The reader wrote to me and said:
My wife and I were in love freely and got married. During the relationship, our relationship was very good. The reason for the qualitative change in our relationship: the year after we got married, she became pregnant and I met a female netizen. Because of this incident, we have quarreled and made trouble. In the end, I chose to separate my relationship with netizens, and my wife chose to forgive me. However, every time I quarrel, my wife would still mention the incident of my cheating netizens.
When my marriage life was approaching 6th year, my wife suddenly began to violently act against me. In this case, I think my wife is a little confused. Ask her: Why did you treat me like this? Wife: Suddenly I feel that I can’t love you anymore. During this period, I tried to care and please my wife, hoping to change my marital status by doing so, but my wife was not moved at all by my efforts. Under helplessness, I could only take the initiative to file a divorce with my wife. When facing my divorce request, my wife just said lightly: OK. In this way, we divorced.
What’s ridiculous is that after three months of our divorce, my wife married my buddy. Then I realized that the reason why my wife was confident to divorce me was because she had found a next home for herself. After seeing the truth about my wife’s divorce and I, I really felt very disgusted. At the same time, I completely turned against my buddy.
Let me briefly talk about my buddy’s basic situation: at the age of marriage, because my family is poor, no girl is willing to marry him. Over the years, my brother has become a small contractor because he met a big boss and with the support of the other party, which has made him have some money and a life of having a house and a car. As for when he had contacted my wife, I really didn't find out. Because when my brother was not yet a little successful in his career, I often called him when he went to the restaurant. Because apart from me, there seems to be no one who likes him. Unexpectedly, my kindness ended up being the result of attracting the wolf into the house.
Now I see my buddy and my wife come together. To be honest, I have the intention to kill people, but after calming down, I feel that it is not worth it at all.
Muzili Emotional analysis:
Flies do not bite seamless eggs. During your ex-wife's pregnancy, you betrayed your marriage, and it was also from that time that there was a crack in the relationship between you and your ex-wife. The reason why your ex-wife did not file for divorce at that time was probably because she missed the best time to deal with her children, so she could only forgive you with hatred. One thing is for sure. Since then, your ex-wife has seen through you. She has been waiting for an opportunity to divorce you for years. In the end, your brother provoked your ex-wife and your brother made some achievements in his career later. So much so that your ex-wife has the confidence to divorce you. In this case, your ex-wife knows you better and feels that as long as you are violent to you, you will take the initiative to divorce her. In the end, your ex-wife got what she wanted.
need to admit one thing: your ex-wife divorced you and married your buddy is revenge for your cheating during her pregnancy. Although your ex-wife's revenge on you came a little late, she is also considered "a gentleman takes revenge, it's not too late for ten years." Now, no matter if you have the intention to kill someone, you still feel like you are playing around with your ex-wife, or you think that your buddy is just an ungrateful wolf, and it cannot change the reality of your divorce from your ex-wife. In this case, you can only accept the current results. In fact, there is no need to hold a grudge against your ex-wife and your brother. Ask yourself: If it weren't for the cause of your cheating during your pregnancy, there wouldn't be the result of your ex-wife divorced you and marrying your buddy six years after you got married. In the current situation, I only say two words to you: deserve it.
Many people may have divorced due to betrayal of marriage, quarrels between husband and wife, and disagreement of personality, or feel that there are too many ties between husband and wife, and give tolerance in their marriage life. In this case, it is inevitable that someone will help them find their next home with the mentality of riding a donkey and looking for a horse. Once the next home is found, they will have the confidence to get rid of the more frustrated relationships at the moment.You may feel wronged or dissatisfied about your ex-wife marrying your buddy, but it is already a reality that is difficult to change. Perhaps in the future, you will eventually have the day of reorganizing your marriage. What I can remind you is: If you meet someone you think is right, after reorganizing your family, be sure to be loyal to the marriage, at least not let yourself become a oweener in the emotional field.
For women, the few things they are most reluctant to face in their marriage life: 1) Being neglected by their husbands during their pregnancy, including their husbands’ indifference to themselves and their husbands’ cheating behavior; 2) When a woman is sick, she fails to get the care she should have; 3) A man’s ability to make money is average, the key is that he still acts lazy when facing life; 4) He is passionate in the emotional field, which makes it difficult for women to accept. Men need to understand: cheating is the top hurt between husband and wife. In the post-fraud period, the loyal party of marriage will definitely have the idea of divorce in his mind, but sometimes he chooses to endure due to the helplessness of reality. Once the party who is loyal to a marriage meets a reliable successor in his perception, he will be ruthlessly withdrawn from you.
In the adult world, there is no love for no reason, nor hatred for no reason. All love, hate and affection will be revealed through trivial matters in life. It means that every relationship has a purpose. To this end, when we want to rage in a relationship, we need to ask ourselves: Are you worthy of forgiveness by your lover? It should be admitted that in this relatively open era, when people face their marriage life, the elements of responsibility and obligation have been relatively weakened, and more often people value the interests of couples. To this end, we need to base ourselves on a loyal marriage and work harder at work. If you have done something to betray your marriage and you are relatively mediocre at the career level, ask yourself: Why should your lover forgive you?
needs to be admitted that the reason why many people are frustrated in their marriage life is to give their children face to a large extent. The key is that the harm you give to your lover is there. It doesn’t matter if you are not sorry for your lover. Many times, after doing something wrong and apologizing, people hope that their lover can ignore past grudges. The key is that the person who is hurt is the other person, not you. Think from the perspective of others: If the party who betrays the marriage is not you, but your lover, you may not be able to be generous. Many times, people lament that it is not easy to start a family, but they also need to ask themselves: Are you a qualified lover and a qualified parent in the process of running a marriage? If you have many shortcomings, how dare you expect your lover to tolerate you everywhere?
Postscript:
People live their whole lives, and never feel that there is no cause and effect. In fact, everything we do will have corresponding cause and effect. Maybe we will become wronged people who are caught in the shooting at some point, but please be sure to believe that those who you may not be able to deal with will help you deal with them. Remember: Each of us should try our best to become a person with good character, and invisibly, we will fight for the blessings we deserve.
Although sometimes we will suffer some grievances because of kindness, please believe that those who give us rampant will cause too many bad habits to accumulate in the human life level because of their misconduct. Ask: What kind of situation can a person with an inappropriate personality have and what big things can he do? This life is a process of continuous self-cultivation. At least don't let yourself be the one who is in trouble.
(The picture is from the Internet, the picture is irrelevant)
