A good marriage / Is it a practice for two people together / Fan Junjuan 01 The marriage is unhappy, and the other half is beaten to death and does not cooperate with the change. What should I do? It is undeniable that if the couple changes their affairs together, it will be more

Good marriage / Two people practice

text / Fan Junjuan

01

The marriage is unhappy, and the other half is beaten to death and does not cooperate with the change. What should I do?

It is undeniable that if the couple has a relationship, it will be more efficient to change the two people together. So if the couple can change it together, I of course recommend that couples learn together, and the effect is the best .

But the problem is, What if another person beats him to death and doesn't cooperate ?

The other party doesn't think there is a problem or is unwilling to cooperate. If you say too much, you still think that you are looking for trouble. Things can't continue. Can you just endure this situation silently, or save enough disappointment to get a divorce?

of course not. Many times we think this way, usually for two reasons:

or feel wronged . Why do you want me to change and adapt to him? He can be himself. I have paid too much, but I don’t do it;

or you only see the other party’s problems and cannot see your own problems . You feel that everything is good, and the mistake is all in him, or my mistake is very small, and his mistake is big, so it is useless for me to change, only if he changes it.

In fact, this problem is like a problem of two monks carrying water to drink.

all want to move the bucket to the other party, all think that the other party is taking too little, and he takes too much of it himself. In the end, this matter seems to have become a chore, something that is forced to do.

But is it really a chore to change in marriage?

depends on the angle you look at the problem and change.

If you see the problem as bad and terrible, then what does it mean to let yourself live a marriage without any problems?

What does it mean if a person lives for 50 years and has never encountered any problems, nor has he encountered any setbacks?

Is this a lucky thing? Fortunately, it is not.

Fortunately, he can live easily, Unfortunately, his ability to resist frustration is like a baby . After 50 years, he may be defeated if there are any disturbances in life, because He has never had any ability to learn and cope with the method of practical .

The same goes for marriage. If you regard this as a bad thing, escape if you can, and hide if you can. You can never increase your experience. Then, after 30 years of marriage, and one year of marriage, What you increase is only the change in duration .

But if you encounter a marriage problem, you regard it as an opportunity to grow and to correct yourself .

Just like an exam, seeing those wrong questions is like a hungry tiger rushing to eat, and running over with his eyes, making it thorough. If such a person does not become a top student, who will become a top student?

So, Whether you are a top student or a poor student in your marriage depends on your attitude towards the problem.

Of course, if you want to be a top student, what should you do if the other party insists on committing suicide and becomes a poor student?

Then let him do it well. What does it have to do with you?

02

What exactly is change in marriage: Does change mean continuing to invest in the other party again?

This world has a natural law. There are so many things that a person can escape. punishment is not a failure to report, but the time has not come.

Everyone has their own destiny, You can only do what you should do , and the rest should be done. If he doesn't do it, punishment will naturally wait for him on the road to the future. People are not in a hurry, what are you anxious about?

Give a simple example. My wife feels that her husband doesn't work every day and has no sense of responsibility. She is too tired and wants her husband to become more responsible. In the past few years, she has used 70 points to work and 30 points to blame and complain about men, hoping to change him, but she is getting worse and worse. She wants to give up but can't do it for the time being.

So for her, what does the change in marriage mean? Is it that she has already paid 70+30 points and then asked her to pay 50 points? Of course,

is not. This is the biggest misunderstanding of many people. always thinks that changing means continuing to pay . This is an addition based on your already wrong way of thinking. Of course, it won't work. So what is the change?

The change at this time is to make 70 points become 50 points, 30 points become 10 points, also leave 20 points to deal with relationship issues, and leave 20 points to let yourself enjoy life . So it is equivalent to "70+30" becoming "50+10+20+20", which is a new ratio of your original 100-minute energy.

So, Change does not make you continue to make you suffer, that is not called "change", that is called "blind, busy with poverty".

The real effective change is to help you optimize your system, optimize the relationship system , reduce your efforts, improve the effectiveness of your relationship interaction, and let you master the skills and spend a little time dealing with relationship problems, and then leave blank space for your life so that you can enjoy life.

This is the purpose of our change.

Of course, you may also say, what if the other party still doesn’t cooperate?

There must be roadblocks behind all the non-cooperation. can handle what you can do within your current ability, and improve your ability to "subdue demons and eliminate demons" .

Then you can handle those you can't handle for the time being, but after your changes, you can handle them.

As for those problems that cannot be solved no matter how you improve it, it belongs to the "thousand-year giant demon" level, " is not that Diamond Diamond I advise you not to stop the porcelain from running. Thirty-six strategies are to go to ".

But at this time the key question comes again:

. Can you distinguish the level of the other party’s demonic power?

. Have you really seriously improved your ability to subdue demons? Or you will just sit there every day and think, "Oh, I'm so painful, he's a monster, but he doesn't think he's a monster, he doesn't realize he's going to change, I don't have any way."

. When you encounter the "thousand-year giant monster" level, do you have the ability to run? Or have you lost the ability to run away, because your energy and muscles have been used for many years and have shrunk, because this thousand-year-old giant monster used to boil frogs for you to warm water?

Marriage is like a big dyeing vat, and you can see who is what color .

All the problems that everyone escapes, lack of abilities, lazy thoughts, and indebted actions will eventually be returned to themselves, and no one can escape.

For those who have been fishing for trouble in the dyeing tank, then use the price of "losing such an excellent you" to let them experience the regret that they can only look up to but are difficult to climb higher. The premise is that you must first let yourself live out your light .

end

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