How to get along with scumbags?
This seems to be a very nonsensical topic. Everyone knows that he is a scumbag. If he doesn’t take a taxi, he still has to get along with him?
is of course the best strategy.
However, students who can run away cannot use this article, and some other students, even though they know that the other party is the wrong person, can't give up for a while.
To be honest, it’s not entirely your fault. After all, scumbags, including scumbags, do have some special charm.
You are not really stupid or have a tendency to be abused. You know that he is still a scumbag, but you are only the charming part of him.
is just that you haven't seen through it, the hidden connection between them "charming" and "scratch".
What is the bad thing about scumbags?
If you summarize the logic behind their behavior, there are only a few:
Extreme Self-.
is completely self-centered, feeling that you are above everything else, and along with your own feelings and needs are above everything else.
So when you fall in love with a scumbag, you seem to have to revolve around him forever. He will whine at what you call and do everything that hurts you.
It is obvious that he cheated on him, but he insisted on saying that you are not beautiful enough and gentle enough, making him feel no new. It is obviously he who attacks you, but you have to blame you for angering him first.
Anyway, his feelings are always higher than yours, and his mistakes will be blamed for yours in the end.
almost does not have a moral bottom line .
They only look at the results when they do things. When they pick up girls, they will snatch their friends’ girlfriends, and they will also snatch their girlfriends’ girlfriends.
It seems that as long as he likes this girl, no matter who the other party is, no matter what kind of public opinion pressure he has to bear when hooking up with this girl, he doesn't care.
can do anything to achieve its goal.
Finally, He hurts you without any mercy.
It is said that people's hearts are full of flesh. If you hurt the people who love you, will your conscience hurt a little, right?
A real scumbag has no conscience. You love him to die and suffer for him. He doesn't care at all - maybe he will feel a little secretly happy.
For example, when PUA was revealed online, there was a screenshot:
trampled others' love for him and played with it freely.
This is the logic behind the behavior of scumbags, and it has also been summarized by psychologists as "dark personality triangle":
narcissism, Machiavelli (trampling on morality, being ruthless, and using any means to achieve your goals), and a cold and cruel, psychopathic morbidity that is irresponsible and empathetic. The three characteristics of
are dangerous enough to pick up any of them. The ultimate of all three is Hitler, as well as big boss-level villains such as Voldemort, Joker, and Thanos in movies and TV series.
However, these are obviously some bad and bad characteristics that make people avoid when thinking about it. What does it have to do with "charming"?
Think carefully, is it possible for these qualities to lead to some kind of achievement, charm, and confusion?
The most intuitive thing is that narcissistic people generally care about their external image and are more willing to show themselves in front of others. This has already made scumbags win at the starting line.
They use any means to achieve their goals, so when chasing you, they often do everything they can to create a strong, emotional roller coaster experience for you.
When necessary, their lying will not change their faces and their hearts will not be beating, without any guilt or shame, and without any flaws.
Say one more thing, this mentality is relatively easier to succeed in doing a career. After all, they can do anything to pursue the results.
Many Machiavelliists have achieved great secular achievements. Statistics show that executives and CEOs of large companies are generally touched by some dark triangles, especially Machiavelli.
This also forms part of their personal charm.
In addition, these traits show a certain aggression and strong sense, which can easily attract people who are obsessed with this "strong" temperament.
So, scumbags are very bad, but there are always people who love them very much.
Since we are really addicted to this dark charm for a while, we can't let go and can't escape, we can simply go with the flow, at least to try our best to avoid harm when we get along with these people.
First of all, remember one sentence, scumbags with their own dark triangle will always love themselves the most.
deal with them, never believe that you can surpass their pursuit and maintenance of their own interests.
To give a simple example, a married man said, "My wife and I have long lost their feelings, and I love only you."
The little girl who has never seen the world is puzzled. Why don’t she divorce her wife if she has no feelings for her? Why don’t you marry me if you love me?
Then the little girl will do stupid things, give crazy things, please, pester, force marriage, and seek death...
In fact, the scumbag's idea is simple. He may indeed have such a good impression of his little lover, and he also has such a little reluctance and nostalgia for his wife.
But his lowest logic is that he loves himself, and he needs his lover and wife to meet his different needs.
The lover made a fuss with him and forced him to divorce. It seemed to be trying to make him prove that "you love me more than you love your wife", but in fact it was challenging his greed that "both want both".
This is a matter of giving up one's own interests. How could he let her succeed?
To put it incorrectly, really wants to go a long way with a scumbag, you have to be consistent with his interests - at least pretend to be consistent with his interests.
He wants the red flags to float together, so just tell him that I don’t want to get married either, I just want the feeling of falling in love.
The interests hit it right away, so he will be more willing to get along with you.
Second, it shows that it is consistent with his interests. does not mean that you really want to live as his vassal and tool.
It doesn’t matter if he is bad. I follow him wholeheartedly and treat him well. He loves himself the most, and I love him the most. This is OK, right?
is still naive.
People with their own dark personality triangle do love themselves the most, but they don’t necessarily need someone to love them like them - to put it simply, they don’t need it much, and they can’t even feel the “love” of others.
He loves himself and wants to make profits for himself. If you love him, you have to constantly give up the benefits to him.
When one day you can't meet his needs, no matter how much you love him, he will still abandon you.
People like this have "materialized" and "toolized" perceptions of others. If the tools are not easy to use, they should be thrown away. Who will talk about feelings with the tools? Who will be moved by the "loyalty" of a tool?
is cruel, but that's what they really are.
Finally, you can be confused by the scumbag for a while, but in the end, don’t be confused by him for a lifetime.
The short-term reluctant to let go is that we can still understand that human nature is inevitably weak, but there are really some girls who do not care about anything to keep a scumbag who has no heart and cause irreversible losses to their lives.
This is because I stared at the abyss for too long and was swallowed by the abyss.
Even if you really can’t give up this person in the short term, don’t give up your life and growth.
Ultimately, likes someone - whether it is a good person or a bad person - is just a part of life. You can be wholehearted when you fall in love with him, but you always have to have your own life.
Even if you fall in love with the wrong person and fall into unpleasant feelings, don’t delay too much of your own work, study, and personal growth and progress.
And I also want to say that If you really try not to stop growing and improving, your obsession with scumbags usually won't last too long.
Because your mind does not allow it.
We may have encountered it when we were studying, and even envied the so-called "bad boys", thinking that they can fight, be rebellious, have personality, and are simply cool.
is actually a form of expression of dark personality.
But if you look back today, will you still think they are amazing?
You just think that it is the past of Shamatt with a group of little kids.
Because you have grown up, your current mental level is not enough to make you obsessed with the "dark charm" of Shamatt middle school students again.
is the same in the relationship you are in the current love. If you are obsessed with a scumbag, you think that even if he is bad or dark, he has a fatal charm, which is often because we put ourselves too low.
You treat it as an abyss to stare at it, but when you are tall enough, you will discover the so-called abyss, which is just a small ditch.
This is like, Ordinary citizens of Gotham City will think that the clown is very powerful and will fear him, and some people will still be obsessed with him.
But Iron Man doesn't, Superman doesn't.
Try to make yourself the Iron Man and Superman, the one who crosses the abyss, rather than staring at and throwing into the abyss.
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