1,
My name is Xiaowei, from Henan, 27 years old this year, I met my husband Zhiming in Fuzhou. After a sweet and lovely year, he proposed to me.
My father died early, and one brother and one sister got married. My mother lived with her brother and sister-in-law. My mother opposed me marrying far away, saying that Zhiming's family had three brothers, and a family with many sons, and his wife was not precious.
And young people just started a small family and didn't know anything, especially when they had children, the elderly had to help. Zhiming's family had many brothers, and they were afraid that their parents-in-law would not be able to take care of them, so she would be too far away. Even if they were willing, they would not be able to help. I was the one who suffered.
But I was young and frivolous, and I was full of love, so I could not listen to other people's advice.
Youth is a companion to return home. I am like a bird flying out of the cage. I followed Zhiming to his hometown Longyan .
First arrived at Zhiming's house, the whole family was quite enthusiastic and prepared a large table of dishes.
First of all, I felt that the house was too crowded. The whole family lived in an old building. Downstairs was the living room, parents' bedroom, three bedrooms and one living room on the upper floor. My elder brother and sister-in-law brought one with my nephew, Zhiming and his younger brother's room, and his younger brother's room. It felt so crowded and awkward. Zhiming smiled and said that we like to live together and lively.
2,
Zhiming's family set the wedding day on May Day, and there is about a week to prepare, and then we go to the market every day to buy some wedding supplies.
When I went to buy furniture, I took a fancy to a beige cabinet, a matching dressing table, and a bed with sofa cushion. I poked Zhiming, but his father looked at the price, which was 12,000 yuan. I walked away and ordered a set of 4,000 yuan, but I didn't mean to ask me.
When I bought bedding, I thought I had to buy eight sets because for me, I had to have eight sets of bedding and satin quilt. The patterns of dragons and phoenixes are drawn, and hundreds of sons and grandchildren are piled on the wedding bed, commonly known as "pressing the bed". Unexpectedly, my mother-in-law made the decision on the spot and only bought one.
When I went to buy gold jewelry, the gold, platinum, jade and diamonds on the counter were shining brightly and shaking the eyes of the flowery people. I wanted to buy an platinum necklace . My mother-in-law directly picked a gold necklace and a gold ring, saying that when my sister-in-law and brother got married, they bought these two things. We are the second brothers, so we can't surpass them, and the gold is value-preserving, making it easy to recycle.
I want to take a set of wedding photos and hang them in the room. My mother-in-law said no, but my sister-in-law and brother didn't take wedding photos when they got married, so she couldn't be partial.
In the room at night, I cried and said with grievance: I don’t allow you to buy this, that one cannot be more than my sister-in-law. We spend money to buy things we like, can’t we spend money to take wedding photos ourselves?
Who doesn’t want to leave a beautiful memory of youth? In the future, I will be in my 70s and 80s. It is also a wonderful memory for my grandchildren to show them.
Zhiming explained: Our custom here is that the son’s marriage must be undertaken by his parents. Marriage is equivalent to adulthood. The parents have fulfilled their obligations, but the parents have been frugal all their lives and are stubborn. They have to do it in their own way. There is nothing we can do. Wife, bear it for the time being. When we don’t stay together in the future, they can’t control it. Let’s go and take a re-shoot.
3 and
both say that the new wife is a petite, but I am just a bride-to-be who has felt a lot of constraints. For example, the mother-in-law said that everyone has to go to work, and there are only two idle people at home, and we have to be responsible for buying groceries and cooking.
Let’s go to the vegetable market together, Zhiming started to cook and everyone ate it. Of course I had to wash the dishes. My hands were soaked in the sink. After fighting for three days, my skin turned white and wrinkled, and my fingers were peeling off.
Zhiming was helping, and I leaned over and said: Is this my mother-in-law’s warning to her daughter-in-law? Zhiming was embarrassed to say: My sister-in-law just got married and was the same, she washed dishes every day.
The day before the wedding, I received the six beds sent by my mother that she made handmade bedding from her home cotton . My mother-in-law touched it with her hands and said it was so soft.
My mind became hot and subconsciously asked: Do you want to send you one? My mother-in-law happily carried the bed and left. I was stunned. After realizing it, I realized that what my parents bought was my mother's wish. This was a dowry and I had to be paired, but now there are five beds left.
After a while, the mother-in-law went upstairs and said in an unquestionable tone: Sister-in-law came in before you and gave birth to a grandson. You are the sister-in-law, so you should respect her. You give her a quilt and buy her a set of clothes for her.
I refused, my mother-in-law went downstairs with a dark face.
Why? The quilt was sewn by my mother stitched it one by one. I didn’t want to give it to you, but in a calm attitude, we bought a set of clothes for our nephew the next day.
4 and
I was even more puzzled. Until the day before the wedding, my parents-in-law still went to work, and there was no atmosphere at home to hold weddings.
In our hometown, we either charter a car to pick up relatives to a hotel or ask a wedding company to handle it lively at home.
But on the day of my wedding, I was so disappointed that I didn’t go to the hotel or hired any wedding planners, and there was no bridesmaid makeup artist. I had to put on the new clothes I bought and put on light makeup myself.
At around nine o'clock, a tricycle came. Three people got out of the cart of pots and pans, built a shed at the door and got busy. Then someone brought tables, chairs, benches, and five tables were set up in the living room of the home.
When the meal was about to start, relatives came one after another. My mother-in-law greeted a group of aunts and aunts, commenting on me, and chattering, but I couldn't understand it.
The little cousin of Zhiming next to him came over and slapped in my ear, saying in Mandarin: My aunt said you are from a province and have no dowry.
I was furious. Before getting married, Zhiming said that the custom here is that all expenses are paid by our parents, and we don’t have to pay for them ourselves. I just understand that he has many brothers, and it is not easy for his parents, so he didn't ask for a bride price.
We have saved some money to buy a house in the future after working in recent years. But I knew that I was considerate of them, but I was looked down upon by them and disliked that I had no dowry.
At night, I ate the leftover dishes from the banquet at noon for dinner. When I saw that the scattered stew was worse than pig food, and I couldn't eat it at all.
mother-in-law said to help me make a bowl of fish soup. When I saw her, she picked up the big fish that was just , respecting the gods , and she lifted the red paper on it. It seemed that something was chewed on the fish's belly. She said without changing her face: The gods ceremonial things were placed on the shelf last night and were chewed by a mouse. It doesn't matter.
She picked off the piece that the mouse had gnawed with her hands, poured the fish into the pot, added water, and waited for a while, the water rolled, she put a bowl and said she asked me to drink fish soup.
My stomach surging, and I ran upstairs as if I had gone upstairs, and I entered the wedding room and fell on the bed.
Zhiming ran up with a large plate full of red envelopes and asked me what was wrong, making me happy, hurry up, wife, unpack the red envelopes, you see so much.
This is the red envelope received by the tea-received just now. I barely cheered up and picked up the one on the side. It was given by my sister-in-law just now. The pattern on the red envelope was different from what others gave me. I was worried at that time.
Because Zhiming mentioned to me that he helped a lot in business and supported money several times. When his little nephew was born, he bought gold jewelry for big red envelopes. The eldest brother and sister-in-law were very moved and said that they would pack the full set of furniture when he got married.
This time, they didn't pay for furniture, so they should have a big red envelope, and Zhiming is full of confidence.
bulging red envelopes, open them and see 6 RMB 20.
Zhiming was stunned and embarrassed.
What kind of family is this? The parents are autocratic, the brothers are ruthless, and the sister-in-law is smart and calculating. It will take some time to get to our independent portal. How should we live together in the future?
Before the wedding night began, I collapsed, tears kept flowing, I wanted to escape, you guys, what should I do?
5,
Lanting said: I am in a foreign land, I am unfamiliar with my life, and have different language and living habits. The only thing I entrust with my whole body and soul is to marry him. But marrying someone means marrying him all the social relationships. The road ahead is long, and there are still many years in the future?
Xiaowei's future journey is obviously difficult, and her husband has no opinion. He can't fight against the whole world alone for you. If you have the courage and ability to face the future, then go on bravely and ask yourself, and if you can't, then stop the loss in time.
Girls, marriages that parents like may not necessarily be happy, and marriages that parents oppose may not be happy. Before making a choice, keep your eyes open and think twice.
Dear friends, what do you have to say to Xiaowei? Welcome to leave a message.
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