Is there any pure friendship between the opposite sex?
Maybe you, like me, are negative about this issue.
But in our hearts, we also long to meet a confidant of the opposite sex. We do not go day and night, but we can be in tune with each other and help each other. Just as Xu Zhimo said : "I understand you, just as profound as I understand myself."
In a swaying situation, I saw Tang Dynasty female poet Li Zhi 's "Eight Poems".
"From the nearest to the far, deep to the shallow clear stream. High to the sun and the moon, close to the closest relatives to the remote couple."
Whether it is a couple, a friend, or a confidant of the opposite sex, if you want to get along well, you must grasp the distance. The key is to see from a distance without any intention, and look from a close distance without any intention.
01
Nothing can be seen from afar, only care about it.
Zhuangzi told a story.
Two fish, in the pond that is about to disappear, approach each other, and then spit bubbles to keep each other's humidity and avoid being dried.
Later, they understood that this would not resist the disappearance of the pond, so it would be better to jump out and look for the river.
"It is better to forget each other than to support each other." This is the best ending for two fish.
Confidant of the opposite sex should understand Zhuangzi's story the most. Since you cannot be a couple, then watch from afar and go out with your family.
As long as you know that in the distance, if you have a confidant who cares about yourself, you will be happy.
female poet Li Zhi , he can write poetry at the age of six. My father believed that women were talented and prone to causing trouble, so he sent her to become a monk at the Yuzhen Temple in the Yanzhong and became a female Taoist priest.
In the Taoist temple, Li Zhi has been reading hard, but when people coming and going, they feel admiration when they see her appearance.
Because of her hobby, she made friends with celebrities such as Zhu Fang , Jiaoran , Cui Huan, Xiao Shuzi, etc., and became confidants of each other.
It is gratifying that she regards talent and knowledge more than feelings and regards feelings as simple as they are. By making friends with friends, spreading your own poems.
Poet Liu Changqing said she was: "A poetic among women."
She laughed and sick Liu Changqing was: "The mountain is beautiful every day."
Who said that women are not as good as men?
Li Zhi's heroic spirit made friends admire him and dare not offend him easily. On the road of life, I met many people and had a happy relationship, but I got along with each other with the flow, just like the poem she wrote: "Love is full of the grass, and there is no place to be lush."
Similarly, the fish mysterious at that time also attracted everyone's attention with her talent and beauty. When he was still ten years old, he talked about poetry with Wen Tingyun and created a good story. The talented man Li Yi , also has some friendship.
Later, Yu Xuanji became a monk, which made those who admire her sigh. Although she had cut off her love path and had regrets in her life, she was sober in the emotional world, and being alone was also a wonderful thing.
She said : "It is easy to ask for priceless treasures, but it is rare to have a heartfelt man."
There is always some love that we can stay in the past and need to spend the rest of our lives to slowly forget. If you think of it often, just smile indifferently.
If you don’t get entangled, you won’t be hindered. If you don’t expect to be paired, you can get together and go with the flow. If you don’t get close, you won’t be injured and you won’t be able to fly into the flames.
Perhaps, the best arrangement is the distance view. A woman is like a lotus flower. In the depths of the lotus pond, men are tourists. They can hold up their cameras, take photos, and write poems to praise them. However, they are just passing by the lotus pond and will not step on the mud.
"The middle is straight and the outside is straight, without vines or branches, the fragrance is clearer from afar, the pavilion is pure, you can see it from afar without being played with it." After understanding this poem thoroughly, and then making friends with confidants of the opposite sex, you will find that the beauty of social interaction is just like this.
The relationship that cannot be held hands is like the moon in the water and the flowers in the mirror. Although it is cruel, if we endure it, we will leave a lot of beauty behind. When you get old, you will feel particularly peaceful when you recall it.
02
is not moved when you look closely, keep the bottom line.
People need to interact with people, and they need to have rules. Don’t say it explicitly, but you must understand it tacitly.
Even between husband and wife, there must be some secrets and always keep them. Even if you know, don’t ask. After all, it is a scar deep in your heart, or a hurdle that you can never overcome.
Confidants of the opposite sex are inevitably going to have a meal together, go on a trip, chat and wait. If you are moved and confess your love, it will obviously be embarrassing and even destroy each other's families.
There was a talented woman in the Tang Dynasty Liu Caichun , which is comparable to the well-known Teng . Not only can he write poetry, but he can also sing and looks beautiful.
When she grew up, she married actor Zhou Jichong. The couple is a perfect match, both have good singing voices and have the same hobbies.
When Liu Caichun met the official Yuan Zhen , his life changed drastically.
Yuan Zhen liked her : "It's even more annoying. You can sing songs to see your husband."
It's not surprising that you meet friends of the opposite sex who admire you, but Liu Caichun was moved and fell in love with Yuan Zhen, and it lasted for seven years.
Yuan Zhen, passed the imperial examination at the age of fifteen. Since childhood, he has been "loved by everyone". Before he met Liu Caichun, he had already had three marriages and was on the road to being demoted.
Reality is in front of you, but Liu Caichun can't see through it. After love, he still can't escape the fate of being abandoned. In the end, she was trapped by love and ruined herself.
, compared with the talented woman of that year, Xue Tao , is much smarter.
Yuan Zhen met Xue Tao when he was thirty-one and wrote the poem "Send to Xue Tao". Although the two of them can talk and have a good impression of each other, Xue Tao does not bother and focuses on being himself. When Yuan Zhen went to Beijing to take office, he even broke off diplomatic relations.
Xi Murong said: "The carousel is the cruelest game. There is an eternal distance between us chasing each other."
Confidant of the opposite sex is originally a distance. It is best to keep the carousel like you always see it, you can talk to each other, and you can also feel the beautiful life together, but you have never had any contact without any distance.
Perhaps, we all admit that there is an irreplaceable gap between two people, and not getting involved in it is the best arrangement left by God.
Since reality is in front of you, why not admit it? If you put aside reality, it means you have entered an illusory world and reality will abandon you.
people, they cannot live in a vacuum. You have been away for half your life and still have to return to your own home. If you have no family, you will die alone.
You are right in front of me, but I am not moved, I just pay attention to you and help you. If you don't need help, then just say hello often, it's good enough.
Li Ye , Xue Tao, Yu Xuanji, and Liu Caichun were merged by the world and called " of the Tang Dynasty".
was born in the same era, but the concept of emotions is very different. Even if you encounter the same relationship, the ending is different. The key lies in your own choice and control of your confidant's emotions.
Meeting a confidant is the most beautiful fate, but how to grasp it requires wisdom.
suggests that you should strictly do two things.
First, if you go far away, then say goodbye openly and don’t get entangled; second, if you get together, then drink tea, chat, eat, and write poems happily.
We have entered the era of free love, and it is not surprising to divorce, but we cannot meet anyone, have no family responsibility, and no rules for being a human being.
If the love lasts for a long time, how can it be together day and night?
The best feelings are in the sky and in front of you.
Author: Common people eat coarse food.
Follow my text and enter your heart.
The pictures in the article are from the Internet.
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