Someone once joked that it is never about work but about interpersonal relationships. Although it is a joke, it is probably the voice of many people. The reason for this is that interpersonal relationships make people feel tired because of the lack of sense of boundaries. But som

Someone once joked that it is never about work but about interpersonal relationships.

Although it is a joke, it is probably the voice of many people.

. The reason for this is that interpersonal relationships make people feel tired because of the lack of sense of boundaries.

But some people may say that some people have a strong sense of boundaries and may not be happy. Then we have to mention the book "Just the Right Boundaries" written by psychologist Alan Bracknier.

1, boundaries with society

and boundaries with society, including friends, colleagues, strangers, etc. In this boundary, we need to pay attention to two extremes, one is over-dependence and the other is over-indifference. No matter which one is, it is not a perfect boundary.

The appropriate boundaries are reflected in respecting one's own heart and respecting others' hearts. Taking both of them into consideration is a perfect distance.

You should know that if the distance is too far, it is easy to become lonely people in the crowd and lose communication, which is not conducive to our development in all aspects. But if the distance is too close, it is easy to cause a situation of wronging yourself. After all, taking anyone too seriously is a disaster.

"The Right Boundary" tells us that we can maintain flexible boundaries, that is, we can say no, or we can say yes, we can talk to others or accept other people's confidants.

Interpersonal relationships will not remain unchanged, and there is nothing black or white. Taking different boundaries according to different situations will make interpersonal relationships more harmonious.

2, boundary with family

, maintaining a boundary with family is actually a difficult thing. As the people we are closest to, we are prone to excessive dependence and easily interfere with each other's words and deeds.

This is actually a behavior that goes beyond the boundaries. Some children want to escape from their families as soon as they grow up because they feel the inappropriate boundaries at home.

There are also couples who will quarrel continuously after marriage, not because marriage is the grave of love, but because they forget to keep the boundaries.

What makes people feel even more distressing is that there is no boundary to pay for their family. Some people spend their whole lives giving for their family. When they are fifty, they realize that they have always owe them.

Maintaining the right boundaries can make everyone in the family feel respected and also feel love and care.

3. Keep the boundary with yourself

In fact, in addition to keeping the boundary with the outside world, we also need to learn to keep the boundary with ourselves. For example, when we criticize ourselves, keeping the boundary can allow us to love ourselves well and treat ourselves well.

This point is the easiest thing we ignore. A person who is truly good to himself must also learn to establish boundaries for himself, not let himself go, and not blame himself. In this way, he can keep himself in his best condition.