Once upon a time, there was a hot topic on Weibo : "Let's marry someone who treats you as a princess!"
What triggered the topic was a story like this:
A pregnant woman wanted to eat a box of 15 yuan ice cream, but her husband thought it was expensive and refused to buy it.
At that time, nearly 30,000 people commented on this matter. Most girls thought this sentence was right and wanted to marry a man who spoiled himself as a princess, enjoy love, and never grow up.
When she got married, Xiaojun thought so, and later she did marry such a man.
Recalling the beauty of the past, Xiaojun said happily: At that time, we ate watermelon, and every time he would give me the sweetest watermelon tip. For a long time, I thought that in marriage, women only need to enjoy love.
Now, Xiaojun has been married for nearly twenty years and is no longer treated like a princess as before. There is no longer the sweetness between her and her husband.
- In her eyes: her husband likes to complain, accuses, and has a bad temper...
- In her eyes: Xiaojun is ignorant, not diligent, has bad living habits...
For a while, the two of them even wanted to just separate.
After reading Xiaojun's story, let's go back to the initial topic "Marry someone who spoils you into a princess". How likely is this?
The most likely thing is that during the love stage and the first marriage stage, he spoils you into a princess, but over time, people will inevitably be tired and it is impossible to spoil you into a princess. Finding someone to love you until the end of the world is a dream.
After all, women can't treat the men around them as they always do.
After all, we are all ordinary people.
There is a similar story about the husband not buying ice cream for him.
In the 30-year-old career rising period, Liu Mintao chose to marry his lover and have children, became a housewife, and focused on caring for his husband and children.
For her at that time, this was the happiest way for women.
She devoted herself to her family, gave up her work and future, relied on her husband in everything, and lived a low self-esteem and hopeless life.
She said that after returning to her family, she "degenerated into a virtuous supporter who is beyond recognition."
Moreover, her husband is busy all year round, and she has only a handful of days at home, and the relationship between the two is becoming increasingly indifferent.
What really made her determined to change was also an ice cream.
She said: "When I was traveling with my ex-husband a few years ago, there was an ice cream shop in front of Kiyomizuji Temple . At that time, I wanted to have a matcha ice cream because I was penniless and could only give up."
She said regretfully: "A seven years of life following the rules have allowed me to live humble and pale in the great years that should have been full of spirit."
She made up her mind to get out of the barriers of marriage and live her own life.
After the divorce in 2014, Liu Mintao had a very difficult life. After all, she was 37 years old and it was not easy to gain a foothold in the entertainment industry where there were many beautiful women. But she did not find a support, but instead made herself stand out from one small role and a small role.
Now, when talking about the seven-year marriage again, she is also full of gratitude:
"I think whether it is exciting or improving me in my performance, the most helpful thing is actually my previous marriage... So, every experience is wealth. Thank God for giving me, I am very lucky."
In the end, it is her who made her live a brilliant life.
Only after experiencing the world do we understand: In this world, if there is someone who will always love you like a princess, that person can only be himself.
No matter in life or in marriage, only by relying on oneself can you get real long-term happiness. You are always the only one who can save you.
If happiness is tied to the love given by others, it is equivalent to handing over the right to happiness in life to others. Over time, the people who are relying on are overwhelmed and gradually cannot give out the original love. The people who rely on begin to be angry, suspicious, and wronged...
In this life, there is only one person who can be with us from birth to death and never leave us, and that is ourselves. True love and romance are learning to love yourself wholeheartedly.
We always want to have a big tree with a solid arm to rely on, but we can rely on mountains and mountains, water flow, and everyone runs. All we can rely on from beginning to end is ourselves.
We need to be our own big tree and be the one who loves us the most.
Women, don’t be spoiled princesses, you should be the queen who loves you the most, not your parents or your lover. The love you want can be given to you, and what others give is the icing on the cake.
Xiaowen especially hopes that her lover can hug her, but she never takes the initiative to express her feelings because she thinks that the hug she wants is discounted love, and only the hug her lover gives her actively represents love of 100% purity.
I said, "You can hug yourself!"
Xiaowen was very surprised: "Does the hug you give yourself count?"
Many people, like Xiaowen, think that I have to be miserable and have to hug you and love you. What's worse than this is that I fell into embracing myself, and I only love myself in this world.
I want to say: How miserable you are, you don’t love yourself.
Scientific research has proved that satisfying oneself is the same as others satisfying one's own needs in the active area where the entire brain is stimulated.
But we always feel that what others give is good, and what we earn is not good.
In fact, when we accept what others give, we always lack a little, but when we can give ourselves, we will have a kind of pride and pride.
The mentality of relying on others and waiting for parasites is no happiness at all.
The final result is to be injured, despised by others, and to die.
So, giving yourself is very important, this is the highest reward.
Many people asked: So, how can I love myself?
can start with the following six points:
1. Take yourself as the first person in charge of loving yourself and don’t expect anyone else.
2. Listen to your body's instructions, sleep, eat and exercise on time.
3. Learn to sort out and regulate your emotions.
4. Immerse yourself in nature, even if it is a pot of flowers, a flower.
5. Don't please anyone.
6. Only do things that benefit others and yourself.
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