I usually say that I work efficiently and live a good life. What are you talking about?
The answer is to achieve the goal! Effective means achieving the goal, being efficient and living well means exceeding the goal!
Because the goal is the only thing that can be quantified, it is useless to talk about it in general terms, and non-operational random evaluation is "playing a rogue", "playing a rogue", and "emptying a cannon."
Consultation is the same, and even more so, just as Professor Li Kefu said, consultation without a goal is a vessel at sea. There will always be headwinds and no tailwinds.
In daily life, those who are full of passion and busy are "tired and happy" only because they have goals in their hearts. Looking at those who do nothing, it is not a problem of intellectual ability and environment, just because of lack of goals.
Harvard Psychology Professor Shahar said that happiness = Freud + Frank = happiness + meaning = present + long term = freedom + responsibility = life + work.
Because Freud emphasized the subconscious mind, Frank emphasized the meaning of life, which is actually instant gratification and delayed gratification, which means that the current short-term goals (motivation) and long-term long-term goals (ideals) have in common. Guidance to goals.
"Sorrow is greater than heart death", the essence is that a person has no goals, and even the desire and motivation of having fun in time is also lost. This is also one of the typical characteristics of depression.
Having said so much, they are all emphasizing the importance of the goal. The problem is knowing to do it. They all say that ideals are beautiful and realistic. They know that it is easy to do and it is difficult to do it. Those who have experienced it will have the experience and will admit it.
It is very important to determine the consulting target,You must talk around the target, otherwise you will have no target, no flies, one hammer on the east, one hammer on the west, without a center, it is impossible to evaluate whether it is effective or not.
Goal determination cannot be arbitrary, and conforms to the seven elements: psychological, positive, specific, actionable, evaluable, mutually determined, and multi-level unification. Among them, specific and operable are very important. If you want to belong to your own "dish on the plate", you should make secret adjustments when you feel inappropriate.
For example, a certain consultation started to solicit opinions, "What can I help you?" Because it was a passive visit, I answered "You can't help", insisted again, and said "Let's study".
Learning is obviously a broad concept, which is embodied as "concentration". At that time, I thought it was OK. This is a mental state. The idea can start with "observation and thinking", that is, only observation without thinking. We have a lot of personal experience, such as Breathe mindfully, observe flowers and trees, landing techniques, set small goals, and learn with questions.
However, as the consultation progressed, it was found that this was not the case. From the perspective of storytelling, answering teacher questions and listening to music and writing homework, I did not think there was a problem, but the parents and teachers thought there was a problem.
This gives a warning, asks what it can help, don’t rush to recognize it after you get the answer, first listen to the description of the problem, confusion, and story, and then determine whether the proposed target is suitable, whether it is "my dish", "let the bullets fly" It’s definitely not wrong for a while.
After clarifying that the attention goal is no longer discussed, it is clearly proposed to turn to other goals, and it will quickly and naturally transition to discussing the topic of "parent-child relationship".
It can be seen that this is the core issue. There are many goals that can be set, such as relationship communication, emotional processing, and active attention. At this time, it's best to have a clear goal. Unless you are proficient and tacitly follow up with each other, you will still be aimless.
Very early on, my brother warned me that life is the process of solving one problem and then another problem. In other words, life is a process of goal after goal, as is professional consultation.
Avenue to Jane, that's all. The key is to have a goal and dare to set the goal, so that failure is not terrible.Only growth is possible.
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