The so-called opening of mind means that you suddenly begin to feel anxious about the past years. It is like a gust of wind blowing, pushing a layer of dark clouds away, allowing you to see the lighthouse in the distance and knowing that you should pursue some happy goals in your

18 failed the high school entrance examination at the age of 18 and entered society

22 and started the first marriage

23 and ended the first marriage

24 and started the second marriage

25 and fought against the disease for 5 years

29 and the highlights of life

35 and woke up like a dream and set off again

0 When I wrote this article, I was already 35 years old.

35 years old I was only in my mind opening mode. The so-called opening of mind means that you suddenly begin to feel anxious about the past years. It is like a gust of wind blowing, pushing a layer of dark clouds away, allowing you to see the lighthouse in the distance and knowing that you should pursue some happy goals in your life.

18 When I was still an ignorant middle school student, when I was not ready to meet my workplace life, I failed the high school entrance examination and went to a foreign land under the arrangement of my parents to start my life as a working girl.

The village I have lived in for 35 years.

My first job was working in a door and window factory. The job was simple but difficult. It is simple because it is just to use sandpaper to polish and smooth the semi-finished doors and windows. Occasionally, the finished house doors will be packaged. It is difficult because I often lose things because of my sluggishness in my personality.

This also exposed my shortcomings, which are my lack of care and clumsy work.

emphasizes this shortcoming because this shortcoming has caused fatal damage to my workplace life. For a long time, my career has not been very smooth, which has also made me, who is already dissatisfied with appearance and physical disability, become more inferior.

After working in the door and window factory for two or three months, I was fired because of my leader’s dissatisfaction with my work. Then I went to a luggage factory for work under the arrangement of my parents. I was 19 years old that year.

I thought it might be better if I changed my job. Whether it is my work ability or interpersonal relationships, reality really fulfills the saying: I can’t swim, and it’s useless to change to a swimming pool.

I am still doing a very basic job in the luggage factory, which is to help technical workers. But even so, work without any technical content is still difficult to reach the sky. Thanks to the care of the leaders, I was assigned to the lowest level of the factory, cut off the thread on the luggage and wiped the glue on the bag clean.

700 yuan per month will keep 100 yuan for yourself, and the rest will be given to your parents. In the middle, I also encountered hungry because I had no money at the end of the month and didn’t care about food. I also had a long time with my colleagues because I spoke bluntly and could not handle interpersonal relationships.

At that time, I was alone everywhere, and no one wanted to be with me. During my off-duty days, I just slept and went shopping, and occasionally became addicted to making friends on the radio station. At that time, I was still using an ordinary Nokia phone. I don’t understand what sex is and what love is. I have also encountered harassment from my colleagues, which scared me and ran away quickly. Now I think I was still relatively simple at that time. I have been working on a job like

for three years. In this way, the best youth of my life passed by in a hurry under the shadow of inferiority and introverted personality.

Like other ordinary rural girls, parents started to arrange blind dates for me to find a partner when they reached the right age. thought this would be the beginning of my wonderful life. But I didn’t expect that a new round of hell life began again. When I was a boy in my neighboring village, I was not as tall as me when I first saw him. But because I had a blue birthmark on my face and had congenital disability in my legs, I barely accepted it.

Just one year of marriage, under his cold violence, indifference and contempt, I almost got depression . There is no happiness at all, and I cry all day long.

I remember one time when I went to his workplace for an interview, my colleague asked her who I was, and he actually said that I was a new colleague he brought, and he didn't dare to admit that I was his wife. I don’t let my power in terms of money, I just spend as much as I want. After every quarrel, no one cares about anyone, and after get off work, he lives like facing the cold air.

OK I can tolerate all these. But something that happened later made me completely give up on this marriage.

Because I had a severe cold and needed an infusion, he only gave me 30 quick money when I asked him for money. At that time, I threw away the money and bought two buns for dinner with the only two dollars I had. After dawn, I spent 200 yuan to the unit and injected the fluid myself.

The picture I took when I was working in Penglai alone was not very fat at that time, but very rustic.

23 years old I spent the Spring Festival alone in the Internet cafe. The boss’s wife was pretty good and brought me dumplings, peanuts and candies. This kind behavior added a hint of warmth to me who was in a foreign land for the New Year, and it still makes me unforgettable.

During the divorce period, I suffered from severe skin disease because of my extreme depression. My skin all over my body was itchy, so I couldn't sleep at night, and I couldn't even see it anywhere. Now I think that life is really worse than death during those days.

Not long after, I met my current husband, Mr. Zhang.

Never believe that it’s the same thing as anyone getting married. The right person can lead you to the world through the eighteen levels of hell, and the wrong person can lead you back to hell in heaven! Before I met Mr. Zhang, I thought life was just like this, but when he appeared, I forgave all the sufferings that the world has given me.

Mr. Zhang and I are from the same village, and we also met through blind dates. Although he is 10 years older than me, there is no gap between me and us. It is very cruel, tolerant and careful in me. Although he didn't make much money, he gave it to me for custody.

A few things impressed me deeply and moved me after marriage.

At that time, I bought toys in my hometown. In the winter morning, when we rode our bikes to the market together, because I didn’t bring gloves, he gave me his gloves, and his hands were almost frozen. Because the fog was very high that day, I rode slowly, and when I was about to catch up with him, he said anxiously: If I can't see it again, I will go to the ditch to look for it. When we walked around the world, she always shone the flashlight backwards, for fear that I would bump into it.

The happiness a woman wants is actually very simple. As long as there is someone who is sincere to him, it is enough for her. Through these things, I secretly swear that I will never leave him in my life, and I will willingly give birth to a daughter for him. But God does not follow others' wishes. We still have no children after we got married for a long time, so we started to take care of our bodies.

My 23-year-old wedding photo

Who knew another nightmare began again. Due to long-term medication, stomach disease, heart disease, cervical spondylosis, frequent urination and urgency to urinate. Stomach pain Stomach bloating, chest tightness and shortness of breath, dizziness, and dizziness. Going to the hospital has become commonplace, and the medical bills are as thick as a book, and this state has lasted for four years. In this way, a woman's most beautiful youth is passing by in a hurry in the fight against the disease.

The scene during infusion, my husband took good care of me at that time.

Because my condition has not improved, I gave up treating infertility, and at the same time stopped all the medicines and found a job that is relatively unnecessary to be too tired.

I call a sales company to work in a daily life

says that water is a scenery where people are reborn when they are desperate.

probably out of God's favor, my sales performance is pretty good, and I earned more than 10,000 yuan a month starting from the third month. The working environment and living conditions have also undergone earth-shaking changes. Colleagues have a dinner together. Company tourism has also become the norm, and the vision has been greatly improved. But retaliatory consumption has also become the norm, and spending money is like flowing water.

The pictures taken by our company when organizing a trip

What I got by luck eventually lost the ability to never take the initiative to improve my business ability based on my strength. Two years later, I was fired by the company. After that, I also changed many jobs, but I was either dismissed or resigned automatically after being desperate.

For a long time, I was in a state of unemployed vagrant, and my will became very depressed. I often went to the bar to drink until I was drunk. I often stay up late and never take the initiative to read and exercise. The way to pass the time is either to watch TV series, watch movies, watch short videos, or chat with strangers.If you really have nothing to do, just put on a quilt and sleep. Anyway, I have my husband to support me, so I don’t have any pressure or motivation.

When I thought this kind of life would go on with worry, something completely awakened me.

My father needed 50,000 yuan to undergo surgery due to cerebral thrombosis. I was so short of money that I could only borrow from my friend with a thick face. At this moment, I found that some of my peers around me had either found their own career, had a high income, had a house and a car, or had a happy family, and my children were all in junior high school, but I had nothing, and a huge anxiety arose.

I strongly realize that I can’t continue like this anymore. I want to work hard to make money. I don’t want to cry and worry when my parents need it, and don’t let it be humble when they borrow money. Don’t think that one day you look back on the past and gain nothing except regret and old age. I want to make my mind clear and no longer be confused. I want to master more skills and no longer have no choice but to use when I was 35 this year, I resolutely started to work hard to improve myself. Read a lot of books on brain science , thinking logic, communication, time management, cognitive, and start learning to write while dieting and exercise to lose weight. Getting up early, reviewing, keeping accounts, meditation, and other behaviors have become habits in daily life.

The desk I studied

Looking back on the past seventeen years, I have experienced many ups and downs and taken many detours. Through repeated dismissals and denials, I have lost myself and become inferior and degenerated. Fortunately, I opened my eyes in time on the tail of my youthful 35-year-old and began to deliberately improve myself.

I want to use my own bloody lesson to tell myself and everyone: For marriage: Don’t find someone you don’t like because of inferiority complex. If you find that the other party is inappropriate, you must be brave and promptly determined to make a decision. And if you encounter someone who goes to the two-way direction, you must seize the opportunity in time.

In terms of growth: you can try more before the age of 30, and once you are over the age of 30, you must start to find your own advantages and dig a well deep, and replace a long-lasting effort with a long-lasting operation!

There is no way to go in life. Every step of your life counts. The difficulties you encounter today, the losses you suffer, the responsibilities you bear, the offense, the pain you endure, and every skill you learn will eventually turn into light and illuminate your path. "

Each person has two lives, one is born and one is awakening. Do you hope to create life in your prime or wake up in your twilight years!

Life does not start too late but give up too early. If you give up growing up, you will still be the same in five or ten years, but as long as you change, you may gain a new self. There is no fixed fate in life, and time will pass without tossing. So doing it is better than not doing it. But it is better than giving up. As long as there is hope in your heart, everything is the best time to start.