Many people understand the current social state as a human society, which is an objective understanding based on life experience. For example, when you need the help of others, if you know some special, important key people with clear meanings, then people will easily get a more convenient or even special (positive meaning) life experience.
without shyness, the current situation is indeed the case.
Then this leads to a problem, that is, we will regard relationships as important and put other people's experience first, hoping that these people who have been put in their energy, time and emotional value can give clear feedback to themselves. Although we often say that the relationship between people should be sincere and clear, and must have interactive meaning. Simply put, I am good to you and you are good to me. Only such communication has real value can be real value.
However, many people will ignore themselves and value others for various reasons, because they are very eager to get more recognition about social relationships and needs based on relationships. They are eager to be recognized and hope to gain a better life experience under the influence of this relationship.
Then, another problem will arise:
What should I do if the other party fails his expectations and just asks for it blindly?
Unfortunately, many people have a negative attitude on this issue. They will not blame others for their problems, but blame themselves for not paying enough and for not being mature enough. In short,
is their own fault. If the other party does not recognize them, it must be something wrong with them.
This sounds like a sad statement, but in fact, there are not a few people who hold this concept.
Is communication important? important.
However, how important it is is a question that needs to be thought about and judged from a rational point of view.
If we blindly believe in "there are many people who can do things" or "multiple friends and multiple ways" and other simple but straightforward views, then we will find that in the relationship we have invested a lot of energy and time, most of the existences are sorry for their investment.
Most of the social circles of ordinary people are ordinary people. The abilities of ordinary people are limited, and each has their own ideas. Is it open and upright communication or secretly calculating the subtle trade-offs of the relationship? The different mentalities and relationships between these people have caused different communication results,
What's more, the traditional cognition of "everyone sweeping the snow in front of the door, don't care about the frost on others" also makes those who hold brooms to sweep the snow without caring about the "gratitude, grudges, love and hatred" on others' tiles.
While guarding against the trap of villains, they are carefully approaching those relationships that are cautious. After getting along for a long time, they will feel the deepest experience, not about achieving something in communication, but about being tired.
yes, mental fatigue is the most real experience. Although this does not sound very "high-end" and seems to be far from the wonderful feelings mentioned by those so-called social experts, reality often forces people to accept some rules that exist on social needs, and these rules are all unspoken rules.
, that is, those things that see through but don't say it out loud will gradually deepen the complexity of their rules as people realize their social needs. Specifically, they need to Too much is taken into consideration and too much is needed.
Some people like to go straight, you have to go straight, some people like to plot, you have to cooperate with acting, different people have their own meanings, and even the extremely superficial face relationship must be handled with caution because they are inseparable from themselves.
Therefore, in the process of managing their own social relationships,
is destined to be physically and mentally exhausted.
And when people talk about "the benefits paid", they will find that most of the social relationships just nodded, smiled, say good things, and have a person who "knows what your name is". There are many relationships like this. For those old friends who seem to have been in business for a long time, you will find that the more energy you put into it, the harder you gain to achieve a "even a little balance".
Can we deny that some lucky friends have made friends, they are lucky people, and they are lucky relationships with each other, but for most people, most of the time, the social value always seems so humble. The humble you give and the humble you gain, and such humility does not seem to be possible:
When people are communicating, they always seem so humble. Most of the time, the social value always seems so humble. The humble you give and the humble you gain. There seems to be no possibility of any change in such humility:
When people are communicating When people constantly measure the process of giving and gain in this matter, people try to make themselves live a little more "indifferent" and take their efforts lightly, and maybe they can let go of their obsessions in their hearts.
However, whenever they see those who enjoy their efforts but find it difficult to respond positively, people think of the impact of these investments in their minds again.
people try their best to avoid treating social contributions and rewards as business, because people are willing to believe that making friends should be a pure relationship,
But over time, people inevitably realize that
Some people may really not be worthy of their efforts, and some people,
is not worthy of the word "friend".
The intrigue in the world is itself a kind of communication,
This kind of communication consumes energy and eliminates patience, and human nature is not worth mentioning at this time.
. All of this seems to require acceptance, but when you think about it carefully,
seems to have no reason to accept it, and you must compromise.
It is true that people cannot completely get rid of this kind of negative communication and ineffective communication.
But instead of wasting time on these issues, it is better to spend time and energy to be better for yourself.
Let yourself enjoy the time without being disturbed, so that you can understand that life does not have to compromise, and you can also gain the life experience you recognize:
When you begin to discover that those things that seemed very important are gradually losing their "value that seems to be there or not",
you will understand that some so-called mainstream communication concepts,
can be respected,
But, you don't have to force yourself to accept.
is meaningless,
plus the so-called "mainstream",
will only make such meaningless and even more sad.
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