Text/Xia Mo
01, Volume Start
It is easy to fall in love, but it is difficult to stay together.
When you fall in love, love is like a passionate fire, allowing two people to feel warm, happy, and feel that they can see the future with light.
However, when we stay together, we gradually discovered that the two people need to get along everywhere.
Living together, what dishes to eat, what quality quilt covers to buy, what price to wear, and how much to spend on favors have become "run-in-one" points.
, in the final analysis, is actually the running-in of "values".
The couple, who originally lived in different families, received different education and growth environments, created different preferences and personalities, and also created different values.
Moloya said: "In a happy marriage, everyone should respect the other person's interests and hobbies. It is the most ridiculous idea to think that two people can have the same thoughts, same judgments, and same desires. This is impossible and undesirable."
The larger the value gap between two people, the more likely it is to cause quarrels and conflicts in marriage.
So, whether two people can be together until old age can be seen from their "values".
02. Invisible damage caused by disagreement of values
When love arises, men and women will always attract each other for various reasons.
However, in marriage, there are frequent quarrels and frequent cold wars between the two people, which may be due to the invisible harm caused by disagreement of values.
Ai Xiansheng said: "Different opinions are the most difficult thing between people."
"values" are inconsistent. What are the manifestations?
When the "values" are not in line, one party said that she wanted to drink coffee at home and wanted to buy a coffee maker, but the other party felt that coffee was so bitter, what was good to drink, it was a waste of money.
When the "values" are not in line with each other, one party says that he has paid his salary and wants to buy a pair of shoes for his parents, while the other party says, why do you use the common property of our husband and wife to buy shoes for your parents?
When the "values" are not in line with each other, no matter how big your dreams and ideals you have, they are worthless in his eyes.
…
In life, when values are not in line with each other, the frequency of thinking between husband and wife will not be in the same direction or on the same line. Two people often quarrel over "money".
seems to be just a problem of "money", but in fact, it is a serious deviation in values. This led to two people quarrel over money everywhere.
03. How important are similar values?
If two people in love have no similar values, they often stand on their own positions and confront each other.
Then, no matter how good the love is, it will definitely be worn out.
Similar values will make two people constantly recognize each other's views and be willing to work hard for one goal.
"Dear, I Love" in Han Shangyan and Tong Nian . The two are in love, but they are opposed by Tong Nian's parents. The parents felt that the age difference between them was quite large, and the other was that they were afraid that Han Shangyan was obsessed with his career and did not know how to run a family.
, but Tong Nian tried hard to convince her parents, saying that everyone has the right to choose what kind of life they want.
She is willing to support Han Shangyan in working hard for her career, she is willing to be a small torch for him and silently contribute behind his back.
Han Shangyan was moved by her sincerity. He empathized with Tong Nian's courage, and at the same time he also gave all his love and love to her.
Tong Nian and Han Shangyan have similar values. They live passionately and are willing to work hard for each other's dreams and love, and are willing to support each other forward together.
Faraday said: "Love is both a synonym for friendship and a reliable guarantee for our struggle for a common cause. Love is a good companion in life. You and your beloved woman sleep together because of the common ideal that tie the two hearts together.”
Similar values can keep the same heart with your lover no matter how difficult the situation is when the storm comes.
There are similar values between two people, so that they can use understanding and support instead of conflict and move forward side by side in the long years.
Similar values determine how far two people can go in life.
04. On the road of life, please love someone with similar values
On the road of life, please try to love someone with similar values as you.
Because, the bigger the gap in values between people, the harder it is to move forward with each other.
Only similar values can keep getting closer to each other and understand what each other thinks better.
Tagore said: "Love is an alias for understanding. "
In life, you need to spend money everywhere. If your values are not similar, then there may be a conflict and conflict at any time.
When you are in love, no matter how much you love someone, please don't love someone with too much value gap.
The bigger the value gap, the more difficult it is for two people to accompany you for the rest of your life.
The road of a lifetime is very long. If the values are not in line, then marriage may become a cage and a shackle.
When you are together, you will be quarreled with your lover because of your values. Not only will it live a hard life, but it will also be difficult to stay with you until old age.
for the rest of your life, please love someone who has similar values to you.
, in this way, he will understand you better in life. Moreover, there will be fewer conflicts in marriage. Only by getting along with each other can we get along with each other more tacitly and get along with each other more comfortably.
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Author: Xia Mo, a new emotional mentor, psychology scholar, a popular emotional writer on the entire network of over 1 billion, a happy woman manager, focusing on emotions, gender, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law for more than ten years.
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