01
"Young couples come with companionship in old age". It is a happy thing to have an old partner when they are old. No matter how filial your children are, they cannot stay by your parents all the time. Only your spouse is the one who is with you day and night and caresses about your well-being.
But not everyone has a wife. Some people are widowed, and some people do not remarry after divorce, so they can only be alone. When people get old, they will be particularly afraid of loneliness and feel helpless, especially those empty-nest elderly people. So some elderly people think of finding a partner, not for anything else, just for having a partner.
When looking for a wife, the elderly must be cautious. They should not be hot-headed and remarry if they are confused. When an elderly person remarries, it also depends on the other person's character. Character is the most important thing, and it also depends on his family situation. If the elderly remarry and find the wrong partner, their lives will be in trouble and miserable in their later years.
02
Mother-in-law goes to her son's house to take care of her children. Because of the different concepts of parenting with her daughter-in-law, there is always friction between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Three years later, the 58-year-old mother-in-law had the idea of remarrying, but despite the opposition of her daughter-in-law, she insisted on remarrying a divorced old man.
This happened at Chen Xiaohong's house. My mother-in-law remarried for two years. In the past two years, the old man's family of four moved to her house. In the end, my mother-in-law was overwhelmed and divorced. Let’s listen to their family’s stories.
Self-reporter: Chen Xiaohong
Age: 36 years old
Occupation: Primary school teacher
City: Huludao
03
When my husband and I got married, my father-in-law was in good health and he didn't feel uncomfortable normally. However, he has a bad temper and is a bit macho, so he is always domineering to his mother-in-law, and his in-laws' relationship has always been not very good.
Once when my mother-in-law talked to me about her marriage, tears surged in her eyes. It was also a woman. I could feel that she was not happy in marriage at all, but there were fewer people divorced in their era, and my mother-in-law was reluctant to part with her son, so she barely lived with her father-in-law.
The second year after my husband and I got married, one day at noon, my father-in-law drank some alcohol and later died of a sudden cerebral infarction. Facing this bolt from the blue, if you want to be another wife, you will definitely be very sad. But my mother-in-law was very calm and did whatever she should do. I don’t think she was sad.
A year after my father-in-law passed away, I gave birth to a son, and my husband asked my mother-in-law to help us take care of the children. My mother-in-law moved to our house to live. Originally, our mother-in-law and daughter-in-law didn't live together, so she was always quite polite. But since the mother-in-law moved in, there have been constant conflicts between us mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, mainly because of different parenting concepts.
After three years of stuttering, the child went to kindergarten. One day, due to the problem of picking up the child, my mother-in-law and I had another friction. My mother-in-law was so angry that she stopped helping us take care of the child. She took her luggage and went back to her home.
04
Two months later, the mother-in-law sent a message to her husband saying that she was going to remarry. My husband and I rushed to my mother-in-law's house immediately and asked her what was going on? My mother-in-law said that because she couldn't get along with me, it seemed that it was unrealistic to rely on her son, so she wanted to find a wife and didn't want to live alone without relying on her.
I apologized to her. After she left in the past two months, I realized how much she made to us. In fact, I don’t have any deep hatred for her, but I just have differences with her on the issue of raising children. For example, I have strict requirements on my children, but she always spoils them, so we quarreled.
Mother-in-law said that no matter what, she is going to remarry now, and the remarriage partner is an old man she met when she went shopping for groceries. The mother-in-law is 58 years old, and the old man is 60 years old. He divorced a few years ago. He lives with his son and daughter-in-law. Because he was angry at his son's house, the old man wanted to remarry and live separately from his son and daughter-in-law.
Since my mother-in-law said that, let’s hear the conditions seem to be OK, so I won’t say anything more. I think it is normal for the elderly to remarry. My mother-in-law was not happy in the previous marriage, and now she wants to start a new marriage, which is also good.
But when my husband and I met the old man’s family, both of us opposed it. That family gave people a very unreliable feeling. My son worked odd jobs everywhere and didn’t have a serious job. My daughter-in-law is taking care of the child at home. I see that the child is not well-behaved at all and is dirty all over.
05
The old man said he had a retirement salary, which was more than 3,000 yuan per month, but we see that he smoked and drank, and he was very good at pursuing enjoyment. It is estimated that 3,000 yuan is not necessarily enough for him to spend.
My husband and I began to object, hoping that my mother-in-law would find someone more reliable. We did not object to her remarriage, but to her marrying this old man. But my mother-in-law couldn't listen to our words at all, thinking that I didn't agree with her remarriage, so she arranged the old man's bad words.
Because my mother-in-law insisted on remarrying, her husband didn't want to hurt her heart, so she compromised. But I think my mother-in-law will definitely not be happy to marry that old man, so I insist on opposing it. No matter what my mother-in-law thinks, my attitude is just like that, and I think that old man can't do it.
The husband came up with a compromise solution. He asked his mother-in-law to live with the old man and not get the marriage certificate. If the relationship is not good, you will be divided, so as not to have to go through divorce procedures, which will be more troublesome. But the mother-in-law said confidently that she was remarrying openly, not "fighting with others".
Finally, my mother-in-law and the old man went to get a marriage certificate, so my husband and I didn’t say anything. It’s over, and we only wish you all. The old man moved out of his son's house and moved into his mother-in-law's house. The two of them were together openly. It took them more than a month to get married.
06
After the mother-in-law got married, the old man did not do any housework, and the mother-in-law took care of all the housework. The old man's expenses are very high, and his son often comes to ask him for money, so his retirement salary is not enough at all. The family expenses depend entirely on his mother-in-law's retirement salary.
Not long after the two got married, the old man's daughter-in-law sent the child to her father-in-law and asked her father-in-law to help him take care of her because she found a job. The old man would not take care of the children, so he threw the children to his mother-in-law. The mother-in-law had to do housework and take care of the children.
The old man's daughter-in-law threw the child to her father-in-law, but the child's support was not paid at all, so my mother-in-law paid the money again. The son and daughter-in-law often come to see the children, and the old man always keeps them at home for dinner, which increases the burden on the mother-in-law.
Later, the son and daughter-in-law quarreled because the daughter-in-law felt that the son could not make money. My son came to surrender to the old man in anger, so the old man took in his son, so his son lived in my mother-in-law's house. After living for a few days, the old man discussed with his mother-in-law that the young couple could not be separated all the time, so he went to call his daughter-in-law.
After the daughter-in-law came, the old man kept her stay. My mother-in-law thought that after the young couple reconciled, they would move back to their homes, but they would not move away. They rented out their house, and the idea was paid by the old man. When the son had a rent income, the daughter-in-law would not mind that he could not make any money.
07
My mother-in-law remarried and the old man originally wanted to find a wife and live in the world of two people. Now, the stepson and the family of three have also moved in. The family has become lively and there are more conflicts. Our family of three went to my mother-in-law's house, but instead became outsiders.
When my father-in-law was there, he left a room for us. He said that sometimes we can live at home when we go back. Although we moved out and ordered, our in-laws' home will always be our home and we can go back at any time. But now when we go back, we have no place to stand, and our room is occupied by our mother-in-law's step-son family.
The stepchild family does not pay for living expenses. The old man has to pay some of his retirement wages from time to time, so he is not enough to raise himself. All the expenses at home were borne by her mother-in-law, and she also contracted all the housework and became a mother who paid for money.
When my mother-in-law lived in our house, she had a little friction with me because of the problem of raising children. Now she and her stepson family are full of conflicts. The old man always protects his son and daughter-in-law, and the mother-in-law suffers so much.So after two years of remarriage, the mother-in-law is going to divorce, but it is easy to ask God to send him away, so the old man refuses to divorce at all.
After the mother-in-law went to sue, the old man took the method of procrastination and said in the court how much he loved his mother-in-law. Later, my husband and I came forward and hired a lawyer again, so we finally got married. At this point, my mother-in-law finally realized that it was not unreasonable for me to object to her marrying this old man.
Conclusion:
Chen Xiaohong's mother-in-law was not happy in the previous marriage, so she longed for a new relationship in her heart, and she also wanted a happy marriage. In fact, it is understandable that the elderly want to remarry, but they must find a reliable person, and their family burden is as light as possible.
Everyone needs to measure their own strength and do the bigger the ability. Chen Xiaohong's mother-in-law is just an ordinary retired worker, with self-sufficiency in her retirement salary and a good life in her later years. But she still has to go to support her old man and her stepson family, so she will be overwhelmed.
When young people get married, they should listen to their parents' opinions more; when the elderly remarry, they should listen to their children's opinions more, and do not get impulsive and get the wrong marriage. After Chen Xiaohong's mother-in-law and daughter-in-law had a friction, she returned home in anger, and then hurriedly remarried, but she got the wrong marriage.
It is difficult to get along with mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, so it is normal to have a little friction. Both mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should learn to think from the perspective of others and be more tolerant and considerate of each other. When it comes to raising children, the daughter-in-law’s opinions are the main focus, because the daughter-in-law is the child’s guardian, and the mother-in-law is not the child’s guardian.
Author: A creator in the emotional field, focusing on various issues in the emotional field, welcome to follow. Life is warmth because of love and love. Let us grow in love and spend every day in true love.
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