Continued with the previous article: 
The long-term disguise made me forget who I am, and what is my original intention? Does it really have a so-called future and destiny? I must have lived a happy and happy life after leaping over the dragon gate, but the reality makes me so unbearable! It seems that the belief that has always supported me slapped myself in the face! I was scared,
- was afraid that I was not as good as others,
- was afraid of others' evaluation,
- was afraid of other people's gaze, eager to pay attention but afraid of becoming the focus,
- I was even afraid of speaking in the group,
- even scared of tanning in the group,
was afraid... The inferiority complex from the bottom of my heart was like a game I set for myself, and I couldn't escape no matter how I ran away!
I really want to break free from this confinement! I really want to overcome this hurdle and want my life to sing! Dear, I muster up the courage to put my shadow in the sun for the first time, and put my depression under the eyes of everyone for the first time, and give me strength!
After I posted myself, I experienced a long period of depression. I was weak and always sad for no reason, and I had no strength at all.
9 September 3, I finished crying and called Teacher Wu Qingjiang in the early morning. Teacher Wu did not say that I disturbed him, but said, "Why is it so uncomfortable? I'm just calling me now?" Tears flowed like a twisted faucet. Even now, my condition is not very good. After Li N came back from , Quzhou , he always said that I was low in energy. Li X always said that I didn’t change it well, but I accept that I was low in energy and accepted that I didn’t change it well. I grew up slowly and gracefully, hehe!
This is my second rebirth. I began to slowly see myself. I began to slowly not be perfect at work. I began to slowly accept my imperfect self, slowly do not care about other people's gazes and evaluations, slowly do not live for others, slowly live for myself!
(three) Becoming more and more real self
So, who am I? Why am I here? Where am I going? Now I finally know that my original intention must be a perfect circle, abundant and perfect. Just by living, I have many stains and layers of wrapping. In fact, I came to experience love, and my essence is light and love.
What is happiness?
- I once thought that happiness is very ethereal, happiness cannot be seen or touched.
- also thought that if my daughter is well, I will be happy.
In fact, happiness is to be the real self, live freely, wonderfully and bloom. I am happy, just be my daughter! So, learning love and happiness is not for children, but for yourself!
Once upon a time, I was always grieving myself to please others. When I was a child, in a family with many siblings who valued boys over girls, I wanted to please my parents and gain attention. After studying, I had to study hard and gain attention. After work, I had to work hard and get attention. Even after the child had problems, I could please my children and gain a moment of peace. So, where am I? Behind the grievance is me. I have always lived for others and to be recognized by others.
Now, I am going to be a middle-aged rebellion. I have shifted my eyes from the child to myself. I want to live for myself, I want to live a real life and bloom . I want to end my sharing tonight with "When I Really Start Love Me"!
When I really started to love myself
I realized that all the pain and emotional torture,
is just a reminder: live, don’t go against your true heart.
Today I understand, this is called
real.
When I really started to love myself
I understood how rude I was to impose my wish on others.
is so rude. Even if I know that the time is not ripe,
that person is not ready yet,
Even if that person is myself,
I understood today, this is called
respect.
When I really started to love myself
I no longer desire a different life,
I know anything that happens to me,
is an invitation to my growth,
Now, I call it
mature.
When I really started to love myself
I realized that I was actually always at the right time,
The right place, everything happened just right.
This makes me calm.
Today I understand, this is called
self-confidence.
When I really start to love myself,
I no longer sacrifice my free time,
no longer outlines any grand tomorrow.
Today I only do interesting and happy things,
Do what I love and make my heart happy,
uses my way to my rhythm.
Today I understand, this is called
simple.
When I really started to love myself
I started to stay away from everything unhealthy.
Regardless of food, characters, things and environment,
I stay away from everything and keep me away from the true things.
In the past, I called this "pursuing health selfishness",
But today I understand, this is
self-love.
When I really start to love myself
I no longer continue to indulge in the past,
no longer worry about tomorrow,
Now I only live in the present where everything is happening,
Today, I live here and here,
so day after day. This is called
perfect.
When I start to truly love myself
I understand that my thoughts make me poor and sick,
But when I arouse the power of the soul,
reason becomes an important partner,
This combination I call,
The wisdom of the heart.
When I really start to love myself
We no longer have to be afraid of the differences, contradictions and problems between ourselves and others,
Because even the stars sometimes bump together,
forms a new world,
Today I understand that this is
life.
November 12, 2015
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The intellectual property of this article belongs to Love and Happiness!
