The reader wrote to me and said:
is in the countryside. After graduating from university, he took the national exam twice, but he failed to get ashore. In this case, I was embarrassed to continue staying at home and go to the city where I went to college to work hard. At the age of marriage, I know that it is difficult to find a marriage partner in my work city, so I asked my parents to help me find a marriage partner in my hometown. Under this circumstance, my wife and I met and got married. From the time we met to getting married, we met less than 20 times.
After getting married, I took my wife and I to work hard in the city where I went to school, but my wife shouted to go home in less than a month: 1) I think it is difficult to find someone to talk to in the big city; 2) No one plays mahjong with her; 3) My wife doesn’t like the rhythm of life in the city. Facing my wife's decision to return to her hometown, although I was a little reluctant, I could only obey.
In a blink of an eye, my wife and I haven't seen each other for several months. Some time ago, my wife called me to go home and said there was something important to discuss with me. After we met, my wife told me that she was pregnant. Obviously, the child in her belly is definitely not mine. Finally, after I asked, my wife told the truth: the child in her belly is Qiangzi's (my buddy's name, pseudonym).
Qiangzi's father is the village chief of our village. Qiangzi always takes care of work near our village. Qiangzi has a wife and children. I don’t know why Qiangzi thought about my wife; I can’t understand why my wife still had to mess with Qiangzi even though she knew Qiangzi had a family.
It has come to this point, so I can only take my wife to the hospital to deal with the child. Then, I began to wonder where this relationship should go: 1) To be honest, it is not easy to find a wife for a family like me; 2) My wife and I are people from two worlds at all. She likes life in the countryside more, while I prefer to make trouble in big cities; 3) My wife’s behavior of cuckolding me makes it difficult for me to digest. I would like to ask, in this case, should I forgive my wife or choose to divorce?
Muzili Emotional analysis:
In our life, we have many things to do ourselves, such as: during school, we need to study hard; after entering society, we need to find a job quickly; when we reach the age of marriage, we are eager to start a family; when our children grow up, we need to fulfill our obligation to raise our children; when our parents are old, we need to show filial piety. It is precisely because we have many things that we need to face in our lives that we have a future in life. But in the process of working hard for life, we will know the warmth and coldness again. During this period, the embarrassment that people are most reluctant to face: 1) The lover did something that betrayed him; 2) The lover did not get along well with his parents; 3) His ability to make money is a bit poor.
The most common words we hear about in our lives: You have to work hard; However, calmly look at the rich people we have heard of. They do work hard during their hard work, but there are factors such as family background and ability to seize opportunities that help them. For some ordinary people, hard work and cheering up are at best to let themselves solve their food and clothing. Don’t complain about the injustice of fate at this time, because complaining and sighing are relatively cheap in the adult world. No matter how difficult your current life is, you should still make yourself more optimistic and stronger. Because the truth of human nature is like this: if you don’t do well, the people around you will underestimate you; if you do well, the people around you will be jealous of you. To do this, everyone should maximize their happiness as much as possible within their ability.
In this era, more and more single people are. Among these single people, some people have actively chosen to be single, and some people are obviously particularly eager for marriage, but because they are short of money, they have to accept the result of being single. During this period, some people's are short of money and , because they are lazy, or because they lack helpers in life, or they don't have the courage to mess around in life. The result: Without vision, ability, and support, these people can only live at the bottom of society for the rest of their lives.Even if I occasionally give a shout of dissatisfaction in life, I find that it will not work. Although knowledge is still a shortcut for many people to change their destiny, not every rural child who works hard to get into college can have a glamorous job.
In this era, there is a phenomenon called that more and more people who grew up in small places began to crowd into the city. During this period, they may live a life of renting houses in the suburbs of big cities and urban villages, or their monthly income will be very little left after rent and daily expenses, but they do not have the courage to stay in their hometown. Three reasons: 1) After years of campus life, I am very unfamiliar with farming; 2) It is difficult to find a job that suits me when I return to my hometown; 3) To live, leaving my hometown will be a forced choice. Among this group, 80% of people will sigh like this: their hometown cannot accommodate their body, and their work and city cannot accommodate their souls. Because factors related to houses, marriages, etc. in life are difficult to implement under the constraints of money.
Maybe your wife is not the most suitable marriage partner you think, but at the age of marriage is your best choice. When you get married to your wife, your idea is very simple: after getting married, your wife will follow you to the city where you work hard to live with you. During this period, you do not have too high requirements for her monthly income, or you may feel that her monthly income can cope with the food and food. Unfortunately, your wife also tried to work hard in the city with you, but she felt that this kind of life was not what she wanted, and eventually, she returned to what she thought was a comfort zone. In this case, your wife is lonely because of the separation of the couple. At this time, facing the proactive approach of your fickle brother, your wife failed to guarantee her loyalty to the marriage.
In this case, you actually want to get a divorce, but the reality makes you feel a little helpless. My advice: Divorce. The reason I gave: 1) You like to work hard in big cities, and your wife likes the rural atmosphere, which means that even if you forgive your wife, you will still be separated in your future life. I would like to ask, what does this kind of husband and wife relationship mean to you? 2) When it is difficult for the husband and wife to form a state of being one-straight in the marriage management level, there will only be more conflicts between husband and wife, and people are species that are afraid of loneliness after all. For this reason, a cruel reality we must face about whether a relationship is reliable is: whether a husband and wife are the same people. If the way is different, don’t force them together.
Postscript:
Many people have some beautiful imaginations about life before entering society, but the truth that they only understand after they truly enter society: ideals are full and reality is skinny. Even if you have too many unhappiness in life, you still have to let yourself live happily. In a person’s life, there may be many things waiting for him to do, but he also needs to do it within his ability. If some things are particularly difficult for you, you can temporarily prevent your ideal from being reflected in reality.
In the adult world, everyone is pushing themselves forward, but due to some realistic reasons, they cannot become the object of envy. Even if they have worked hard, they still live a worse life. In this case, first let yourself have food and clothing. As for whether you can live as expected by the people around you, just work hard. No matter what state you are currently in, you must first make yourself happy in the way you are good at. For some things that make you difficult for yourself and those who make you unhappy, please rationally choose to stay away from it.
(The picture is from the Internet, the picture is irrelevant)
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