Someone asked: "Why do people prefer silence as they grow older?"
The upvoted answer is: "Because some people have nothing to say, and some people have nothing to say."
When you become an adult, you will find that around you Many people are not gregarious and don't like to talk. Even among the group, they are unknown.
If you think that they are worthless people and not worth dating, you are totally wrong. Taking a high look at them and learning from their strengths is the wisest thing to do.
01
People who don’t like to talk don’t mean they don’t talk, but they stick to their words.
During the Eastern Jin Dynasty, there was a painter named Gu Kaizhi, whose behavior was somewhat "abnormal."
For example, he drew a character and couldn't draw eyes for many years. He added three extra beards to the portrait of Minister Pei Kai and said it was "especially expressive".
Once, Wa Coffin Temple wanted to expand its scale and held a general meeting and called on everyone to raise funds.
You give me ten yuan, and I’ll give you a hundred yuan. It’s very lively at the entrance of the temple.
Gu Kaizhi walked to the door and wrote "I want to donate one million."
The monks were very confused, where would a poor painter get money? Gu Kaizhi took his time and painted on the walls, and closed the courtyard door so that no one could see it.
More than a month later, Gu Kaizhi sent a message: "Those who come to see the painting on the first day will be given one hundred thousand, those who come to see the painting on the second day will be given fifty thousand, and those who come to see the painting on the third day will be given whatever they want... ...I'm going to paint the eyes of Vimalakirti."
People from hundreds of miles around, as well as some officials and wealthy people from far away, made a special trip to see Kaizhi paint his eyes, and donated more than one million yuan.
As the saying goes: "Without faith, people are in danger, and lawlessness brings chaos to the country."
If a person speaks but cannot do it, no matter how much he says in the future, it will be just nonsense. Therefore, before speaking, you must have a plan to see if you have lied, whether you can do it, and what the outcome will be after speaking.
People who don’t talk much and like to be alone are actually just thinking independently.
When we don’t know what to do, we always force ourselves to “be quiet” and then we will think of a solution. If you open your mouth again, you will solve the problem.
makes "quiet and quiet" the norm, and the spirit of being responsible for words will be more vividly reflected. To outsiders, it seems strange that you don't speak or suddenly become "dumb", but you know it well and don't feel strange.
02
People who don’t like to talk are not out of touch with others, but rather stay away from groups with different views.
Perhaps, you will think this: a person who is not gregarious is always alone, refuses all social interactions, is used to being arbitrary at work, and rarely communicates with colleagues.
In fact, being unsociable is an attitude, and it does not necessarily mean disappearing into the group, or living alone in the mountains without paying attention to worldly affairs.
The famous Confucian scholar Zheng Xuan of the Eastern Han Dynasty showed signs of being unsociable since he was a child.
When he was eleven or twelve years old, he and his mother went to a relative's house for a banquet. Everyone was dressed up beautifully and talked about the vast world. Only he was indifferent. The mother felt embarrassed and asked him to say something.
He said: "This is not my ambition."
Judging from Zheng Xuan's life history, he did not reject the group.
When he was a teenager, he studied under the names of Zhang Gongzu, Ma Rong, and others. As an adult, he traveled to many places to study, set up schools, and gave lectures in person.
After reaching middle age, he avoided the "troubled times" and wrote books and studied academics behind closed doors. He annotated "Mao Shi Jian", "Zhou Rites", " Etiquette", " Rites" and other books.
Everyone has his own ideas and his own way to go. If you go east to see the sunrise, and others want to go west to see the wind and sand, why should you force yourself to follow others?
If the current situation is different and your age is different, your three views will also change, and you are likely to be "out of tune" with the times. If you force yourself to be gregarious, you will definitely feel uncomfortable. It is better to stay away from the group and make yourself better.After a while, when people of the same level come to interact with you, life becomes more lively.
To put it simply, smart people can "go to any mountain and sing any song", and they can also "stand on their own and pull up the mountain by themselves."
can "throw it while walking" for the group it is currently in. When your own level becomes higher, you give up on lower-level groups. When everyone in the group has "changed their taste", you can decisively quit.
For example, a group of students who mainly show off their grades is not suitable for students with poor financial status; when meeting a group of students who flatter each other at work, it is best to hide themselves.
03
People who don't like to talk are not without opinions, but they stay away from "people who talk too much".
"Zeng Guang Xian Wen" writes: "Right and wrong are just for talking more, and troubles are caused by being too strong."
When a person cannot control his own mouth, he will be taken advantage of by others, or at least he will seize the opportunity to talk.
In the third chapter of " Zuixingshi ", there is a Qian scholar who makes a living by teaching.
With the help of well-intentioned people, he married Shuniang, the daughter of a rich man's family.
Shu Niang was unhappy every day because before she got married, she was betrothed to a man named Tang Xiaochun. But her elders went back on their word and forced her to marry Qian Xiucai.
One day, Qian Xiucai invited a group of adult students to drink. Tell everything about everything between husband and wife.
A student named Yu Lin, like a ghost, took advantage of the night and pretended to be Tang Xiaochun and deceived Shu Niang away. Qian Xiucai's marriage also disappeared because of this.
When there are many people, the loudest people are also the most likely to cause trouble; those who hide in corners and watch the "show" can protect themselves wisely and have the opportunity to seize other people's words and counterattack others. Comparing the two, it is obvious who is right and who is wrong.
We can hear other people's words, but we cannot hear other people's "voices." We can only rely on "understanding and judgment." Therefore, being an inconspicuous "social person" is an amazing ability.
04
There is a very philosophical saying in the comic " Natsume's Book of Friends ": "I must admit that most of my life is lonely. Trying to grow up is the best game that can be played in loneliness. "
People who are used to being alone are rich and quiet inside, and they are not lonely; people who go to the group are restless inside, looking at people's faces and listening to them. Talking nonsense to yourself will make you feel lonely.
As a human being, you should follow your heart's desires and don't let yourself be drowned in the sea of people.
Author: Commoner.
Pay attention to my words and enter your heart.
The pictures in the article come from the Internet.
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