This is the 326th true story of "Selfies". Hello everyone, I am Aihua. I am 61 years old and now live in France. I have experienced many extraordinary things in my life, and many people have suggested that I write them down. I have also been thinking about writing a memoir, and n

I, divorced at the age of 31, refused to be kept, went to France to work, and changed the fate of my family by myself

original 2022-08-26 10:10·Selfie

This is the 326th true story of "Selfie"

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Aihua/Oral

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Hello everyone, I am Aihua (@Aihua’s French Life). I am 61 years old and now I have settled in France. I have experienced many extraordinary things in my life, and many people have suggested that I write them down. I have also been thinking about writing a memoir, and now I will tell you about it.

this is me.

I was born in Qingdao, Shandong Province. I am the third eldest child in my family. My father is in the army and my mother is in the army and has no job. In the 1960s, objectively speaking, family conditions should be good. But my mother is a very traditional woman. My grandmother and grandfather are both farmers. She also has three younger brothers, who are only three or four years older than me. In order to support my grandma's family, my mother bought a sewing machine to do processing work at home, so I started helping the family when I was 6 years old. At that time, I was very short and couldn't reach the sewing machine, so I put a pillow under the chair to cushion me.

Because I have to work quickly to earn money to support my mother’s brothers, I have to go home and work every day after school. Every day, it’s two o’clock and one line. I put my schoolbag on my back and go to school. After school, I rush home and lie down on the machine. This kind of life It wasn't until I was 20 years old that I had my own job. Because I had to work, I lacked a lot of contact with my peers. This isolation also caused my later tragedies.

When I was young, I had very good grades. Every time my teacher assigned me a composition question, I would be asked to write it out for my classmates as a demonstration. I have been interested in literature since I was a child. Every time the teacher asked me about the central idea after reading the text, my answer was encouraged by the teacher, and I loved learning even more.

But my parents were both from rural areas and didn’t think there was any way out through studying. So I had to finish my homework every day after school before I could study, and I had to study secretly. We had a cubicle at home, and after I finished my homework, I would secretly read in the cubicle. At that time, my teacher even came to my door to persuade me. My parents felt that there had never been a college student in the family, and there was no need for college students. To get into college, I had to make up classes, which would take up time from work. It was better to work early than to go to college. They did not agree to make up classes. Without the support from my family, I failed to get into college by the last four points.

When I was 14 years old.

Fortunately, Qingdao National Cotton Factory No. 5 was recruiting workers at that time, so they recruited me. So in 1980, when I was 19 years old, I joined the workforce. I have always regretted not going to college. After I started working, I started going to night school to learn computers and business management, trying my best to supplement my knowledge. Later, our factory held an intelligence competition to test encyclopedia knowledge, and I won the first place in an employee competition with 700 people. It was held many times later, and I won the prize every time.

won these awards and looked pretty good. I became somewhat famous in the factory and my ex-husband began to pursue me. Before my ex-husband started chasing me, a group of colleagues were discussing me and saying that I had become a star in the factory. My ex-husband boasted and said, just wait and see, I will definitely be able to chase her. My parents also went to inquire about his family situation, and found that there were fights in their family all day long, and benches would fly into the street at every turn. My motives were impure and my family environment was not good. My dad kept telling me repeatedly that I must not agree, but I was too naive at the time.

In order to pursue me, my ex-husband stopped me at the door of the dormitory and cafeteria every day, and wrote me love letters that could be bound to cost. And he is the kind of person who looks very much like an intellectual. He wears gold-rimmed glasses. His writing is very good, and his calligraphy is also very beautiful. I quickly fell in love and thought I had met the true love of my life. I stayed with him despite my family's objections.I was 23 years old when I got married. On the day of the wedding, we didn’t have a banquet. My parents said that if you marry him, you should never enter this family again. My dad burst into tears and said that a good daughter was ruined. My mom didn’t look at me. , threw out two quilts and an old bicycle from the door, and I moved into his house with these things.

After getting married, the nightmare began. Once I went out with him, and after we came back, he kept asking me why there was a man on the bus who kept looking at me. I said I didn't know the man, and he took the clothes I had just changed and chopped them up with scissors, saying that I was dressed too provocatively. Later, when I had a child, he would beat me and the child almost once a month when he was drunk. When he came home drunk and looked very irritable, I would hide under the bed with the child in my arms and not dare to come out. After the domestic violence, he would often beg me again, saying that he loved me too much and was afraid of losing me, and promised that he would change. It was not until the end that I realized that this person would be like this for the rest of his life, but I have been struggling to stop. divorce.

But I never thought that my weakness did not lead to a peaceful life. After eight full years of torture, I was finally kicked out. One day he came home and told me that he wanted to divorce me. Later I found out that he was actually in love with another woman, who was better off than me and was a doctor. Later, we went to the court to negotiate a divorce, and the court told me that the house he and I lived in could not be divided between me because it was in my father-in-law's name. My ex-husband didn’t want children, so I left the house with my children and was kicked out.

In 1992, divorce still looked like falling into an abyss for a woman, but the moment I opened the court door, the sky was clear. I saw white clouds and blue sky, and I immediately laughed. When I came out, I felt like the mountain on my shoulders had been knocked down. I felt like I had broken out of the birdcage. I felt very happy.

Before the divorce, I spent all my savings on house decoration, so I was penniless after the divorce. There was no place to live, so I had no choice but to go back to my parents’ home. My parents, brothers and sisters have all seen my suffering over the years, but now that I have returned with nothing and a child, my whole family is so angry that they are angry. My father said that he could recognize me, but he could not recognize me as his son. He must send his son back, otherwise he would not let me enter this house. I know my dad is thinking about me. I don’t have a house and I have to raise a son. It’s hard to live and it’s hard to remarry. But forcibly sending him back will only make his son's life difficult. A mother cannot live without her son.

My father was very resolute, so I had no choice but to wander the streets with my children, staying overnight, and begging good colleagues to take us in, but they also had their own families and could not take us in for a long time. My son and I slept in different people's homes every night. My son was 7 years old at the time and still needed someone to take care of him. I had no time to take care of my child while I was at work. The factory happened to be going through the layoff procedures. Those who actively chose to be laid off could get a subsidy, so I applied for layoff.

The wholesale market where I sell steamed buns has been renovated.

I stayed at my colleague’s house for a week. At that time, Qingdao had a very prosperous wholesale market, so I wanted to start a small business to support myself and my son, renting It is a front room where you can stay at night and do business during the day. After hearing what happened to me, the landlord felt sorry for me and said he wouldn't want my rent until he had money. But that facade house had no sewer pipes, and two-thirds of the space was underground. There was a small window leading to the ground. It was very dark and the lights needed to be turned on during the day. The landlord said it would be difficult to live here, but I said it didn't matter. I was just lucky to be able to give me a place to stay. My son and I take off the door panel and put it on a chair as a bed board every day. We don't dare to move when we lie down. If we move, it will fall to the ground. You will sleep more soundly on the side against the wall. During the day, I have to do business and my son has to go to school, so I need to be in a better mental state, so my son and I take turns sleeping against the wall.

Just like that, with the laid-off subsidy and a little borrowed money, I bought an iron bucket, dug mud in the park to make a stove, bought a few bags of flour, and bought a small cart. Every day at 4 o'clock Get up, make buns, send the children to school after wrapping them, and then push the cart to the wholesale market to sell.

And something happened in the middle that made me swear that I must rely on myself in this life. Winter came two months after the divorce. There was no heating in the front room. The weather in Qingdao was very cold. My son’s lips turned blue from the cold. I couldn’t bear it, so I went to my ex-husband’s house to beg him to take my son back to warm him up. , I will take my son back when I have money. I knelt down for him at that time. He laughed loudly and said that my heart was as high as the sky and my life was as thin as paper. He closed the door with his hand. From that moment on, I thought, I can’t rely on anyone in this life but myself.

The steamed buns I make.

Because the steamed buns are very beautiful, everyone is willing to buy my steamed buns. There is a man who often drives a beautiful car to buy my steamed buns. Later he asked me that I don’t look like a migrant worker. , why do you do such hard work? I told him my experience, and he showed kindness to me and offered to transfer money to help me, but I said thank you for your kindness, but I have to rely on myself. Later, when I first went to France, someone also said I was pretty, and I could find a big boss to take care of me without having to work. But after these things, I vowed not to rely on others anymore, and I refused them all.

The business of steamed buns is getting better and better. After about half a year, the lives of my son and I have improved, and we can have enough food and clothing. In this way, we have slowly overcome this difficulty. Since one person is too busy, I adopted two 15- and 16-year-old children who were picking up rags on the street, cleaned them up, and asked them to help me pick up and drop off my son. They also live in this basement together, eat together, and have their wages paid to them. They came from the Yimeng Mountain area and their families were very poor. Later we became a family and treated them like younger brothers. Every Chinese New Year I would buy them new year’s goods and take them home. After I stopped running the steamed stuffed bun shop, I also brought them with me when I opened a factory. Stay with them until they get married and have children.

In 1993, my cousin came to Qingdao, and I took my nephew and son to play on the Zhanqiao.

After two years of running the bun shop, the street was relocated and I lost my job again. This time, on the recommendation of my classmates, I went to work as a salesperson in a sales materials company. The probation period was three months, and after three months, I was directly promoted from salesperson to sales manager. In the past three months, I traveled everywhere with my contract. I traveled almost everywhere around Shandong Province. I visited anything that might be related to this industry, such as shopping malls, construction sites, and material markets. Every time I went out, I could After bringing back the contract, I alone could sell 50% of the company's sales in this quarter.

At the commendation meeting, my boss asked me to tell everyone why I could achieve such a difficult target. I said that I just followed the principles taught in the training class, "try every possible means to run, speak a thousand words to sell", and tried every means to sell me. products. The boss then asked me. Other salespeople had commented that the funds were simply not enough, but I had never reimbursed the rental fees. How did I do this? I said it only cost two yuan to take a tricycle. She then asked me how I managed to make so many journeys. I said leave early and sleep late. I basically slept on the bus and was reluctant to stay in a hotel. This was my "thousands of miles of running". The boss slapped the desk and said that when he was giving training to all of you, she was the only one who listened, the only one who followed it, the only one who succeeded, so today she is your sales director, and you will follow her from now on. In this way, I not only stayed, but also became the head of the sales department.

After working in this company for two years, I accumulated a large number of customers. Later, at the suggestion of my colleagues, we jointly opened a decorative materials factory in the countryside, and I was responsible for sales.Not long after, I got a big deal for a Linyi four-star hotel. The other party promised that we would be responsible for all the decoration materials. After signing the contract with them, I was very happy. After this order was completed, I would have an income of 500,000. In 1995, I was able to earn so much money and be considered a master. I was really excited. I felt that I could finally turn over after enduring the humiliation for so long.

But this was a big business. I didn’t have that much money at the time, so I borrowed it everywhere, including all the relatives and friends around me who could borrow it. I invested all my savings and borrowed another 100,000. Yuan, and put everything into production at full capacity. The other party promised to settle the project payment in three installments, namely 30%, 30% and 40%. I got the first payment, but when I went to get it the second time, the hotel contractor took the money and ran away. When I arrived at the door of the hotel, the hotel had already been sealed. I sat down on the ground without any strength. I was completely stunned, and I didn’t know how I got back to the factory. The factory workers all looked at me. They were all villagers from the surrounding area and their families were very poor. They were all waiting for this salary to support their families. I resolutely sold the factory equipment and even the sewing machine I used at home and gave them a salary. wages, and the factory was dissolved. Just like that, I was penniless again.

But the salary can be paid, but the 100,000 yuan owed cannot be made up. After learning that the contractor ran away, my neighbor who lent me money came to collect the debt. After I walked into the house, the eldest sister looked at me and scolded me for having the nerve to come back. She pointed at my nose and scolded me for being embarrassed, making me almost die. I know that my eldest sister wanted to show off to the neighbors and give them an explanation, but I was really under too much pressure at the time, very desperate, and really felt like there was no way out. After the neighbor left, I walked to the drugstore alone and told the clerk that I wanted to buy sleeping pills. Seeing my mental state, the clerk told me that I didn’t have the medicine. I thought there was another way without sleeping pills, so I walked to the seaside pier. I want to jump into the sea and run away. When I was about to jump, my phone rang. It was a call from my son. I picked it up and my son asked me when I would come home to celebrate his birthday. I remembered that today was my son's birthday, and I couldn't let my son's birthday turn into the anniversary of my mother's death, so I gave up on committing suicide. If it hadn't been for this timely phone call, I might have died long ago.

Photos of my son’s fourth birthday. I celebrate his birthday every year.

In order to pay back the money as soon as possible, I was willing to endure no matter how hard it was. I continued to search for jobs in the job market every day. I would go to anyone with a higher salary. One of them was a sales management position in a cosmetics business center. 1,700 a month plus commission was the highest, so I went over and said I wanted to apply. But this position requires graduates from a college and business school, and requires dealing with foreigners and speaking English. I don't meet the conditions. I begged the hiring manager to give me a chance. I didn’t want a salary. They just wanted to give me 300 yuan for living expenses, which was enough to allow me to eat and take public transportation. I would complete the sales tasks set by them within three months. If I didn’t complete it, I would leave on my own. Later, the manager found the boss, who was a woman. I told her about my experience. She shed tears after listening to it, and then told the hiring manager to give me this opportunity and let me try it. After I got the chance to try out

, I took over the bad debts left by my previous salesmen. In order to collect the money, I would always wait in the mall manager’s office. Regardless of whether I was off work or not, I would go up and follow up whenever I had the chance. The shopping mall manager reconciled the accounts, and just by working hard little by little, I got back all the bad debts that the boss thought was impossible to recover. I passed the trial period of without any doubt, and my boss also upgraded me, gave me a salary increase, and finally gave me a separate office and three subordinates to take care of debt collection, settlement, and balance issues.

I think I have the ability to express myself with words, and I also like to use my brain. I often think about what kind of tone and what kind of method can impress others. I am also very diligent and willing to spend time, and later I did it again. Sales Director.In the end, when I left my job and went to France, at the company-wide farewell party, my boss gave me a message: You are a seed that can sprout even on rocks.

has worked in this company for two years. Although the salary is not low, it is still a drop in the bucket compared to my 100,000 yuan debt. In the four years after the canteen closed, my son and I lived in a firewood house next to my mother’s house that had been renovated. In the winter, when I woke up in the morning, the towels in the basin were frozen, and in the summer evenings, I couldn't sleep until two or three o'clock in the middle of the night. It was so difficult, but in the end I still had a debt of 70,000 yuan. At this time, my son was 16 years old and entered a rebellious stage. The divorce between my ex-husband and I hurt him a lot, and my family has always hated my ex-husband. This emotion was also vented on my son. He has always had a low self-esteem and did not study well. He graduated from junior high school but did not enter high school, and spent his days hanging out on the streets as a gangster.

The dilapidated house behind the child was the firewood house where I lived for 4 years.

Although I should be able to pay off the debt after working for another three years, buying another house in Qingdao seems to be far away. Even if I buy a house desperately in the future, the family only has one house, and it will not be easy for my son. Get a wife. At this time, I learned about an intermediary company that introduced Chinese people to France. At that time, the salary in France was more than 1,000 euros a month, which was equivalent to ten times my monthly salary in China. If I could work in France, my debt would be reduced. I could pay it off within the year and still save money, and I really wanted to give my son a new living environment so that he could have a chance to start over, so I decided to go abroad. Later, people always asked me why I chose France. In fact, I had no choice at that time. I only knew France.

When I suggested to my parents that I was going to France, both my parents cried. My dad was in very bad health at the time. I might not be able to give my dad a happy ending if I leave. I will give my dad a long life. Kneel down. My dad cried loudly and said, "My child, you should go quickly. You have heard all the gossip and rolled your eyes. You will never get ahead here, so you should go quickly." Three months after I arrived in Paris, my father died of illness. Not being able to send my father off has become a regret in my life, so now I am doubly nice to my mother. Before the epidemic, as long as she said she wanted me to come back for something, , I will fly over to accompany her.

Before leaving for Paris, I took a flight to Beijing to visit Beijing.

Before going abroad, my mother found a way to borrow more than 10,000 yuan for me. With this money, I went to Paris, France, on July 3, 1999. At that time, the agency's job was to apply for visas. Then when you arrive in France, they will first give you a dormitory to live in, and introduce you to jobs such as cleaning. There were three people who went with me, and they were introduced to wash dishes in bars and restaurants. The agency said that I I looked young and could introduce me to a big boss. I said that if I were this kind of person, I would not come to France. The agent asked me what I wanted to do and I said I wanted to go to school. They all laughed.

The next day, I took more than 10,000 yuan in my hand and went to the French school next door. I used all the money to pay the tuition. In my eyes, now that I have come to France, I have to enter this society. I don’t want to continue working for the Chinese. Others have stayed in France through their own hard work. If I work for them again, I will not be able to compete with the French society. In contact, I would inevitably have to rely on others. I didn't want to, and I wanted to step out of this situation, so I resolutely chose the path of learning the language and entering French society.

Facts have proved that I was right. Three months later, I found a job in a French restaurant on my own and became the first person introduced by the agency to enter French society on my own within one year. , I established a foothold, picked up my son, and took my mother to France for a tour. Later, I opened a Chinese restaurant and it was reported by the newspaper. If I hadn't made such a firm choice, none of these achievements would have been possible.

When I first arrived in France, I went to the Buddhist temple to burn incense and pray.One term of

language school lasted three months. During the three months of learning the language, I hardly chatted with anyone. I just went to the French school every day, and then took the French book to endorse on the Seine River , and used the rest Take some time to do odd jobs like cleaning. But the money I earned from odd jobs was too little. When I didn’t have money to eat, I would go to the farmer’s market to pick up leftovers. The owners of the farmer's market are very friendly to me. When I go to pick up leftovers, they will wave me over and give me the leftovers sold that day.

I observed that some Arabs and black people did not receive such treatment. I thought that they liked Chinese people, which further convinced me that I should enter French society. I should give full play to my unique value when I go to a strange place. If I am still working among the Chinese, I have not come out, which is no different from not going abroad. Many people like me came to France to work for more than ten years, and then returned after paying off their debts. They had no contact with French society at all. I don’t want to be like them.

In the process of learning a language, I often brought a dictionary with me and went into every store on the street to ask if they were hiring workers. If I didn’t understand or speak something, I would look it up in the dictionary. In this way, I I can practice my French, and secondly, I can also find a job. By the third month, I found a job in a French restaurant. I cherish this hard-won job very much. I work very hard every day. My boss thinks that I am a very responsible and down-to-earth woman and appreciates me very much.

I was in a French restaurant.

The visa the agency issued for me was a three-month visit visa. When the visa expired and I had no new reason to renew it, I became a blackmailer without identity. I lived in the storage room of a French restaurant owner and slept on the ground in a cardboard box. Without an identity, I could only ask the boss to rent a house for me. One day he said he wanted to introduce me to his neighbors in the countryside. Once I come here, I will have a legitimate status to stay in France. His neighbor was widowed and had a daughter. He needed a woman like me to support his life. I asked him if he had any bad habits. The boss told me that he was a loyal man. I thought that was enough.

When I met his neighbor, who is now my husband, I knew that I was looking for exactly the kind of person I was looking for. We shook hands when we met. His hands were big, thick, warm, and had many calluses. I thought to myself, if a man's hands are white and tender, then he is an idle person, no matter how good the conditions are, he can't get it. But this man's hands look very hard-working. It doesn't matter if he doesn't have money, I will make money. As long as he supports me and cooperates with me, that's fine.

My husband also had the same idea as me. He recognized me when he saw me. He later told me that he fell in love with me at first sight. His grandfather had always longed for China, which deeply affected him. I told him that I have a son, and as long as he can accept my son, be good to my son, and give us a warm home, I will marry him. And he asked me: How could I not be good to my children? The child is innocent, the parents are divorced but the child is not at fault. In September 2000, we got married, and he personally flew back to China to take his son to France.

My husband and I fell in love at first sight.

But my husband is not rich, he just has a stable job. After his ex-wife left, he and his daughter lived a very decadent life. When I went to the house where he lived, the house was full of garbage and the yard was overgrown with weeds. I spent the first three days in his house cleaning. Three pickup truckloads of trash were hauled away.

His daughter told me that they had no money. I told his daughter that it doesn’t matter if she doesn’t have money. I will make money. I believe that I will make you live a good life. Later, I did it.

In 2001, my husband and I got married.

But finding a job is indeed a problem. My husband’s home is not in Paris, but in Baudonviler, which is more than 3 hours away from Paris by train, and you have to change trains. It is the last stop of the train line, which means this place Just a countryside. There is no Chinese here, there is no industry, and it is not as prosperous as Paris.

It is easy to do any job in Paris, but it is difficult to find a job here. I read the local newspaper every day for recruitment information, and also went to supermarkets and other places to inquire, but there were no jobs. I was very anxious. Then I saw a competition looking for volunteers, and I signed up immediately, even though the competition venue was more than 70 meters away from my home. kilometer.

works as a volunteer in the mountains.

At that time, I was working as a helper in the kitchen. Volunteers were paid based on the number of hours worked. They worked for 8 hours a day. The French are very punctual. After 8 hours, they will leave even if the remaining work is not done well. But At that time, there were more than 2,000 participants, and it was impossible to complete the work in 8 hours.

But my habits do not allow me to be like the French. I insist on having a beginning and an end to everything. I am still young and can endure hardships. I don’t care about not having money. When the time comes every day and they leave, I still finish the cleaning. Sometimes it even took 12 hours. The boss noticed it, and later he told me that he would keep track of the extra hours I worked, and he would give me additional wages. In this way, a normal volunteer works 120 hours a month, and I worked 220 hours.

This volunteer job is not long-term. After working for half a year, the competition ended. I also made a little money, so I started to think of other ways out. I thought of setting up a street stall. The investment was relatively small, and if it failed, I wouldn’t lose too much, so I took out the 100 euros I had saved at the time to purchase goods. Because I have always wanted to make a difference, I chose to sell Chinese-style bags, which are not expensive, about 2 euros each. I also bought a cheongsam to promote it. I set up a stall and also worked as a model. There are no Chinese people in the area. Everyone They all feel very fresh and my business is very good.

I wore cheongsam and attracted many customers.

But setting up a stall is also a very hard job. It is exposed to wind, sun and rain every day. In France, you need to line up in advance to set up a stall. I have to go out at 4 o'clock every day. It is a trivial matter to be exposed to the sun. What I am most afraid of is the cold. Business is at its best during Christmas, and I definitely wouldn’t miss it. I put on all my thickest clothes, but I still couldn’t withstand the cold. I stood outside for 8 hours that day, and when I came back I was speechless. I couldn't describe the feeling, even my tongue was frozen.

When I was volunteering, I also collapsed. One day, I worked for 8 hours straight and washed thousands of dishes. My whole neck and waist were so stiff that I couldn't move. I burst into tears all at once, big and big. The earth fell, and then I told myself that I had no right to be wronged, I was in debt, and I had parents and a son waiting to support me at home. I now have the opportunity to make money, why can't I seize it?

Half a year after setting up the stall, one day my husband came back and told me that a Chinese restaurant had opened in the village. I had been in this village for a year and I had never even tasted soy sauce, so I took my husband to this Chinese restaurant. . I was surprised when I arrived. The Chinese characters on the restaurant sign were all written wrong. Later, when I met the owner and his wife, I found out that they were Chinese from Laos. They had fled to France with their families when they were very young, and they no longer knew how to do it. Chinese.

They were very happy to see me and wanted to find me as a waiter. They said that this is a real Chinese restaurant after I came. I originally wanted to make something with Chinese characteristics, but I didn’t have the capital. The opportunity was now presented to me and I accepted it with great joy.

My boss and I are a family.

During the days when I was working in this restaurant, I treated it as my own career. Other workers only do what they do in their position, but I go wherever I am needed. I will take the initiative to do what I should do during working hours and what I should not do, and I will smile at every customer at the table. Welcome, face full of spring breeze.Later, some customers told the boss, "We love coming to your restaurant. Your waiters are so enthusiastic."

I am very hardworking and valuable, so my boss treats me as one of his own. When my son first came to France, they gave him a red envelope of 200 euros. In order to give my son some pocket money, they also asked him to work as a handyman in a restaurant. The boss is kind to me, so naturally I will work hard for others. reason.

Customer friends I made when I was a waiter.

I worked in this restaurant for six years, during which time I miscarried two children because I worked too hard. After I got married to my husband, I thought about giving him another child. I am a traditional person and I think two people should be the product of love. My husband is very kind to me. One thing that touches me is that he saves a sum of money for me every month. I asked him that if he had an accident one day, he would not be able to enjoy life. He told me that I was wrong. Even if he had a harder life, he would still have to make plans for my future. If he had an accident, I would not be able to enjoy it. He even went to the notary office to notarize his will and leave the house to me.

I am very grateful that he gave me a warm home, and I am determined to give him another child. In the two years after I got married, I got pregnant twice, but both times I had miscarriages. At that time, the kitchen and dining room of the Chinese restaurant were separated by a staircase. In order to prevent the customers from waiting, I would trot all the way to get the food. The first miscarriage was on a Saturday night. After returning home, I went to the hospital with stomachache and found that the baby was gone.

Although I still wanted to work, when I was pregnant for the third time, due to my husband’s opposition and for the sake of the child, I went home to rest for a year. In 2003, I had my mixed-race baby as I wished.

In 2003, the day my youngest son was born.

After giving birth to my son, I quickly returned to the Chinese restaurant. I was supposed to keep doing this, but three years later, the boss fell ill. There is a custom in France of drinking spirits after meals. In order to show his closeness to the guests, the boss would give everyone a glass of liquor at each dinner table and drink with him. Business was very good every day, so the boss drank a lot of wine every day. As a result, I was overworked and developed liver cancer.

Before he left, he told the proprietress to hand over the restaurant to me, because without me there would be no restaurant today. I bought the restaurant at a symbolic price and became the proprietress.

After becoming the boss, my employees and I.

is said to be a Chinese restaurant, but the previous chef is actually not Chinese, and the dishes he cooks can only be regarded as improved Chinese food. In order to make the business better, I became a chef myself and hired a Chinese chef in Paris. During the first Spring Festival after taking over, the 2007 Spring Festival, I wanted to hold an event to promote our Chinese restaurant. I sent out some flyers and invitation letters to old customers, inviting them to come for free New Year’s Eve dinner.

In order to repay me, the old customers who received the invitation collectively bought cheongsams and a flower basket and came to my restaurant on the Spring Festival. I also held a lottery that day. Just use chopsticks to pick up a small bag with a note. There were balls with valuable prizes inside, and foreigners all started learning how to use chopsticks. It was very lively that day, and it even made the front page of our village newspaper the next day. With real Chinese characteristics and publicity, my Chinese restaurant business became very popular.

Later, I would hold activities every Spring Festival.

has been working like this for 7 years. In 2014, an accident happened again. One day, I walked into the kitchen. At that time, the six stoves in the kitchen were on and burning oil for frying spring rolls. I felt out of breath soon after I entered. I hurried to the roadside, but it was still useless. I couldn’t breathe hard. I couldn't breathe, and I felt like I was going to die soon. I rushed to the emergency room for emergency treatment. The test results showed that I had been exposed to gas in the kitchen for a long time and was allergic to gas.

This means that I can no longer enter the kitchen. In order to maintain the operation of the restaurant, I began to look for chefs, but the subsequent chefs were not satisfactory. The Chinese in Paris are not willing to come to our country. There is no way, I I couldn't bear to let the restaurant close, so I had to go into the kitchen by myself. This time I went in again and was taken to the hospital again. The doctor warned me that if I did it a third time, I would die, so I had to move the restaurant out.

I work as a chef in the kitchen, and I developed allergic asthma after being exposed to gas for a long time.

At this time, I had some savings and my life was quite comfortable. After the restaurant was transferred, my husband felt that I should not work so hard anymore and wanted me to enjoy life. But I feel that I can't stop. I had my youngest son when I was 43 years old. If he wants to enter the world, I should also create conditions for him. Not long after the restaurant was transferred, I found a job as a waiter in our local restaurant and worked there for three years. My youngest son went to college and he wanted to go to Paris, so I decided to go with him. I also wanted to start a business.

I returned to Paris in 2017. In the first two years, I did everything. I washed dishes, washed dishes, and delivered food in various restaurants. While I was doing this, I observed where there were business opportunities. I found that manicure is a field with great potential. I went to work in a nail salon because of the market. I went to many nail salons and figured out the operation of nail salons. In 2019, I opened my own nail salon in the Montmartre area of ​​Paris. Facts have proved that I was right again. The business of the nail salon has been very good since it opened. Sometimes the daily turnover can reach 1,000 euros. This store can at least provide food and clothing for me and my family.

I'm in my nail salon.

In 2021, I handed over my nail salon to my sons. My eldest son has completely changed his life since he came to France. After my eldest son came to France in 2001, I told him that this will be your new life from now on. No one will know your past, and no one will look down on you. Your mother did not provide you with good conditions before, but it is different now. Now, what I am telling everyone is that you are excellent and if you work hard to change, I will never wrong you again.

Later, my son repeated the third grade of junior high school in France, passed the high school, and applied to a university in Paris. He studied tourism management, got a gold tour guide certificate, and started a family. But after the epidemic, the tourism industry was hit hard, and I reached the age of 60 to retire, so I handed over the nail salon to my eldest son and my youngest son to run it together. The eldest son is now studying business administration at the Sorbonne University, and has learned The knowledge was immediately applied to the nail salon, which became better and better, and I just started to enjoy my life.

After my eldest son arrived in France, his life changed.

My life is very comfortable now. Every morning I tend to my vegetables and flowers in the garden, and 1 to 3 pm is my fixed study time. Have a listen. Recently, I am learning new media operations, learning how to shoot and edit short videos. I opened a new media account to share my story, and got a lot of feedback from people. They all sent me private messages to consult me, treating me as their confidant. I think this kind of thing is valuable, and I am more motivated.

I am in my garden.

If I have the chance, I would also like to go back to China to go to university. It is a regret of my life that I did not go to university. I really want to study Chinese classical literature and philosophy. Also, I love traveling and vacationing. We modified one of our cars and put it with pots, pans, chairs, etc. Every time we go out, we can take it wherever we go. One night it suddenly rained heavily, and the raindrops hit the car so loudly that we couldn't sleep. We just sat up and laughed. It felt very funny.

We are traveling.

My husband and I love traveling in RVs.

When the epidemic situation eases and it is not that difficult to return to China, I want to take my husband back to provide for my mother until her death. My mother is over 90 years old, and I really want to be with her. Without this condition now, I can only give to her every day. I made a video call for more than an hour and chatted with her about family affairs to relieve her boredom, but I still wanted to really be by her side.

After giving birth to my youngest son, I took my son back to see my mother.

I feel that I am very happy now and have no worries. After going through all the hardships, I feel that many worries are nothing. After experiencing the heart-breaking coldness of setting up a stall, you will feel that you are happy no matter what the situation is. At least you can drink hot water in the house. After suffering so much in your marriage, you can be happy with any person you meet in the future. After facing it calmly, and even thinking about death, I am no longer afraid of any difficulties.

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