I remember this day accurately, like a red red fuji apple growing on the branches of the day. Based on this day, I will also think of the day of marriage, just tomorrow, which is a coincidence. Real good days are connected with illusory good days, and the ridicule of life is full of beauty. The wedding day is deliberately chosen, and the divorce day is like a random playing card, but it gives people comfort.
Today is a sunny day. The sun, which had been gloomy for several days, came out in awe. I hung the clothes I had been washing for several days into the atrium: four clothes, three were given to me by others who were unwilling to wear, and one was bought on Taobao a few years ago. When I was worn, it always fell down. My clothes are enough now to eliminate them all, but never. I like to use something until it cannot be used. Marriage is a toilet that cannot be used many years ago but has been used today.
Several wrinkled clothes are like four people who have known each other for many years hanging on an vine at the same time. The wind blows in from the back door. They touch each other disgustedly and then bounce off, as if they have caused bad luck to each other. But if I wear them on my body, they will be a thin layer, and bad luck will enter my body. Of course, the bad luck will fade into my body. The skin's tolerance and comfort for it makes them gentle and quiet.
Yes, there is wind. At about level 3, a loud sound was rubbed on the camphor tree outside the back door. Sparrows fall everywhere: on the ridge, on the chimney; on the eaves, in the yard. I couldn't tell if the sparrow in the yard today was the one from yesterday. There is a gentle and bright light in their little eyes, but I don't want to stare at it. At this time, if a few kittens roll into the yard, they will fly to the eaves in a flash.
The kittens are several months old, and when they grow up, their mothers are gone: maybe the big cat hides in order to avoid their entanglement of breastfeeding: it used to love them so much, licking their fur bit by bit, but the milk in its body cannot support the already grown kittens, and the helpless mother hides.
The villagers are renovating the newly built house. The new countryside has accumulated all the people from a village in this place. People who have not been seen for many days can now see them every day. There are always jingling sounds, and occasionally firecrackers. Some people have moved in and some are still renovating. My yard, which has been silent for 40 years, will never be as quiet as that: the disappearance of a real countryside begins with joy.
My ex-husband also has a house here, not far from my house. His house has not been renovated yet, and he has not returned home. We have been married for 20 years, and I don’t know if he has regarded my home as his. Now I bought a house for him with my royalties, but he is alone. He should treat it as his home. If it weren't for my parents' repeated persuasion, I wouldn't have bought a house for him in the village. This is , Sichuan , which is thousands of kilometers away from me, should go back thousands of kilometers away.
In my life, I have never had any dreams and have no hope for life. If you have to say one, it is divorce. The best thing about luck and glory in recent years is divorce. Divorce was originally an ordinary housework, but in the course of fate, it was magnified and put in front of people. People say I get divorced when I am famous and I am ungrateful.
There is nothing to argue about, people want to watch my life. I always look at the people who are talking about me with pity. Do they take life seriously enough? Of course, I may not be serious enough, but I have since entered a lifestyle I like. Yes, I like this quiet day without quarrel or suspicion: a day alone.
At noon, the sun shone in my room and under my bed: Xiaobai is sleeping there. Xiaobai is a rabbit. It was given to me by a friend during the Spring Festival. At that time, it was still a little bitch and timid.Now it is like the owner of this home: go out to play whenever you want, and go back to bed whenever you want.
This is my simple daily life: no dreams, no plans; sometimes I think of Dickinson, a female poet in the United States. Her days were similar to me? She spent her whole life in such tiny and in such tiny joy? But what she is lucky than me is that she has not had a 20-year marriage and has not increased her hatred for others and herself because of the marriage. But on this day and at this moment, I have no hatred at all. My heart is warm and peaceful, and has been forgiven by God.
There are many misfortunes in the world, and marriage is one of them. But no one can end this misfortune. Since ancient times, Chinese marriages have only had a simple purpose: to reproduce. But if it is just reproduction, the problem will be easy to solve. From the beginning of the fire of a person, the spirit of a person rises like a flame, and a person develops pleasure in the process of physical contact, and this pleasure is love. The requirement of reproduction is very low, and it has almost no requirement for love. But love is an inevitable thing. Two unavoidable things collided together, and tragedy will definitely occur.
A long 20-year marriage gave me enough time to examine it. Where does the deep-rooted equality start: economical? Spiritual? How do two people grow up in the process of getting along? The most basic thing: physical, appearance? Now I feel that marriage really needs a good match, and economy is second, and this can complement each other. (Love cannot do nothing but just a decoration). But the spiritual ones cannot complement each other: both of them work in the farmland, one says that the wild flowers are beautiful, and the other says that they are self-indulgent, which is not easy to deal with.
We always try to adapt the inconsistency of ideas, and there seems to be a way to do this, because living a life doesn’t require any ideas. So what about the body? The body is very important. A disabled wife will make her husband feel embarrassed: the freshness at the beginning disappears quickly, and life is poking in front of people without giving them time to breathe. Disability is an inevitable problem, and the problems it brings are also inevitable. Marriage is the closest distance between two people, and without distance, there is no ideal. And marriage requires ideals.
And who is ideal? Sometimes I don’t like the anatomy of myself and others. But I don't know what life can do except to create questions. One thing has different effects on different people: for some men, maybe it is to throw away an old dress. For a woman, she just got rid of a system, and the air she breathed was different from before.
At least I am like this. I don't know if it would be sincere to say some big and unreasonable thanks to these things. At this time, only a small piece of the sunlight was left on the bed.
text picture from the network
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