In the movie "Journey to the West", there is a classic line: In life, everyone has their own pain, some pain is inevitable; some pain is a pit dug for themselves.
For example, the reason why many people live a very unhappy life after marriage is crying and don’t know what to do is because they are blinded by love when choosing a spouse and do not open their eyes. In response to the words, the tears shed after marriage are all water in their minds before marriage.
The reason why many people are in poor health after getting old and are plagued by illness is because they act recklessly when they are young and do not know how to take care of their bodies.
The reason why many people with children and daughters have miserable old age is because they did not become good parents when they were young, either failed to fulfill their obligations to be parents, owed their children, or spoiled their children, and raised their children to become dependents.
Education expert Makarenko said: Everything is given to children, sacrifice everything, and even sacrifice their own happiness. This is the most terrible gift parents give their children.
In fact, this is not only the most terrible gift to children, but also the most terrible gift to yourself. For children, you will always respond to their requests and sacrifice everything to fulfill their children. Let them develop the habit of finding parents when they encounter any problems, and have used to relying on their parents for everything. One day, you are gone, or you will no longer have the ability to solve everything for your children. Under your spoiling, you have lost the ability to think about yourself and even make a living. You can imagine how miserable their ending will be.
For you, do you think that children who have grown up and become parents can still do things to bite older parents, and can they still know how to be grateful and respect their parents? When you give all your money for them and put your hope of retirement completely on them, you may be disappointed or even despair, just because your children are unreliable and you have no capital for retirement.
During National Day, I went to the place where my parents worked for the holiday, and my mother was helping one of her colleagues find a house.
My mother introduced several of them, including water heaters, cooking places and air conditioners, and the housing prices are not high, which costs six or seven hundred yuan (my parents are in a small town on the coast). However, my colleagues were not satisfied and thought the rent was too high.
When my mother recommended the house she used to live in without a water heater or air conditioner, which took 40 minutes to walk from the company and rented for more than 300 yuan, they were finally satisfied.
01. The monthly income of you couple is 8,500 yuan, why can’t you even afford to rent a house worth 600 or 700 yuan?
Seeing that they chose this house, my mother felt very strange. You should know that this house seems very cheap to them, but it is very inconvenient.
"I said it all. It takes 40 minutes to walk from there to our company, and it takes more than an hour to the vegetable market. You also know that our job is to get off work in the evening shift. If we go to the evening shift, we need to get off work at 11 o'clock in the evening. You think, what time will it take to walk back? It's not early morning? When can I sleep when I wash and make things? Besides, walking in the middle of the night is not too safe! In winter, it's definitely a nightmare."
Before, my dad's company was very close to my mom and the time for get off work was very close. My dad would ride an electric bike to pick my mom up, and they could bear it. However, as my father's previous company went bankrupt and changed into a new job, it was far away from my mother's company and could not pick her up, they could not bear it.
Furthermore, there are air conditioners and water heaters, and the quality of life has also improved a lot. Not to mention anything else, given the high temperature this summer, if there were no air conditioning, my mother would not be able to imagine how they could survive it.
Finally, I can support myself without the need for subsidies from my parents. The reason why my parents are still making money outside is because they save more money for retirement first, rather than being idle too early and putting pressure on me. In this case, it is normal to improve some quality of life.
Speaking of this, my mother couldn't understand the choice of her colleague Aunt Wei. When she came to visit on the 4th, she asked: "You couple's monthly salary is 8,500 yuan, why can't you even afford a house worth 6,700 yuan?"
02. We have to control the monthly living expenses at 1,500 yuan, and the remaining money has to be provided to our son to support our family;
"The monthly living expenses of two of us are about 1,500 yuan, and sometimes we don't even have them. If we rent a house, we do half of it. How can we live?"
My mother's factory has not had good benefits in the near future. It is often on holidays and it's okay to work for five days a week. Therefore, my mother's salary is generally around 2,000 yuan, while Aunt Wei is slightly one or two hundred yuan higher than my mother. Aunt Wei is 53 years old this year. She has paid social security herself and can get nearly 2,000 yuan in pension every month.
The factory where Aunt Wei’s wife works is a large factory with good benefits and busy work. She works 12 hours a day and often needs to work overtime. Even the National Day holiday is only one day off, not to mention that there are weekends. The high-intensity work naturally brings high income. Aunt Wei’s wife’s salary is around 45,000 to 5,000 a month. On average, their monthly income can be maintained at 8,000.
Since that's the case, why is there only 1,500 living expenses? Aunt Wei told us that after they get their monthly salary, they will immediately transfer 7,000 yuan to their son in the provincial capital of their hometown.
"There is no way. The young people are under too much pressure nowadays. They are almost overwhelmed by supporting their families. I really envy you old couple, just one girl, don't worry, but we can't do it! Just to get married to him, my husband and wife emptied all the savings of decades. They sold all the two houses in their hometown, and then they collected all the bride gifts and paid the down payment for the wedding house. Do you know? The down payment alone cost 680,000, hey!"
Aunt Wei's son is currently in a first- and second-tier provincial capital. He got married last year. When buying a house, Aunt Wei told his daughter-in-law that his family was average and he really couldn't afford such a expensive school district house. However, the daughter-in-law insisted that he would not marry if he didn't buy a school district house, and complained that his parents-in-law would not consider it for his grandchildren.
"In order not to let my grandchildren lose at the starting line, and to suffer the hardships my son suffered, we thought about it, and it was right, and we gritted our teeth and endured it, all for the next generation!"
03. When we get old, we go to our son's house to support us. With our son and daughter-in-law, what else do we need?
"The down payment is 680,000 yuan, how much is the mortgage? You subsidize them so much every month, so we will pay the mortgage!"
"Not enough, the mortgage is nearly 8,000 yuan per month! My son and daughter-in-law earn a monthly income of one month! Together, it is only less than 13,000 yuan. If we don’t help paying the mortgage, how can they raise their children? How to live? "
" We are just one son. When we die, the money will be his. It’s the same for the same to give it to you sooner or later. Now we are still young and can work hard. My son has a lot of burden. We can help a little bit. He also said that we will care about our elderly care, and we don’t need to save money."
To put it bluntly, Aunt Wei’s idea is to gather the strength of people who can work hard for the whole family to win this school district house for their grandchildren and not let them lose at the starting line.
After listening to Aunt Wei’s story, I saw the smiles on their faces and learned about their longing for their future life, including living in this school district house. My mother didn’t say much.
Until Aunt Wei left, when my mother was chatting with my dad, she talked about Aunt Wei's family. After hearing this, my father disagreed with their approach: "I don't save a penny. I can't do it anymore and live in my son's house for retirement. The idea is very good. Can it really be realized? My parents earn 8,500 a month and want a son of 7,000. I don't think it's reliable. Also, how long can she do this job? If the daughter-in-law is born in the future, will she not be able to take care of the children? Alas, I think they will suffer in the future."
04. If possible, it's best not to put all the hope of retirement on the children.
" Things Lin Guangji " has a sentence: " Raise children to prevent old age, accumulate grain to prevent hunger."
Although many people now choose to save money to support their children, raising children to prevent their elderly care is still the most important way to support them. You raise me and I support you to grow old is a natural thing, and it is also a duty for children.
However, countless cases also tell us that we should not have too high expectations for our children, and we should not put all our hopes of retirement on our children. Even if your children are very filial, they may not be able to take care of you, let alone Moreover, their ideas will be affected by their partner. It is still necessary to keep some pension money in your hands. If your children are reliable, you can give it to them. If your children are not reliable, you have a way out.
END.
Topic today: What do you think of Aunt Wei’s couple’s approach? Welcome to share your views in the comment section.
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