Author: Zhao Xiaoming Editor: Yang Liyun
Xiaoming's quotes:
Because the characteristics of China's era are completely different from those of the West, it is not at the same era level. It will not work if Western psychological theories are copied to treat Chinese people.
01Three dimensions to consider when making decisions
In the 1970s, the director of the U.S. Health Bureau sent a consulting team to investigate how big the impact of television on children is.
They selected scientists from three departments:
The first is the scientific community;
The second is the media industry;
The third is the general public;
When recruiting scientists, he asked three different scientists related to psychology and sociology
When recruiting scientists, he asked three different scientists related to psychology and sociology to participate.
Then we can see from these three types of people he recruited that in order to study a psychological phenomenon , you must listen to the opinions of at least three different dimensions . The opinions of these three dimensions are very inspiring to us.
You can see that any human behavior must be considered from at least three dimensions of before making a decision. What are the three dimensions of
?
- first, sociology;
- second, psychiatry;
- third, psychology;
- third, psychology;
This means that a person's behavior has both the social impact of and the psychiatry of , that is, the influence of congenital gene inheritance, the physiological impact of brain organs, and the influence of psychology .
Nowadays, many people study psychology, and do not consider the social dimension or the mental illness dimension, but only consider a certain school of psychology.
For example, psychoanalysis only considers a certain school of psychoanalysis. Taking a person's point of view as the entire theory that affects human psychological phenomena and believes it deeply, this is bias, and this is the most common mistake in psychology.
The most common mistake in psychology is to use only one dimension to explain the phenomena of all human beings.
Psychoanalysis is divided into many schools. Kohute is a branch within a school. Some people generalize the reference to Kohute's theory to all Chinese people, and then say that all Chinese people are giant babies.
It is obvious that the person who said this has neither considered the psychiatric dimension nor the sociological dimension, nor of course he has not considered other schools in the psychological dimension.
So this kind of psychology that comes up with a school and a theory that is universally applicable is fake and inferior psychology, which is extremely undesirable.
02 The inspiration of children's education
The US government's choice of three dimensions is very inspiring to us.
There are many research on children's psychology on the market. Today's training class teaches you that children should teach this way, tomorrow's training class teaches you that children should teach that they should teach that, and then every principle is very clear.
Many people think that this is how children's education is.
is actually far from that simple. Any principle and any phenomenon in psychology have to consider multiple dimensions. Each dimension will have an impact on the person, and then distinguish how these dimensions work together on a person. This is scientific psychology.
When countless parents are rushing into countless parenting knowledge, they actually forget the most important in order to educate their children. This advantage exists in every family , but many people ignore and forget.
03What are the resources in your family?
Xiao Ming here to tell you what family inheritance genes are from a psychological perspective: genes are divided into two types, one is physiological gene inheritance, and the second is gene inheritance in family culture.
Why is it easier for this child to succeed in the officialdom in the officialdom?
Why, in the family, there is a tradition of doing business, so this child is more likely to succeed in the shopping mall?
In addition to the support of your connections, there is also a very important personality factor .
In ancient China, it was said that there will be gains if you give up. If your family has rich political resources, then in the officialdom, you will not care about small gains and losses, and you will be more brave in the exchange of power.
Because you have it, you will be generous in power and willing to empower it, which happens to be a political wisdom that is most needed in the officialdom.
Similarly, if your family has rich business market resources, in other words, if you have enough capital, you will not care about the gains and losses of small money, and you will also dare to exchange capital. You will know better how to use money to win people's hearts and buy the resources you need. This is also the principle of giving up and gaining, so that you will be more likely to succeed in the market.
Similarly, what are their richest resources for ordinary people? Farmers, migrant workers, and construction workers, their richest resources are strength and time, so they don’t care too much about giving their efforts to others. They are also generous in their efforts.
Comparing lawyers and psychologists are the least willing to give people time casually. If you want to say something more to him, he will have to calculate the money with you. Suppose you want to chat with the farmers, they are willing to talk to you.
also makes it a truth to give up and gain. If you are willing to use the most resources you are willing to use for others, you will get the resources you do not have.
So now, think about it carefully. Many parents spend time, money and energy to educate their children. There is one resource that each of our families has, that is the essence of family culture. Don’t forget to pass on such an important resource to your children.
What is the gene of your family’s cultural heritage? What is the most acceptable resource in your family culture? What is the most core experience prototype of your family?
For example, your family is a scholarly family and does not lack the inheritance of knowledge. What you are most willing to do is to output your own knowledge to others. Therefore, the biggest thing you are not stingy with your own knowledge, so the easiest shortcut to success is to use knowledge to exchange resources.
04 What is the most likely thing for people to fail
Please think about it further, why do we fail?
The most likely thing that people fail is that you does not have the family culture inheritance gene and experience prototype .
For example, the prototype of your family’s experience is originally very stingy with money, and you are reluctant to use money to exchange resources.
You are too stingy in dealing with people in the mall, you are too stingy in dealing with customers, and you are too harsh in dealing with employees, and it will be difficult for you to succeed in the mall.
Where is the most likely place for us to fail? It is the place that your experience prototype cannot reach .
Then what does the hard life mean that we ordinary people often say?
Fate pain is that you originally had a certain family inheritance of the cultural genes and experience prototype. In this regard, it is your richest innate resources. You should have given your richest resources to others, but when you are in a place where you should be generous, you are stingy and reluctant to let go, and such people will have a hard life.
Because you are reluctant to exchange your rich resources for resources that you don’t have, there will be no support from noble people in your life.
Of course, we do not rule out that there are very few people with extraordinary abilities who can break free from the genes of family culture inheritance, transcend family inheritance, and enter other fields to achieve success.
In the process of cultivating every child, we should intentionally teach the children the experiences, stories, and the cultural essence passed down by each generation. This process is called in clinical psychology . Every child should meet his ancestors .
When this child agrees with the experience of his ancestors, this child has roots. When primary school students abroad enter school, they often have a classroom exercise called drawing their own family tree , which is consistent with the core of ancient China's inheritance.
If you have the opportunity to go to Tengchong , you will see that many families have ancestral halls and are preserved very well.
and Tengchong has produced many talents, which cannot be said to be related to children's identification with family culture and cultural heritage.
can allow children to obtain the ancestral experience prototype at a critical period of their child's personality development, and it is easier for children to gain self-confidence.
Xiao Ming's quote:
Characteristics of China's Internet era and the Internet attributes of Chinese people are more obvious and strong than those of the West.
Original public account: Heart Partner (ID: xhbeap)
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