Some time ago, a wedding in Fuyang, Anhui became a hot search. In the video of
, the bride is filled with emotion when she looks at the dowry prepared by her mother's family.
She said that she and her husband had been engaged a long time ago, but the negotiations almost broke down due to the issue of the bride price. After
, both parties took a step back to promote the wedding that day.
The bride said that the bride price is not important, and what she wants is actually an attitude of her in-laws.
Afterwards, my mother-in-law gave her 200,000 yuan in bride gifts, but instead gave her 200,000 yuan in dowry to run her own small family.
"This is the sense of security given by my mother's family!" On this end, the bride is sharing her happiness. On the other side of
, the comment area is full of controversy.
Someone mocked her insanely:
"The bride is too cheap, and the in-laws only say that my son is so capable, but he pays it too much, which shows how outstanding my son is!"
Someone is worried about the future relationship of the young couple:
"The couple quarreled in the future, and this is a big knot, and they will talk about it every time they quarrel."
Some people maliciously speculated:
"When I'm rushing up like this, I'm not pregnant, right?"
Every word is so dazzling, as if I have foresaw the bride's "tragic" married life:
1 She is like this, she will definitely be angry after marrying, and life will definitely be unhappy.
In fact, happiness is a very subjective feeling.
is like a person who drinks water and knows the temperature and heat.
If you use your own experience to randomly evaluate other people's lives, it is tantamount to a glimpse of the leopard.
Most of the time, your light words will inadvertently disturb others' happiness.
The lower the level
The more biased
Italian painter Modigliani is a world-renowned artistic genius. But most of the characters he wrote have eyes, even one eye.
He said:
"The biggest bad habit of a person is that both eyes are used to stare at others and the outside world, and it is difficult to check yourself.
" Therefore, we should observe the world around us with one eye and examine ourselves with the other eye. "
People with low levels can only see the small place they see, and are used to using their own cognition to evaluate other people's lives.
but they don't know that the more they evaluate, the narrower they are.
Ms. Wu from Henan married a man with a second marriage and a child without hesitation because of love. She had never been a mother before, but she fell in love with her son who was not related by blood at first sight.
Not long after marriage, her husband could not contact her, so she could only live with her child at her parents' home.
Until her son was in the fifth grade, the marriage came to an end.
But love was not over.
But love was not over.
5
She still visits the child regularly, takes the child to buy clothes, and picks up the child to live.
One day, because of the cooling down, she gave the child thick clothes and snacks and fruits.
Shift the school fence, her son shyly stuffed her a note, then turned around and ran away, disappearing into the vast night.
When she opened the note, the above sentence made people cry:
"Mom, I miss you."
Simple 4 words, but it is the warm and sincere heart of a child.
Ms. Wu was very moved:
"I didn't expect that our child would hand out a note. Although the words were written very sloppy, I knew he must have written it in a hurry.
"I think sometimes love has nothing to do with blood relationship. I raised him for 10 years, and he called me "Mom" for 10 years. "
However, this warm scene still cannot stop some people's prejudice.
"The couple halfway through are all thieves, let alone the children, how can they be sincere to the stepmother? "
" is not a real mother, no matter how much you give, it will be useless. The child will definitely be unfilial when he grows up. "
There is a saying in "Cognitive Breakthrough":
" When a person's mind has formed a certain preset position, or tends to get a certain result, it is easier to unknowingly deviate from fairness while searching for evidence. "
So, in the eyes of some people, stepmothers must be vicious. No matter how much they pay, it will be useless if they don't have blood relationships...
The world is big, and there is never a shortage of people who express their opinions.
But opinions are not prejudice.
The more things you can't stand, the deeper the prejudice.
All self-righteous bias See, it is likely that the level is too low.
Only by constantly breaking the views and updating the cognition can we see the sun.
High-level people
Know how to be silent at the right time
There is a question on Zhihu: "What do people who have seen the world look like?
There is a very praiseworthy answer among them:
"People who have truly seen the world have always been warm and know that the world is not just height, not a one-dimensional line, but an infinite three-dimensional world. They will tolerate the differences of everyone and fully understand every existence."
There are always some people in life who are used to looking at others with malicious and speculative eyes:
When you see someone sharing travel photos in your circle of friends, you feel that this person is "pretending";
When you see a person's weight exceeds the standard, you feel that this person's life is uncontrollable;
When you see a young girl buying a car and a house, you feel that there is something wrong with her life...
In fact, people at truly high levels know how to respect others.
If you can’t empathize, keeping silent is the greatest kindness.
Jinhuan's mother in the TV series " Please answer 1988" is a woman who looks very popular and carefree. Every time I stand at the door of my house and call my son to go home for dinner, I have the style of being a one-man and being a ten thousand men.
Zhenghuan's family lived the poorest life in the alley before, but after their days were well, they would still protect others' decency.
Deshan Mom is struggling because her husband guarantees to borrow money for others , and her family life is very difficult.
In order to solve the difficulties of Deoksun's family, Junghwan's mother gave them pocket money in the name of Paula who was studying at Seoul University , who could give Junghwan a tutor.
Later, life was really sad, Deshan's mother wanted to borrow money from Zhenghuan's mother. But when it comes to the words, I can't say them.
Zhenghuan's mother saw her dilemma and did not ask much.
In the name of sending potatoes, he quietly put the money in the basket containing the potatoes.
There is a saying that goes:
"The so-called high emotional intelligence is never as simple as speaking, but knowing how to shut up. Put the part you see through in your stomach and protect others' face."
In life, everyone has their own difficulties and their own self-esteem. Not everyone is willing to show the suffering to others.
Governor keeps his word, see through it and don’t say it out loud.
retaining the last layer of window paper is the consciousness that adults should have.
Does not evaluate other people's choices
is basic respect
Some people say that there are no two leaves in the world that are exactly the same.
Similarly, everyone has their own life experience. The right to choose the intersection of life is only in everyone's own hands.
Some time ago, after Zhang Quan, a returnee, worked as an industry researcher in a financial company for a period of time, he resigned and became a waste recycling worker.
Give up a stable large enterprise and come to a "tired and hard" position. Zhang Quan explained that this was his own choice:
"The waste recycling industry is particularly unpopular, and there are very few people paying attention to it, but it contains huge opportunities and business opportunities."
But many people call it a waste of educational resources and even call it unfilial.
"Did your parents spend so much money to train you? Did you ask you to pick up rags?"
such voice may never stop in Zhang Quan's ears, but he always firmly insisted on his choice.
After all, who stipulates that a graduate from a prestigious university cannot be a garbage collector?
Thinking of Yuan Longping's graduation from high school, his family suggested that he choose a good major close to home, but he applied to Southwest Agricultural College and was determined to "be a farmer."
No one around me understands it. Is it hard to give up a college student just to go home and farm?
Yuan Longping was very determined: "Eating is the top priority."
We all know what happened later.
If Yuan Lao also followed other people's advice and chose to compromise, who was the loss?
The world of adults is nothing more than choosing first and then enduring.
Bystanders may disagree, but at least they must maintain respect.
Most of the time, you think the unreasonable choice is behind it.
As Yishu said:
"Everyone says another person, the truth is always a basket of things. A lamp that shines on others, but cannot shines on yourself."
Instead of commenting on other people's lives with a self-righteous attitude, it is better to focus on your own life.
written at the end
Kant once said :
"I respect any independent soul. Although I do not recognize some, I can understand them as much as possible."
When you let go of your prejudice, you can feel your insignificance.
When you remain silent, your heart is considered open.
Only when you learn to respect will you see a broader world.
May we be a warm person, wherever we see, there is beauty, and wherever we go, there is sunshine.
This article is reprinted from the WeChat public account: Guoxueyike (ID: guoxueyike). Source of this article: Internet. If there is any infringement, please contact us to delete it.
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