text | Xueluo Wuchen
Many people think that since a man is so keen on extramarital affairs, will he be happy if he divorces and really gets married to a third party?
After all, they have broken through the moral bottom line. Simply put, they have withstood the test, so this kind of relationship will generally be stronger, even if this relationship is not recognized by the world.
But in fact, not all third parties can get the desired relationship and marriage. Most of them become more painful after becoming a regular person. It is better not to become a regular person and maintain an extramarital affair.
So, is the marriage good for a woman who becomes a third party? Their real situation will tell you the truth.
01
A third party becomes a regular, always mixed with guilt
Anyone who mentions a third party is instinctively to condemn them. Although they have not violated the law, they all violate the moral bottom line, especially those women who "know three to three".
Even though they knew that doing so would bring harm to other women, they still did it for themselves.
No matter what you do, you will bear the consequences, and the third party is no exception.
A woman talked about the Internet that she was the third party that everyone called to beat. Now that she has been withered for many years, she has finally successfully become a regular person and has endured her original wife away. But not long after the good days, she felt like she had lost.
At the beginning, she was with a man for three years, and she was finally able to become a regular person. After the man's ex-wife divorced, there was no reason to care about him and became particularly tolerant.
Because they have children, if the man has no time, the ex-wife will consciously share the burden, or if there is a problem with the elderly at home, the ex-wife will also take the initiative to come and take care of it.
Because of this, although she became a regular person, her status in marriage is not high. Sometimes men and ex-wife need to spend time with their children together, and they seem to be a family, and she is just an outsider.
Many times, men go back to their ex-wife to take the initiative to see the child, but she is not easy to stop her, so she can only break her teeth and swallow it in her stomach. What makes her most uncomfortable is that every time a man goes over to see the ex-wife and the child, she feels even more guilty.
Plus, the ex-wife has always had a high status in the mind of her mother-in-law. Until now, her mother-in-law has been very indifferent to her and she can only bear it.
So, now the man seems to be married to her, but the actual relationship is very complicated. Because their marriage is based on the pain of many people, including ex-wife, children, and parents.
Look again before divorce, the man thought that as long as he did not divorce, no matter how much harm he would hurt his wife, he could recover. Moreover, when he betrayed, he basically thought of his wife's shortcomings, and he used this method to reduce his guilt.
But after the divorce, there was no way to escape this feeling of guilt, and he could not make excuses for himself. He could only make up for it while being sad.
02
The change of extramarital affair to marriage
After many third parties take office, they will feel like "turning over serfs sing". She would think: I finally became the hostess, so I should follow my own ideas.
From this point on, the identity of the third party changed, from a third party to a wife, which means that the way two people get along will also change.
There was a man and a woman like this. When she maintained an extramarital relationship with a man, the two middle-aged people were like young couples talking about each other, and they were hard to part with each other every time they met.
In the end, the man took the initiative to confess to his original wife, filed for divorce, and then got married successfully with her. But after getting married, the freshness and stimulation between them disappeared instantly.
The man complained, I saw you before, but I was not so sloppy.
The woman said, I had dressed up for an hour when I saw you before, but now we are at home every day, I can't dress up at home every day, why are you doing so much?
Because of this inconspicuous little thing, the filter of the two people's feelings for each other was broken. The perfect partner of the past did not exist at all. It was because the two people did not live together, so they could not see the true side of each other.
This is also the truth that many extramarital affairs become marriages. Once the filter disappears, the lives of the two people will definitely live the same as before, with daily life and trivial matters.
The psychological gap cannot be accepted by both the third party and the man. In the end, both of them began to regret their original choice.
03
The value in intimate relationship does not match
Some women think they are the main wife after they become regular from a third party. Since it is a formal wife, men should give priority to taking care of their own feelings and should focus on themselves in everything.
But men don’t think so. For example, in the past marriage, the ex-wife has always taken care of him and tolerated his feelings, but now the third party asks himself to give and change, which is simply impossible.
Moreover, the reason why most men have extramarital affairs is because they have money and have some personal charm, so they can successfully find a young and beautiful third party.
But because of the formalization, the third party forgot his true value and forgot whether he and the man were equal.
Men are mostly looking for a third party because they want to find excitement, not really want to find a wife. You can play with a third party and have been in love for several months or years, but you are unwilling to let the third party become a regular person, and you don’t want to divorce your original wife for the sake of the third party.
is a matter of interest on the one hand, and on the other hand, compared with the third party, the original wife and the man are more aware of the truth, and at the same time they have no calculations.
But extramarital affair may not be necessary, because some women are third parties and their minds are not very simple. If you are a woman with integrity, you cannot easily be with a married man because of temporary benefits. Men know this very well, so at some point they don’t look down on these women.
This causes few third parties to succeed, and most of the women who have already become the leader only know how to ask for and cannot exert their value.
Once they cannot meet the needs of men, the conflict between the two will appear. It is very likely that men will continue to have extramarital affairs, and the current third party has become the wife of the past, watching her husband betray him.
In summary, the marriage of a third party is not strong, and it seems happy, but it is actually a problem. If the original wife wants to look back, as long as she uses a little snack, the man will naturally return to you.
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