Back then, Pumpkin was a game maniac. As long as there was a holiday in high school, he would invite me to play in the Internet cafe , and try out the new online games he likes together. Naturally, I would play along every time. On July 18 of that summer vacation, we went to the Internet cafe in the afternoon as usual. In the evening, he suddenly told me to go to park for a walk together. Originally it was just chatting and walking, but as the number of pedestrians in the park became less and less, the atmosphere gradually began to move towards ambiguous . He suddenly stopped and said to me: Can I kiss you? At that time, I was very surprised, very confused, and had no idea what was going on in my mind, so I agreed. So from that day on, July 18 has become our anniversary every year.
17-year-old love
We are each other's first love, we are dazed and ignorant about love, and do not know how to fall in love. At that time, we changed the screen names of QQ to Tong and Mew in "Love of Siam", and the avatars were also changed to Mario and pchy. It is really naive to think about it now. Due to the class every day, there is naturally less time to get tired. So Pumpkin proposed to buy a notebook, write down each other's thoughts in their spare time, and pass it to each other after class time. In this way, we wrote a full book, and passed those things that were difficult to express in words to each other. To this day, this notebook remains in our drawer as the best memory of our school days.
4 years in different places
We were not in the same school during college, but in different cities, but fortunately it is still the same provincial capital. At the beginning, pumpkin came to my school every weekend. After a long time, our financial pressure will be greater, and students have no money.To save money, we decided to let Pumpkin move out of the dormitory and rent a room outside the school, where I go to him every week. In these 4 years, weekends are what we look forward to the most. Don't think too much about it, even watching a movie, traveling around, or playing games will make us very satisfied. Everything was beautiful at that time.
Stepping into society
After graduating from university , it means that the student era is officially over, and the reality and pressure of society are ushered in. We went to Shanghai development, and suffered many setbacks in both work and life. I have been deceived in renting a house, and my job has not landed. I rely on parents and relief to live. It took half a year for us to truly become relatively stable. To say it is stable is enough to support ourselves. At that time, we didn't think about the future, and we just lived every day, and we didn't have too many pursuits in the workplace. My parents saw that we were not doing well in Shanghai, and they started urging us to find girlfriends , and even wanted us to go back to our hometown for development. The nightmarish road to marriage has officially begun.
Pressure of urging marriage
We are children in a small city, 25-26 years old are the best candidates to find. Parents always say that it is even harder to find someone when they are older. In the face of repeated inquiries from our parents, as well as pressure from relatives who went home for the New Year, coming out of the closet has become the biggest obstacle in our lives. During this period, Fa Xiao, who grew up with Pumpkin, had an entrepreneurial project and wanted to invite him to do it together. This might be an opportunity, so we gave up our jobs in Shanghai and retired to second-tier cities like Foshan, Guangdong. We encountered the biggest obstacle again. The entrepreneurial project for more than half a year failed, and we still owe a lot of credit cards. At this time, pumpkin's mother pushed the marriage to the extreme, and he had the idea of -shaped marriage .He told me that his younger cousin was Lala, and he wanted to find a gay man for marriage, but both of them just wanted and . This is the best way to deal with the family, and it can also solve the problems of children. When Pumpkin told me about this idea, I wanted to see my opinion. My opinion was that I didn't agree, and I immediately said to him: "If you get married in a real way, and then you have a child, you will be no different from a real family. Wherever I am in the future, I will be with you. What role do you play in the relationship? The third child who destroys the family? And the child grows up later, knowing that his parents are there, knowing that he was born through such a transaction, what would you think? If you If I want to do this, I will choose to leave, and it will be a fulfillment for you." At that time, he probably didn't expect my reaction to be so violent, and eventually the marriage was over, and he lied to his parents that he had found a girlfriend and was talking. In this matter, I was quite disappointed with him, and I didn't think it would hurt me. However, he gave up the form marriage later, which made me feel that he still cares about me very much in his heart. For parents, they lied that they had found a girlfriend and were getting along.
Preparation before coming out
I began to realize the seriousness of the matter. I can't count the day in another day. I have to start planning ahead and plan ahead for the upcoming events. So I asked the relatives and friends of the official account to find the local relatives and friends of Hunan through the volunteers layer by layer, found the local volunteer aunts, and chatted with them a lot. The volunteer aunt told me that if you want to come out, don't hesitate any longer, the sooner you can give your parents more time to accept it. In addition, I also found videos released by uncles and aunts of the relatives and friends associations from major video websites, most of which are about how to accept that their children are gay. Save all these data in a collection, just in case you need it.At the same time, Pumpkin's career has also improved a lot, and it has gradually developed in a steady direction. Let us see the road ahead with new hope.
Buying a house
In August 2019, we made an important decision to buy a house of our own. We also encountered many difficult problems on the way to buy a house, because we bought a house with a loan, and we are not related by blood. Basically, the four major banks all refuse to accept our relationship purchase loans, and are only willing to accept personal or couple loans. The developer also gave us a headache, and asked us if we could write only one person's name, but we insisted on writing two people's names. I finally found a bank that could accept our loan, and it took 3-4 months to review, and during this period, I also wrote various application forms required by the bank, and finally passed. However, when the pumpkin was small and we bought a house at the same time, the loan was released within 10 days. Good things take a long time, after all, in the end, it is the result we expect, and a major event in our life and has been completed. To our family, we always claim that we are the ones who buy the house by ourselves.
Coming out of the closet (1)
On the National Day on October 1 of the same year, Pumpkin's mother called again to urge her to marry. For some reason he hung up and said to go for a walk alone. After 2 hours, I found that I hadn't come back, so I called and found that I was still on the phone. It's very strange, how can we talk for so long, so I went directly to community to find him. I just found out that he was about to enter the elevator too, and his face was not very good, so he asked him what was wrong and who was on the phone with him. He looked at me with a relieved look and said, I just came out with my mother.what! My first reaction was that I was overwhelmed and came out without even mentioning it to me, what should I do now! But I calmed down and asked him how his parents reacted. He told me that my mother felt hopeless in life, and my father was angry and sad, thinking it was absolutely impossible. These reactions, in fact, are within my expectation, and few parents should be able to accept them calmly. In the next two days, I pushed the aunt's WeChat account to him, and asked him to push it to my mother, so that my aunt could enlighten my mother, and my peers would be more convincing. After that, I let the pumpkin go home, just in time for the National Day holiday. Have a good talk with your parents face to face, you can also pull your sister, and the family can better talk about this matter together. The night when the pumpkin came home, I was particularly anxious about and . I didn’t know what the ending would be, and I didn’t know what the future road would be like. I waited until about 1:00 p.m., and he sent me a WeChat message, saying: Baby, it worked! My mood changed from anxious and worried to extremely happy, I know, he did it! Maybe it will take a long time for parents to digest and accept, but we have passed the first step!
Coming out of the closet (2)
Pumpkin's coming out of the closet has been considered a success, and it is time for me to confess to my parents. Although I have done a lot of preparations before, and I am full of confidence, it is really time to face the showdown. To be honest, I still have lingering fears. I remember that it was a few nights before the Spring Festival, and my father went to bed early. My mother and I were chatting about daily life while cooking the fire. In fact, my heart has been brewing for a long time, and I have been preparing for so many days. Tonight is the best time. Several times the words came to my lips, but I didn't dare to open my mouth until after 10 o'clock my mother was ready to go to bed.Only then did I summon up the courage to say to my mother, "I have something important to tell you. This is related to the question of finding a partner that you have been talking about." Immediately, my mother became interested and kept asking me what was going on and whether I had found a suitable partner. "Actually, I don't like girls, I like boys, so that's why I haven't gone on a blind date" Mom said in surprise, "What does this mean, why don't you like girls? Am I rushing you too quickly, you Are you going to lie to me like this?" "I didn't lie to you, you are my mother, how could I lie to you about this kind of thing, just because I love you, I want to tell you the truth. I want to tell you why you have urged me to find a partner for so many years, but I have been are avoiding. Because I'm gay and there are many people like me in the world, I'm not the only one." Afterwards, I explained to my mother what homosexuality was, told him that I had a partner I had been talking to for more than ten years, and showed her a lot of videos made by my relatives and friends, uncles and aunts. After 2 hours of popular science, my mother always understands what homosexuality is. But my mother's reaction was not very strong. She has always been more open-minded. Instead, she just thought I had something to tell her earlier. In the end, what moved me was that she didn't think it was anything, as long as we planned the future and planned everything, we would be happy, and she would accommodate everything about me. Mother's love may be the greatest emotion in the world!
The two families met
Because of the epidemic in early 2020, our parents did not meet. After the epidemic was under control, our mothers met several times in private, and often went to offline activities organized by the relatives and friends association together. Even the aunts of the relatives and friends association said that the two of you are really good in-laws. Your sons are from the same local city. They have been together since middle school and have deep feelings for each other.At the beginning, we could actually see that they were still unacceptable, just because they were their own children. After getting in touch with the aunts of the relatives and friends association, I became more and more accepting of us. Before the Spring Festival in early February this year, we also arranged for the first official meeting of the two families. They don't talk too much about our future, they don't talk too much about our past, they just treat each other as a family to live in harmony. This is how many times I have dreamed of the picture in my dreams. It turns out that the dream has been realized, it is so beautiful!
This is our 13-year love story , from pulling Peter's school uniforms to tying each other's ties, from teenagers to youth, I have experienced the best youth in my life, I firmly believe that the road ahead will be wider!
END
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