it in my future work. What is fair is that we can choose to face unfair attitudes, is we giving up and giving up? Or should we continue to be braver as we setbacks? The choice is up to you.

Third. After walking along the way, although you haven’t reached a bigger stage, you still gain a lot.

You know how to work hard. One thing, either you don’t agree. If you agree, you have to do your best. I memorize the manuscript over and over again. No matter how late I finish my homework after school, I must go through it five times. On the way to school, I will have to play and remember it repeatedly on weekends, just to be familiar with it, and not panic when I go on stage and forget the words. Dad takes guidance, teaches how to speak, and uses breath. He goes over and over in front of professional teachers, guides one by one, listens to the recording and finds feelings, watches the contestant video... In this process, you did not complain about hardship or fatigue. The minute on stage is the result of the effort off stage. Others can't see the efforts behind you, but you understand that no matter how many people question you, you should not question your own efforts. There is no need to explain, and there is no need to underestimate yourself.

You have gained more love. When competing in the city, your school, your teachers, and your support team, makeup artist, cheering stylist, and costume stylist... As long as you work hard, no matter whether you succeed or fail, which of them can not love you?

More importantly, I learned to face setbacks. Just as your daughter-in-law comforts you, there is no grievance in life, a person’s pattern and mind are supported by grievances. What you swallow must be an open-minded mind and calm wisdom.

is not just about tutoring her, but actually tutoring myself. Adults’ understanding is nothing more than some truths. Theoretical guidance can only be theoretical guidance. After all, "the young man's boat is still small, and the troubles of the young man are big storms." Children must experience it themselves to grow up by themselves, so as to avoid many unnecessary disappointments and unnecessary anger.

For her, what is more important is the experience these twists and turns bring her. As mentioned earlier, what kind of cognition does people gain is never through other people's experience, but can only be obtained from their own destiny.

The resilience of individual life can only be continuously explored while growing up. Others can never replace it. It is like eating and sleeping, and can only be done by yourself. Only by experience can people become less narrow-minded.

only hopes that she will suffer in the future and can repeat and memorize a relatively positive model to deal with it: first accept the result and understand that it is normal to be wronged; then know how to vent in time, and you cannot hold it in, and you cannot save this step; then objectively analyze yourself and review yourself; then, dig out positive things from the negative to motivate yourself and continue to move forward.

Let me talk about something I have experienced, and I have suffered a little injury recently. The

thing is actually nothing, because it can be accomplished sooner or later. Although I am not young, I am not too old and not so urgent. Let's wait slowly. If things fail, we can figure it out.

Naturally, this time it did not work.

Since the result is acceptable, what is the point that triggers your emotions?

pair is something presented in this process that hurts me a little. It is a sense of difference. If the gap is appropriate and gentle, then there may not be much emotion.

But that very clear sense of abandonment made me confused for a moment, which made me feel serious self-doubt. How bad is I? When you start to question yourself and then attack yourself, is it because you have traits you don’t realize that you are disgusted?

I thought about it but couldn't figure it out. My heart was also rushing and rising, and I couldn't calm down for a while.

Aware of his emotions and adopts the same process to digest himself:

Accept-expression--self-review--get positive resources from the negative.

I expressed my feelings and vented my emotions within the safe range. I really can't hold it in my hands, I have to vent it. I have to knock on the blackboard and draw the key points. I have to hold it in my hands.

After get off work, he ran for five kilometers, and heart rate soared and then fell back. It was very satisfying. He went home and took a long, long hot bath. He analyzed and reviewed himself objectively and calmly.

first, I am not perfect, not that excellent, but definitely not that bad either. There are still people who like me, so there is no need to deny myself like this.

Second, my work is worthy of my conscience, and my character is worthy of others' kindness and trust in me, and there is nothing to blame myself.

Third, don’t always think about getting the answer from the outside world “Can I do it?”. You can only hold on if you have to rely on everyone to praise you, that is definitely not possible.

Fourth, you have your resilience. No matter what you experience, you can split a soul from your body. Standing at a high place and looking down on all this, you know, many sad things that make people feel bad, look at them in a long time line, are not a problem. How big a problem can I have when I finally go to

?

After the review, I slept with peace of mind. The next day, the sun shone through the window and life became wider.

What heals me the most is "Everything for My Use" spoken by Mr. Yi, I have listened to it no less than five times.

She talked about Zhuangzi 's "things but not things" that means dominating all things without being dominated by all things; she talked about how to use the weaknesses of human nature for me, such as fear, depression, jealousy, etc., and how to transform these negative energy into resources I use, and said that the clear wind, bright moon, mountains, rivers, scenery, sun, moon and stars can all be used by me. When it comes to sunshine, rain and dew nourishing people, those wounds and pain may not be our available resources...

From these negative perceptions, I also gained positive things.

For example, moral support, objective evaluation, sincere care, more experience, more experience, more firmness to be yourself, more tempering in your heart, and stronger resilience, no matter how east, west, south and north winds.

Life is like a river, and there is no boat to cross in it.

You are both a boatman and a boatman. Whether you are struggling to cross this surging river, or whether the boat sinks into the abyss and cannot save yourself, it all depends on ourselves.
The decision of what you get from your own destiny is always in your own hands.

The beauty of life has always been open-minded and brave, with persistence, doubts, thinking, and action.

says so much, but to put it simply, you must think about everything and learn to comfort yourself. After all, life is difficult, and you can blame others, don’t blame yourself, hahahahahaha...