Speakers are the portal of the heart, language is a person's business card, and the kind of person will say what kind of person will say. We can judge what kind of person roughly based on what a person says.
For example, a person with a haze in his heart will talk about negative emotions such as "I can't do it" and "very annoying";
A person with high emotional intelligence will also sound good, and they are used to thinking about others, so they will also give people a very comfortable feeling.
We have learned to speak for several months, but we have to spend our whole life learning to shut up. Sometimes it is really important to keep silent.
Psychological research shows that middle-aged women should learn to keep silent and not talk about these four things.
1. When it comes to other people’s family affairs, you must learn to keep silent
Only boring people will peek into other people’s private affairs, because they have been wasting time and cannot find interesting things, and can only interfere in other people’s privacy.
Others encounter some things from their families. When we hear them, we are ready to help all our lives and tell the other party what to do.
In fact, when people get along, they need to keep a certain distance. The friendship between gentlemen is like water. This is what it means. It lets us know that friends are friends, and interfering too much will lead to disaster.
For example, the method we mentioned is useless at all, for example, the other party just wants to talk, and we don’t need to give any advice.
Writer Su Cen once said: "Don't invite too many people into your life. If they can't enter your heart, they will only disturb your life so much that it is overwhelming."
A smart middle-aged woman will control her mouth, know what to say and when not to say it, so when she gets along with others, she always moves forward and retreats freely and handles it properly.
2. For your own family affairs, you must learn to keep silent
No one can really empathize with us. When we experience some unhappy things from our family, we will have the desire to talk to outsiders.
In our opinion, the moment you say it, it means that the unhappy mood will no longer be held in your heart, and others will also give us advice.
In fact, family scandals should not be made public. No one really cares whether we are sad or not. They care that only this thing can satisfy their gossip needs and can become a topic of conversation after dinner to drive away those boring time.
We need to understand that things in marriage are only related to couples. If they can be solved, they will be solved immediately. If they cannot be solved, they will be relieved first. Not all things can be shared, and some things are not worthy of being told by outsiders.
Learn to keep silent about your own family affairs. The fewer people know about some things, the better.
When we know this principle, we will avoid many unnecessary things.
3. For the growth of children, you must learn to keep silent and not talk about
. The Qiao Yingzi in the TV series " Little Joy " suffered from moderate depression. The reason was that her mother Song Qian had a strong desire to control her daughter, and after the divorce, she treated her daughter as her only emotional sustenance.
Qiao Yingzi likes astronomy, Song Qian thinks it is a plaything, Qiao Yingzi likes to eat soy milk and fried dough sticks, Song Qian thinks it is junk food and has high calories.
That's it. Under Song Qian's remark that "mom is for your own good", Qiao Yingzi, who has been suppressed for a long time, suffered from depression .
Many times, we feel that everything we do is what the child wants, but we have never asked the child if he thinks so and whether he really needs it.
Gibran said: "Your children come to this world with the help of you, not because of you. What you can give them is your love, not your thoughts. What you can protect is their bodies, not their souls."
Children come to this world, and one day they will become more and more prosperous and have to learn to fly by themselves.
What we can do is protect him or her when she is young, let go when she is grown up, and let him or her stumbling.
4. For things that are not incompatible, you must learn to keep silent
When we get along with others, we will inevitably have differences and will have red faces and disputes over some disagreements.
When we were young, we felt that we must fight for the win or lose. Sometimes we would criticize others for not doing this, but when we mature, we will find that disputes are meaningless.
"The Great Gatsby" says: "Whenever you want to criticize anyone, remember that not everyone in this world has the superior conditions you have."
Everyone has different ways of thinking. The older a person grows up, the more they will know that the world needs to seek common ground while reserving differences. You can disagree with different opinions, but you must respect the other party's right to speak.
If we insist on arguing, even if we win, it will be meaningless. It’s just a little sense of accomplishment, but so what?
When faced with different opinions, just listen to them, don’t say anything that is quarrel.
Then we will find that life will be much lighter.
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