We all want to live happily, but unhappiness always follows us like a shadow and affects our lives. So why are you unhappy?
In the book "Allow yourself to be unhappy", clinical psychologist Mark Andre Defour summarized the following common sources of unhappiness and saw which point you hit.
1. When encountering inequality and unfair things
Sometimes, fairness is a relative situation. For example, the family conditions that we are destined to be born are in school. In our students, we feel that harder and harder can make this injustice disappear. However, after graduating from college, we find that we have to rely on hard work to buy a house and a car, and some classmates have already prepared all this. Is
unfair? In fact, this is also a kind of fairness. Because the efforts of parents are different, this gap has emerged. If this gap disappears, then the efforts of parents will become an unfair again.
So, in the face of this unhappiness, what we need to do is not compare horizontally, compare vertically with ourselves, affirm our efforts, and believe that every step forward, we are on the road to becoming better.
. In this way, the starting line cannot represent the front and back of the end.
2. The shattering of fantasy
The shattering of fantasy is probably the most obvious from the moment I stepped out of school. I thought I could solve problems with the ability to grow up, but I didn’t expect that growing up is the beginning of all problems.
When you are not as powerful as you imagined, and when your industry is not as smooth as you imagined, pain arises.
is just like what we laugh at: ideals are full, reality is backbone.
At this time, we must learn to establish flexible expectations, allow disappointment to exist, and allow ourselves to stick to our ideals.
Only by keeping hope in your heart can you not feel that life is hopeless.
3. Pay attention to the dark side of the environment
In this hodgepodge of society, all kinds of people and things will happen.
We always touch the dark side of the environment inadvertently, which is difficult for us to keep happy.
For example, the social media issues listed in "Allow yourself to be unhappy", no matter what you do, you will always hear unpleasant comments. Some people don't even care whether they understand or not, and they will make extreme remarks.
At this time, we must learn to divert our attention and not feel that we have a strong heart, so we are immersed in these dark sides. No matter what, it will affect your emotions.
4. Amplify the bad side of things
Many times, we will find that some people always make big fuss. It is obviously not a bad thing, but in their eyes, it will become a collapse of the sky and the earth.
This is not pretentiousness or deeds, but unconsciously amplifying the bad side of things. We can also call this situation disastrous thinking.
At this time, we must learn to create happiness for ourselves, such as thinking about some happy things, or simply accepting disastrous imagination and then finding the corresponding method.
Although we can work hard to make ourselves happier, you should also know that you also have the power to be unhappy. If you are willing, it is nothing great to make yourself unhappy for a while.
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