There is a gentleman working in the traffic management department. He is a section-level cadre. He has strong abilities and high education. He really wants to climb up, but he can't climb up. The leader doesn't like him and even puts his shoes on him. He felt indignant and asked me for consultation.
He has consulted me four times. Every time I consulted, I basically didn't say anything. I was listening to the contradictions and conflicts with this leader and that leader. He felt very depressed and painful.
The two psychological counselors he once consulted, taught him how to fight with his leader and taught him the skills of struggle. After listening to his four consultations, I said, "In fact, there is a way to resolve the conflicts between you and your pain." He said, "What method?" I said, "Give up your desire for power and give up your desire for power."
You fight with them because you have the desire for power, and your desire cannot be realized because you think the leader suppresses you.
It’s like when you drive a car to this place and someone stops your car, you treat the person who blocks your car as an enemy. At this time, you just need to turn around and go home. If you don’t go, give up!
Give up, sometimes it is the highest level choice.
People should not always think that giving up means running away, giving up means failure, and giving up means admitting defeat. uncertain! When you see a tiger, you admit defeat, you are a hero. When you see a tiger, you rush up to fight with the tiger. This is not called bravery, you are called recklessness and ignorance.
Then, this gentleman, you put yourself in the struggle for power and want to climb up, but those leaders do not appreciate you and do not recognize your work ability. You feel disappointed and indignant when you work hard for so long and work so much. It’s because desire is causing trouble, and the desire for power is causing trouble!
Queen of England , has the greatest rights in the world, because there are more than 50 countries in the Commonwealth. What is her full name of Queen of England ? "The United Kingdom of England and Northern Ireland and the kingdom of the territory to which it belongs" is the title of Queen, Canada, Australia, , New Zealand, , the Queen of England, that's such a great right.
and even their national anthem are "God Bless the Queen". Her rights can be said to be supreme, but she also has to face death, and she cannot hold power forever. We can see the limitation of power.
The queen died not long ago, and the queen is one year older than my mother. Yesterday I was walking on the road and chatting with a colleague, and I talked about the comparison between the queen and my mother: the queen of is one year older than my mother, but her body is far from keeping up with my mother.
How high is her status, how good her health care is, how good she lives, how good she eats, and how good her security is. But her health is far from keeping up with my mother. When I watched her videos from the past few years, she looked very old and couldn't straighten her waist.
My mother's waist is still straight, her memory is amazing, she is so good at speaking, and she sleeps soundly. I went back to my hometown not long ago and wanted to accompany my mother, so I slept on the same earthen kang with my mother. I found that she didn't get up in the middle of the night. People in their 90s and almost one hundred years old don't get up in the night. This is rare among the elderly.
We like to compare power, wealth, and reputation, but few people put health and mentality first, and a good mentality and a good body are more important than anything else.You cannot possess anything in this world and will be left to the world in the future. The only thing you can protect is your health.
This gentleman was indignant and in pain. In fact, he did not think deeply about life. He was restricted by that unit, that workplace, and that power field, and his vision was there.
When I was working in a publicity agency, I felt that I was very awesome. There was a police car in front, the leader's car, and our car behind. The police lights flashed and the police di kept ringing. Ummm, we are carrying the camera behind us. Hey, it’s very awesome. You basically don’t have to pay for food and drink. We have certain privileges.
I also felt that I was amazing at that time, but later I began to doubt my "great". This is actually a illusion, which is a illusion limited by your profession, especially the illusion limited by the rights at hand.
When you truly enjoy health, a good attitude and freedom, those things are worthless.
This time I returned to Suzhou from Shaanxi, and played with my wife all the way and went to that place to take a look. When my wife and I went to southern Anhui and took a walk to the rice fields, we said: Look how free we are! If we are unfree people, we are firmly bound by power or money and reputation, how can we have such leisurely leisurely walking in the fields? How can we see a particularly good scenery and mood experience such as rising ridges? No!
If people can pass three levels in their lives, they will be safe all the way. The road of life is peace. This peace is inner peace. You will no longer have sorrow and pain, no indignation, or no depression. Which three levels are
? The first is the power junction. is like the previous gentleman who works in the traffic management department. He has not passed the power junction. He is fascinated by power: I want to be the director, I want to be the director, I want to be the chief...
No official is light, then having an official is heavy, I don’t need to say the rest. Now that I don’t want to be an official, I’ve also been a small official, and I only now know what an official is. Although it can get some benefits, what he will lose will be much more than what he gets.
Good mentality, good body, and limited freedom, this is better than anything else. My mother’s activity space is just that. The elements in her life are very simple, but she is very happy. She has nothing, no money, no rights, no popularity, but she is particularly happy.
Now, they always say who is worth. If he died suddenly one night tonight, he died and died, how much is his body worth? Who is worth a lot of money, it's nonsense. The corpse is not worth much, and you have to pay for cremation to someone else’s crematorium.
Remember: Living rats are better than dead kings!
So, we must pass the power barrier and don’t be obsessed with power. Power is worthless. It has no benefit except for restraining your freedom, limiting your freedom in life, putting you in struggle, and not being able to remain calm in your mind and body.
So Zhuangzi refused Chu State to invite him to be the prime minister. Zhuangzi said: That's a dead turtle, I don't do it!
Zhuangzi looks at the problem from a transcendent perspective.
second level, money level. We are fascinated by power, and we are fascinated by money and wealth.
There was a person who bought several houses. He originally wanted to make money, but now he lost money. The house price fell and he was very worried. He couldn't sleep every night and couldn't sell the house. If he wanted to sell it, he would lose millions. Then he called me and said, Teacher Wang, how to solve this problem?
I listened to it and said, you are still fascinated by money. You sold it and lost some money. You figured it out. You don’t have this burden anymore. What you gain is a good mentality. Now if you want to sell, you are afraid of losing money. If you don’t sell, it’s a problem, and you regret it. In fact, it’s all money that’s making a mistake. If a person sees the money clearly, he will get real freedom. If he is spiritually free, he will not live a heavy life.
First pass the power level, then the money level. I don’t want to be an official, I don’t want to hold any rights. Just manage my heart, just manage my brain, just keep my heart.
"You must keep your heart better than keep everything, because the result of your life comes from the heart". There is no saying here that you want to keep your rights, nor that you want to keep your money.
The third level is the men and women level. It means going through the test of emotions and sex, and not falling into some abnormal feelings, nor do you fall into some seduction.
Love the country or love beauty? Some people love beauty more than love the country, some people throw away the country for the sake of beauty, and some people destroy their families and their children for evil love. Once we pass these three levels, we enter the smooth path.
And none of these three levels is easy to pass, they are all high mountains and ridges. After you turn over, you will have a smooth road. Your inner peace will come, and the road ahead will be easier.
Because after passing these three levels, people see through everything, and people enter a state of freedom and can enjoy the happiness brought to them by their inner spiritual world, rather than this tangible and appearance external world.
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Author profile
wang Guorong, a psychologist, independent scholar, writer, the founder of China's holistic psychotherapy, and the first person in China's evidence-based psychotherapy. He was the chief academic consultant of the Psychologist Magazine and a senior psychotherapist at Shanghai Boai Hospital . He is one of the most powerful and talented psychologists in China.
has published more than ten influential psychology monographs. Among them, " Breakthrough Treatment for Student Psychological Problems " was listed as a collection of books by hundreds of domestic universities such as Peking University , Tsinghua University , 50 Psychological Treatment and Adjustment Methods" won the Most Popular Book Award for Readers in the China Colleges and Universities Press Alliance, "10 Most Important Relationships in Life" was listed as a series of psychology masters by China Culture Press , and "Shaking Hands with Depression" won the Most Popular Professional Book Award for Readers.
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