text | Xueluo Wuchen
In life, many people are confused about marriage. Before they think clearly, they are about to start a new emotional journey. But this journey is not that happy for most people.
Because everyone only realizes that there are so many things to pay attention to when marriage is done. If you are not careful, it will cause a series of conflicts and quarrels.
Even if you manage this marriage carefully, there will be some external problems in your relationship at some point, which makes you unacceptable.
In fact, instead of passively accepting, it is better to face it actively. Face the unavoidable truths and problems in marriage and solve them one by one, and you will still be happy.
Let’s take a look together. In marriage, there are 5 heartbreaking "truths". The sooner you see through it, the better.
01
First: Don’t compare in other people’s marriages
Once I saw this sentence: "Picking a partner is like picking up shells by the beach. If you pick a good one, leave. Don’t go back to the beach."
But there are still too many people who have lost to human nature. Focus on other people’s marriages and only see the goodness of other people’s partners.
There is a relative who is like this. When she married someone with good conditions, she lived a happy life.
The neighbor of a relative happened to marry a "potential stock" and was poor at first, but after working hard, he made a lot of money in business ten years later, and even bought a house in the city with full payment.
So, the relatives were blushed. Since then, they have compared their husbands with their neighbors, which is even more confusing.
Relatives find that their husbands can’t do anything. On the other hand, their neighbors and husbands are not only strong in appearance, but also more motivated and capable than their husbands.
Relatives who feel a sense of gap start to quarrel with their husbands, and their marriage life is getting worse and worse.
In fact, there are always people who are more lucky and can find a more capable partner.
However, there is no perfect person in this world. No matter how perfect other people’s partner is, they may have many shortcomings after others’ backs. This is something that outsiders cannot know, only family members know.
Since you know nothing about the other party’s real situation, it is meaningless to blindly envy and compare. Instead, your marriage becomes worse and worse. It is better to focus all your thoughts on the advantages of marriage and partner, and life can be warmer.
02
Second: After marriage, you should be more attentive and work harder than before marriage
There is a girl around you who lie down flat after marriage. Her husband gives her 5,000 living expenses every month. The girl doesn’t go to work. She sleeps until she wakes up naturally every day, and lives a very comfortable life.
It is undeniable that such a life is indeed very comfortable, but is it really good for yourself? Actually not necessarily. How many women think that they can rely on their partners after marriage and do not need to make any effort.
Little do they know that human nature is unfathomable. At that time, he may want you to enjoy happiness comfortably, but in the future, he may think that you are a drag. It’s okay to spend his money in normal times, but he can’t help him at critical moments.
Although women are a little weaker in marriage, this is limited to the physical strength gap and is not linked to their ability to make money. Moreover, the partner is also "snobbish" in some ways.
Sometimes the more you earn, the stronger your ability, and your partner will be better for you.
03
3: Both people in marriage are ordinary people
In fact, in an intimate relationship, neither men nor women are omnipotent.
Everyone will have times of vulnerability, and now life is so stressful, it is normal that it can't hold back.
is like Fang Yuan in the TV series " Little Joy ". He was laid off in middle age and could not find a suitable job. The family still has such great pressure.
Not long after, Fang Yuan couldn't hold back. Once he got drunk, he sat at the door and cried. His wife Tong Wenjie took the lead at the critical moment and went to work alone to support the whole family.
In fact, most people are ordinary people, with limited family conditions and limited pressure, and the partner they are looking for is the same as themselves. Since this is the case, don’t think that you should be spoiled by the other party, but should live independently.
After all, husband and wife spoil each other. If only one side spoils the other, then the one who gives will sooner or later become tired. Over time, your feelings for you will become less and less.
04
Fourth: Don’t think it’s boring, just go to extramarital affairs
If you feel that your life in front of you is particularly dull and boring, that’s normal. Not only you, all marriages are the same, and like a close relationship, it will eventually turn into dullness.
But not everyone can accept this reality. They have always believed that true marriage is romantic and should not be a mess in front of them.
So, in order to resolve it, some people know new people. Start a new relationship with your partner in order to satisfy your emotional needs.
But the result is nothing more than two situations. The extramarital affair was discovered and separated from the outside and continued to live with the original wife. However, due to the breakdown of trust, the relationship between the two could no longer return to the past.
or choose to marry someone outside and separate from the original partner. But after living with each other for a long time, I found that life will still be dull and there is not much difference from the past.
So, don’t forget the truth of marriage because of a moment of loneliness, and end up destroying the most precious thing.
05
Fifth: Don't change the other party
In the book "Worth in the World", the author talked about his bad marriage.
After marriage, she found that her husband had a bad habit of drinking and asked his friends to go out to drink without getting drunk every day. This not only affects one's own health, but also spends all your salary on drinking.
At the beginning, she thought that she must help her husband get rid of this bad habit. But unexpectedly, the husband did not change, but the two quarreled repeatedly. If they continued to argue, they would have to divorce.
In order to save her marriage, she began to change herself and no longer forced her husband to quit drinking. Moreover, every time the husband finished drinking, she would take the initiative to prepare sobering soup for her husband. Unexpectedly, this way of getting along would make the couple harmonious.
In fact, everyone has different ideas and hobbies. If there is a difference between the other party and you, there is no need to change the other party. If the other party does not want to change, it will only create new conflicts.
It is better to choose to give up. The other party has his own ideas, and you must also choose to respect, and the contradictions will naturally disappear.
In summary, marriage is when two independent people live together. Although they spend money together, their spirits should also be independent. At the same time, they must have their own ability to make money so that there will be fewer cracks in marriage.
The management of marriage has never been simple. If you encounter trouble in your marriage and don’t know what to do, you can come to me and I will help you.
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