Keywords: My boyfriend borrowed money from me frequently. I feel wronged.
Q: Lengai Hello, I have been listening to your micro-question and answer for half a year. Now I have encountered a problem. I want to listen to your analysis. Do I belong to Gaozhang?
Please hide the photo, thank you Teacher Leng Ai.
I was 167 in 1991, 50kg college. I was divorced and single. I had a daughter and an ex-husband. I worked in sales and had an annual salary of 100,000 yuan.
The man was 177 years old and 60kg undergraduate. He relied on his own ability to buy a house in first-tier cities and hometowns, and returned a mortgage of 20,000+. He is currently engaged in the real estate industry and has an annual income of unknown.
We are all rural families and the eldest of our families.
Due to pressure from parents, the circle around me was small. At the beginning of the year, I posted a blind date post on the software. He ran to my first message to leave a message, thinking that he was very special, and the photos gave me the feeling of being clean and refreshing.
At the beginning, you can chat on WeChat, and the phone can be up to 5 hours at night.
Both of them felt good about each other. After meeting on the fifth day, they confirmed their relationship with their boyfriend and girlfriend. Because they were in a different place, they saw me in my city half a month later.
stayed for a week. During this period, he would cook and wait for me to come back from get off work to have a meal together. After dinner, he would take the garbage downstairs and go for a walk together. This feeling was very comfortable.
38 gave me lipstick, and the Chinese Valentine's Day is 520, and I usually bought him a small gift.
But something has happened frequently in the past few months, which makes me feel insecure, making me feel that I am so treated like this?
We have always been in a different place. The day before we came to see me at the end of February, I borrowed 10,000 yuan from me and said I would pay it back within a week. When I felt that people were in trouble, I lent it to him.
lent money from me one after another for various reasons, and the amount is not large. For example, if your credit card is almost overdue, it is still 2,000 yuan short of it. Do you have 1,200 yuan if you want to install an internet cable in the store?
I want to invite a friend to dinner and don’t have enough money. You give me 2000 first, and I want to change my phone later.
But he JD doesn't want to activate Baibiao , so he wants to use my credit limit to buy a mobile phone. I asked him to repay the loan himself and agreed to help him installment.
I feel very wronged in my heart and don’t know how to reject him! I am also in debt of 100,000 yuan, and I really don’t like him like this.
Teacher Leng Ai Should I break up with him?
Answer: When I saw this story, I could understand the heroine's grievances. This story is also typical. I will share from the following 3 aspects.
1, Exploitation Bureau.
Anyone who borrows money from girls during their relationship should be alert and they may have to take a taxi, because there may be pitfalls behind this.
Especially for boys who borrow money when they are in love and often borrow money, the heroine must be particularly vigilant.
In fact, in essence, the relationship between the heroine has nothing to do with love.
Because of this relationship, the man does not really aim to develop a long-term relationship. The relationship between
is more like a pit we have talked about before - the exploitation bureau.
The so-called exploitation bureau is to control and exploit the other party's money and other resources.
Especially the man said he wanted to change his phone, but he didn't want to open a white note and wanted to use the heroine's credit limit to buy a phone. This is naked exploitation.
Although at the request of the heroine, the man agreed to repay the loan in installments himself, using the heroine's quota to buy it, which is equivalent to making the heroine become the borrower in a legal sense.
1. The man doesn’t want to pay it back in the future. The heroine has to bite the bullet and return it for her own credit record.
Now the man asks the heroine to borrow thousands of yuan in the name of the heroine, which may develop into borrowing tens of thousands or hundreds of thousands of yuan in the future.
This will become increasingly risky for the heroine.
The heroine's financial situation is not very good, she is already in debt of 100,000+.
2, don’t understand the nature of rejection.
A girl said at the end of the question, "The current demand is that she feels very wronged in her heart, and she doesn't know how to reject him!"
In fact, it's not that girls don't know how to refuse, but they dare not refuse.
If the heroine is facing a boy she doesn't like so much and has poor conditions at this time, the heroine will definitely know how to refuse.
What the heroine lacks is not the way to reject people, but to reject people's confidence.
The heroine dared not refuse the boy now.
Because she felt that this boy was in good condition and was afraid that once she refused, the boy would leave her.
In fact, girls use money to maintain this relationship, and girls feel helpless.
But she knew deep down that once she didn't borrow money, this man would most likely leave her.
If it is understandable that a boy borrows 10,000 yuan from a girl for the first time to turn over, then it would be a bit strange to borrow money again and again. This is not like a man who is capable of paying a mortgage of 20,000+ per month.
The heroine may also feel that something is strange, but because the heroine feels that it is not easy to meet such a man with good conditions, the heroine is lucky, so she is unwilling to be awake, which makes herself fall into the exploitation situation.
The heroine may also have a mentality of making big profits with small things.
She felt that her conditions were not as good as those of a boy, so she wanted to hold down the boy by lending him thousands or tens of thousands of yuan when he was in trouble.
If you really hold it down, you will make a lot of money. If you don't hold it down, your losses will not be very big.
But is this boy really difficult or fake?
Even if it is really difficult, a responsible man will not let his beloved woman be wronged.
The heroine uses this kind of money to maintain this false emotion, which is actually a kind of self-deception, and this is also quite risky to the heroine.
Some girls who have encountered "pig killing" also have this mentality of making big profits with small profits. In the end, they were cheated of a lot of money, which is very sad.
3, inferiority.
A girl actually has a kind of inferiority in this relationship.
Maybe the heroine thinks she is divorced and has found a man with better conditions than herself, and she feels unworthy.
This man looks good in financial conditions, looks good, and has a good height.
The heroine wants a high-quality boy but she doesn't dare to ask for it, and she feels that she is not worthy of it.
so the heroine will aggrieved herself in this relationship.
The man can feel the heroine's inferiority.
So although he wanted to buy a mobile phone, he dared to tell the heroine that he didn't want to open a white note and wanted to use the heroine's credit limit to buy a mobile phone.
In fact, divorce is just an experience of a person.
Whether a person can live a happy life is her own life state and emotional ability, and there is no necessary relationship with whether she is divorced.
I have also seen women who are very happy to marry after divorce.
For the heroine, adjusting her life state and improving her emotional ability is the key.
Then develop feelings at your own pace, rather than being pressured by your parents.
The protagonist of your own relationship is yourself, not your parents.
If you are in love under the pressure of your parents, it is moving forward with a burden.
If you only fall in love out of your own desire, you can easily go into battle.
The above three points are responses to the above story. Wish the heroine.
Creative Team | Leng Ai Fangshang Qianxi
Illustrations in this article, any website, newspaper, television station, company, organization or individual, shall not be used in part or in whole without authorization.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-