Text | Xueluo Wuchen
In the popular drama "Please give me your advice for the rest of my life", the love between Lin Zhixiao and Gu Wei is enviable.
Gu Wei, who was cold and reserved, was a bit childish and overbearing in front of Lin Zhixiao.
Lin Zhixiao injured her wrist by practicing the piano excessively. In order to let her recuperate, Gu Wei forced Lin Zhixiao to rest on the grounds of looking at a house. He obviously looks cold and domineering, but the solutions he comes up with are clumsy and childish.
Lin Zhixiao seems to be childish, but he can remain rational when two people have conflicts.
Gu Wei came to visit Lin Zhixiao for the first time, but because of work reasons, he told Lin's father that he could not give Lin Zhixiao's promise. Lin's father drove Gu Wei out of the house in anger.
Lin Zhixiao didn't make noises and lose his temper. Instead, he made phone calls, sent messages, and restrainedly asked Gu Wei why.
There are so many charming things about this pair of lovers: the boy is calm and mature, but occasionally childish; the girl seems innocent, but is strong and independent.
Writer Emerson said: "The first step in all the steps that lead directly to a happy family is to choose your life partner carefully and to combine the two lives wisely into one."
This is indeed the case. , whether a person's family life is happy or not has a great relationship with his partner.
In fact, whether you love the right person or not, as long as it meets the following standards, there is nothing wrong.
01
is very domineering and cares about the love between
writer Sanmao and Jose , which is enviable.
Jose is much younger than Sanmao. When the two first met, Jose was still a high school student and Sanmao was already in his junior year.
Jose fell in love with Sanmao almost at first sight. He asked Sanmao to wait for him for six years.
At that time, Sanmao did not take this agreement to heart. In her opinion, it was just a young and frivolous impulse, and she could do countless things.
So, in six years, Sanmao experienced two failed relationships, but Jose kept waiting.
Six years later, Sanmao returned to Spain. At a friend's house, the two met again, and Jose pursued Sanmao again. This time, Sanmao agreed. When
proposed, Jose faced Sanmao's various excuses and said forcefully: "I know you have a bad temper, but you have a good heart. Quarrels and fights may happen, but we still want to get married. I think so." I understand that the only way to keep you by my side is to marry you." After hearing this, Sanmao went out for a walk and agreed to Jose's proposal when he came back.
Over the years, the two lived in marriage for six years until Jose passed away.
José is a gentle man, but his occasional domineering behavior makes people even more heartbroken.
When Jose proposed marriage, there was a hint of domineering hidden in the deep affection: I love you, I want to keep you by my side, and I will marry you no matter what. Not a discussion, not a request, but a notification.
It is this domineering aspect that demonstrates Jose's full care and affection.
once read a sentence on the Internet: "If you belong to me, then it only belongs to me. I don't like sharing with others."
If you really love someone, how can you not be possessive? A little bit of domineering means caring.
However, domineering can only be one point, and if it is too much, it becomes control.
declares "I love you" domineeringly, and then generously allows you to pursue the life you want. This kind of domineering is affectionate.
02
Two parts of innocence and fun
My colleague Xiaoyu is several years younger than her husband. She usually looks like an innocent little girl and keeps calling her husband uncle.
Her husband also dotes on her like a daughter and often jokes that he has raised two daughters.
The relationship between the two people is sweet and full of fun.
However, if you think Xiaoyu is only childish, you are wrong.
Some time ago, my daughter was hospitalized and her condition was serious. Xiaoyu's husband loved his daughter so much that he became confused, suffered from insomnia, collapsed and burst into tears.
Xiaoyu, who has always been childish, did not shed a single tear. Calmly and calmly, he took his daughter to the hospital, saw experts, and formulated a treatment plan. Then comfort your loved ones, take care of the family, and become the spiritual support of the family.
An admirable girl, she uses her innocence to spice up her marriage, but she uses her strength to support her family.
However, you cannot have too much innocence. If you have too much innocence, you will become a popular "husband's baby girl" on the Internet.
"Husbands and daughters" regard the inability to take care of themselves as cuteness, and regard dependence as fun. She is proud of being spoiled by her husband and becomes an industrious "giant baby", and lives her life like a canary in a man's cage.
They are like dodders, they only know how to cling to men. In the so-called "pampering", the ability to survive independently is gradually lost. While
exiled himself, he also became a burden to the other party. Once the other party lets go, how should the "husbands and daughters" who are spoiled like giant babies deal with themselves?
In marriage, you can be childish, but you cannot really live your life as a child.
The poet Shu Ting wrote in her " To the Oak ": "If I love you, I must be a kapok near you, standing with you as the image of a tree."
In Love , if you only have maturity and rationality, you will inevitably be dull and boring. Retaining two parts of innocence is fun and a romantic adjustment in married life.
But if you really treat yourself as a child, you will be a burden to your partner and a self-exile to yourself.
If innocence is the embellishment of love, then being strong and self-sufficient is the confidence for two people to work together for a lifetime and support each other.
Smart partners, keep a little innocence to please each other, and stay strong to remain independent.
03
Seven points of rationality, maturity
Mr. Hu lives on the 16th floor. Because of a quarrel with his girlfriend, he lost control of his emotions and threw down a dishwasher in the kitchen.
The dishwasher and the pots and pans inside fell from the 16th floor, directly damaging five cars parked downstairs.
Mr. Hu’s behavior naturally caused dissatisfaction among car owners. After the car owner reported the crime, Mr. Hu was controlled by the police on suspicion of throwing objects at high altitude.
Coincidentally, a previous reversing incident on the highway was also related to a couple's quarrel.
On a certain highway, a couple had an argument while driving. The wife was so angry that she got out of the car and walked, and the husband also drove away in anger.
After driving for a while, the husband couldn't bear it anymore and wanted to go back to pick up his wife. So, the husband frantically backed up the car on the highway, backing up 2 kilometers in 5 minutes.
During this period, many cars passed by my husband’s car at high speed, which was a dangerous situation.
In the end, the police stopped the husband’s vehicle at the toll station. The husband's driver's license was deducted 12 points and he was fined 200 yuan.
Mr. Hu's irrationality not only ruined his relationship with his girlfriend, but also harmed innocent people and brought disaster to himself. And the impulsive husband who reversed his car on the highway almost caused a disaster.
In fact, many tragedies involving love and hatred are all caused by deep love and loss of reason.
Falling in love is beautiful, but love brain is sad. A mature partner will never lose his mind because of love.
Writer Yu Dafu said: "Reason without emotion is a gold nugget without luster. Emotion without reason is a wild horse without a stirrup."
If romance is the preservative of love, then reason is the firewall of love.
Even if you are deeply in love, you must also maintain your rationality. Only in this way can we love fully.
04
Bacon said: "People cannot extinguish love, nor can they be obsessed with love."
In a good love, two people achieve each other's success; in a bad love, two people hurt each other.
A good love must have a good partner.
A good partner Couples have care, trust, and mutual success.
Because they care, they remain possessive and domineering; because they trust, they remain innocent and dependent on each other; because they want to achieve each other, their love goes deep. , still have to keep some sense in
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