Q:
I would like to ask Teacher Chen Man, what principles should men and women know when they are on blind dates?
Chen Man:
I think the following three principles will be helpful to most men and women on blind dates:
1. The closer you are, the more tolerant you are, the more distant you are, the more picky you are, the more you are, the more you are, the more you are, the more you are, the more you are, the more you are, the more you are, the less you are, the less you are, the less you are, the less you are, the less you are, the less you are, the less you are, the less you are, the less you are, the less you are, the less you are, the less you are, the less you are, the less you are, the less you are, the less you are, the less you are, the less you are, the less you are, the less you are, the less you are, the less you are, the less you are, the less you are, the less you are, the less you are, the less you are, the less you are, the less you are, the less you are, the less you are, the less you are, the less you are, the less you are, the less you are, the less you are, the less you are, the less you are, the less you are, the less you are, the less you are, the less you are, the less you are, the less you are, the less you are, the less you are, the less you are, the less you are, the less you are, the less you are, the less you are, the less you are.
is just flipped around the Internet, and there are many stories about meeting strange objects on blind dates, making people feel that there are not many normal people in this area.
But now there are so many outstanding young people who want to get out of singleness and actively go on blind dates. Where are they crowded with those who are not weird?
According to my personal observation, it is probably not that there are too many strange things in blind dates, but that there is too little patience for blind dates for men and women.
To be honest, "blind date" itself must have an anxiety background. Everyone participates in the game with purpose. To put it bluntly, it is not that they are in a hurry to get married. Who is wasting this time and energy to cause trouble for themselves!
But when people are anxious, there will be a disadvantage. You will become like tagging and quickly define others. You are too lazy to explore and understand the real person on the other side, and you are also very stingy to spend time establishing a relationship with the other party.
, you should meet people with this mentality and recognize them. Who is not weird?
He asked you to have a high-end restaurant when he met again. Do you think this person is not considerate and has no sense of boundaries. It’s so difficult to resist a supper that you don’t have any speculation?
He made an appointment with you in a coffee shop during his lunch break, and it would not waste too much time. You decided that the other party was negligent and was not serious at all. was worried that he would not be anxious or concerned about you. ;
She appeared early with a bare face. You thought that she was ungrateful and did not wear makeup. might look down on you. ;
She dressed up carefully and was a little late. You were afraid that she would not be responsible and would ignore her family in the future. might be beautiful on the surface and empty-headed. In the future, she would buy clothes and bags to be vain. ...
Even Conan could not force all kinds of trivial things to do with character and make reason immediately. But these scrutiny predictions in the minds of men and women on blind dates were like men in black, which quickly killed the two people to continue to understand each other's wishes.
Of course, our harshness on blind dates is also an instinct. Human beings are animals that are more tolerant and more unfamiliar and more picky.
is with someone close enough, and you are happy to have dinner or coffee; she is beautiful without makeup or heavy makeup in your eyes, and you feel sweet when you are on time or late... How can you feel so many rules!
You keep such a long distance from another person, you can't see clearly whether it is good or bad;
You must get close to the other party and establish a certain interactive relationship with the other party in order to accurately judge whether the other party is suitable for you.
2. Keep patient and dare to stop loss in time
. Keep patient with blind dates, use the right place, and be moderate.
For example, attraction is sometimes metaphysics. It is useless to give you the patience of the whole world.
If the other person's appearance and temperament are particularly incompatible with you, it will be uncomfortable for you to stay with him. There is no need to force contact with him. It is better to part early, but to be responsible to each other.
simply means, do not force yourself to the aura if you are not in line with it, and give you some patience when you are in aura.
Patience is mainly used to understand the other party’s basic personality, values, general conditions and other qualities that you personally care about.
As you understand, if the other party is very different, be more patient and get closer; if you become familiar with each other, the more uncomfortable you are, you don’t have to force yourself to continue to "stay patient". Just shout and stop when you should.
Although not giving a judgment to the other party too quickly is the prerequisite for increasing the success rate of blind dates, this does not mean that you are not picky at all when you meet anyone, and everyone establishes intimate relationships with the other party - How can a man and a woman with a marriage have so much time and energy to create for themselves!
3. Beware of unexpected good luck, adjust the requirements with the trend
Modern young people are very busy in their work and life, and technology has also alienated the relationship between people. In addition to those lucky people who lock in their love partner early, the young people's mate choice is indeed quite narrow. Therefore, many people hope to use blind date channels to help themselves get to know more people and get married smoothly.
But we can roughly "match" any level of objects in other places, and it will only be very different on the blind date track, and almost few things that are particularly lucky happen.
If you encounter a high-quality person who is surprisingly good and is completely different from yourself during a blind date, you should be more vigilant!
has too many bloody facts to prove to you: the domineering president will not sit in the same restaurant as you, but also the "perfect wife" played by the pig-killing plate.
After all, here are people with the same purpose, no matter whether they are scrutinizing or competitive, they are not the most simple and simple.
So if you are a man and a woman of the right age who seriously want to get married, you can try to be calm during blind dates, face your own strengths and weaknesses honestly, and then worry about whether the other party has the same degree of imperfection. If you can't meet a satisfied partner in
, you can also consider whether you have misjudgment from yourself, or you are simply unwilling to accept the existing scoring system of blind dates.
Growth sometimes means letting go of obsession, accepting your true self, and not being afraid to lower your own excessive requirements.
However, although the blind date scene is cruel, it is also very real - it is difficult for you to find a partner who exceeds your own conditions, but you are unlikely to be willing to surrender to someone who is much worse than you.
You will meet in the end, roughly a person who is comparable to you.
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