We humans are all premature babies. Other animals can stand and then run when they are born, and can leave their mothers to feed alone in a few weeks. Humans are pregnant for ten months and then thrown out of their uterus and come naked. After birth, they will only cry, need to eat milk, and rely helplessly on their caregivers. In the first year of human beings, mothers and babies go from symbiosis to slowly separation, and come into contact with and understand the world. The experience of separation from the mother at birth is a trauma that requires the spiritual complementation of the mother and the baby to repair. Our brain needs to be filled a little bit. During this period, when the baby wants to eat (hungry), the breasts will appear, and when they don’t want them, the breasts will disappear. Then slowly we divide ourselves into two parts with our mother:
has a perfect self-I am a perfect person;
has a evil self-I am a degenerate person.
has a perfect mother-she gave me anything I wanted.
There is also a mother who is evil - she gave me nothing.
Good mothers and bad mothers are constantly changing in our brains. This experience gradually becomes a part of our character, internalized into a subconscious mind that is not easy to detect.
At the beginning of life, our relationship with our mother determines our relationship with ourselves. A good woman is prosperous for three generations, and a mother is a beam of light in her child's life.
Maybe we remember the happy expression of mother when we learn to sit, learn to turn over, and learn to walk, so many of us have the belief that only when we are excellent can we be loved. So we are committed to making ourselves excellent. We hope to impress others. We desire to be paid attention and recognized. We hope to bring joy and comfort to others. We also hope to defeat others and surpass others. We hope to show our uniqueness and even be superior. Only in this way can others love us.
Born as human beings, we should enjoy the beauty of this world, experience the various aspects of life, and feel the power given to us by nature. When you love yourself enough, you no longer have to be obsessed with other people's love to prove your love. Be able to see your true inner needs, see your own beauty, appreciate yourself and support yourself, so that you will not be obsessed with other people's identification, understanding and love for you.
Who is awakened first in my life? I know that in my life, I have enough spring sleep in the cottage. The days outside the window are delayed.
——Ming Luo Guanzhong
Life is like a dream. It is actually difficult to be awakened and see yourself. If one day, when the spring breeze outside the window blows, I think of our first appearance in the world, maybe I will give up the concern in my heart and choose to forgive everything.
The new year is coming, I hope you will fully accept yourself, you are you, and you don’t need to be better.
