Many people like loneliness, but they can't escape the world. Life makes it inevitable that we should contact people, especially some relatives, which are avoidable.
This kind of relationship between children and in-laws is very sensitive. Before the couple got married, there was no intersection between them in life, and their living circles were also different.
Due to the union of children, the four elderly people and even the families behind them need to merge in a short period of time, which is not an easy task.
Everyone has their own living habits and language patterns. We don’t have to argue with these differences. Of course, it is not easy to accept them in full.
Most parents will restrain their own personalities in order to make their children live happily, and a small number of parents are unrestrained and still do their own things.
This will to a large extent cause certain obstacles to the married life of the young couple. If both parents are in this way, they are disregarded by others and do their own things, then it will be difficult to continue this marriage.
. Usually when dating with in-laws, when encountering these four situations, it is better to "pretend to be confused with understanding" to be simpler and more transparent.
flatter your children
In interpersonal communication, we usually find this phenomenon: no matter how unbearable the children of our own family are, they are like treasures in the eyes of their parents. This is especially true in in-laws’ relationships. After all, they are people who have to live together for the rest of their lives, so the other party’s parents will become more picky.
Unless you have overwhelming advantages in terms of economy, family, and appearance, most parents are "low-minded" for their children.
Therefore, they will publicize the goodness of their children in front of each other and will selectively ignore the advantages of each other.
" New Best Friends Era ", Liu Yan and Wenjing's first parents met. Liu Yan's mother said the first sentence: Our family Liu Yan used to study media majoring in foreign media. She worked in the newspaper for several years and is considered a well-known reporter. If you have a bit foreign behavior, you will be more responsible for the things that are not well-professional.
Wenjing's mother is not outdone: My Wenjing learns French and originally wanted to study abroad, but when she thought that the little girl was worried about the complex environment abroad, she didn't go out. Fortunately, our family is Wenjing and has talent. We set up our own company and now we are doing a good job.
Then, both sides began to praise their children for their sensibility, sensibility and filiality. A good meeting turned into a boastful ring match.
In fact, in the face of this situation, it is better to follow the other party and praise it. As the saying goes, the power of a horse is known from a distance, and people's hearts are seen over time. What kind of people are both parties? After a long time, I don’t need to say that I know. Why bother bragging too much and slap in the face in the future.
reveals their own scandals and contradictions
Some people cannot hide things in their mouths and hearts. They reveal and tell their own private affairs regardless of the occasion. I completely ignore whether others feel embarrassed when they hear these things.
In fact, when facing the in-laws, you really don’t have to speak out without any restraint. Many things are fine just the time to stop, and it is not an elegant thing to treat the scandals and conflicts between one's own relatives as topics of conversation after dinner.
If we hear the other party telling you something bad or even unbearable about our relatives, remember not to be busy echoing.
If you can nod and smile, you can expose this matter best. If you can't, just say a few more neutral words and don't make too many comments.
Because human nature is like this, there are some things you can say, but if others say them, your heart will be thorny.
, especially the relationship between in-laws is more sensitive. If we comment on his relatives at random, maybe he felt that the story was very refreshing at the time, but when you look back, it is easy to have estrangements and conflicts with you.
It is better for us to choose "pretend to be confused with our understanding" and expose this matter to the more secure "way to survive".
The conflict between children
There is no tongue and teeth between husband and wife. As the saying goes, when the bed is at the bedside and the bed is the most taboo thing about the conflict between husband and wife is to get involved with others.
Once the small privacy between two people becomes a big conflict published in the world, it will be difficult to easily relieve it.
Of course, some elderly people are worried about problems and cracks between their children, so they go to solve the problem by themselves. In fact, if there is no long-term problem that couples cannot reconcile, there is no need for parents to intervene.
The more the conflict between husband and wife is, the more difficult it is to sort out the conflict between outsiders. But if we unfortunately meet such a family and are more willing to get involved in the lives of the young couple, we can show that we are unwilling to interfere too much.
. When it comes to conflicts between children, the most taboo thing is to blindly criticize the other party and protect your own children.
The conflict between husband and wife is often not as clear as a piece of white paper, nor will it be as clear as the government’s case. Life has many details, and a small detail may change the basis of the judgment of the entire event.
Therefore, as outsiders, both parents can give certain guidance, but remember to point them until they are done.
. Faced with the situation where the in-laws bring the conflicts between the children and come to the front of us to determine the case, we can seek the children's opinions.
If children need help from their parents, we will help from a fair and objective perspective from an effective problem-solving perspective; if children do not need their parents to interfere, we must believe that as adults, they have the ability to solve problems.
complained that children cannot treat the elderly in one bowl of water
There was a time on the Internet that there was a debate on the topic of debate: If the in-laws are in bed, will the daughter-in-law have the responsibility to fulfill their obligation to serve the in-laws?
Most of the messages are biased towards: Since there is no legal requirement for the daughter-in-law to take care of the sick parents-in-law, the decision is up to the daughter-in-law himself. The mother-in-law has never given birth to a daughter-in-law or raised a daughter-in-law. If the daughter-in-law wants to take care of her willingly, it depends on the time before her parents-in-law gets sick and how the two get along. It’s better to put your heart in the form of your heart and have no conscience.
There will be such a comparison between many in-laws. For example, the neighbor’s grandma once said this: the daughter-in-law is worse than treating her biological parents. She bought a warm shirt for her biological parents, but she didn’t buy it for herself.
Then when this grandma met her in-laws, she mentioned this matter intentionally or unintentionally. On the third day, the daughter-in-law took a warm shirt and placed it in front of her, but the grandmother felt that her daughter-in-law was just unwilling to do so.
After that, the grandma gradually became open-minded. It was not filial piety from the bottom of her heart, and it was useless to ask for it yourself. It is normal for you to not be equal to yourself and her biological parents, and you cannot force it.
The fate between biological parents and children is determined by heaven. The grace of raising over 20 years is stronger than any relationship. The relationship between mother-in-law, daughter-in-law, father-in-law, son-in-law and other relationships is just an indirect relationship, and it is better to be polite and decent.
If you want to seek a heartfelt filial piety, it depends on whether you can exchange your heart for your relationship.
-END-
The world is so big, thank you, you can see me!
[Written|Weiwei'an: The pen has warmth and speaks for emotion. An atypical writer who loves words invites you to perceive life together]
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-