In this era of "talking about sexual discoloration", as an emotional consultant, Teacher Xia will often receive letters from many girls about "sex" issues, such as:
● "We are netizens, and we opened a room when we first met. Then he didn't contact me for a long time. When I contacted him, his attitude was very cold, why is this?"
● "We had only been dating for less than a month, and he proposed to live together in order to understand more deeply. Only the other person can know whether they are suitable for each other. Should I agree or disagree with his proposal?”
● I gave him the precious first time, but as long as we quarreled and had a cold war, I would regret it, and I always felt It was too easy for him to get at the beginning, and now he doesn't cherish it. I worry about gains and losses every day, it's really painful!
01. Sex for love, or love for sex?
Let’s first look at these two situations:
The first is a couple who are in a spiritual love, and they can love to the death without sexual contact; the second is the affectionate interpretation of the man and woman in the movie. A deep love story.
Seeing this, many people may have such a question: Do people want to have sex because they love each other, or do they love because they have sex? There is a saying in
: "Love is better because of sex, and sex is made sacred because of love." This sentence can be said to describe the relationship between love and sex very well.
For men and women who are deeply in love with each other, they are naturally very eager to have intimate fusion with each other's bodies. In a highly private space, each other will completely expose themselves in front of each other, and achieve a close-knit state of ecstasy in which "you have me, and I have you".
During this process, people will feel that they are choosing to trust the other party unconditionally, and they are completely accepted by the other party unconditionally. It has to be said that this is a profound communication. This communication is emotional and more physical, so that both parties can further confirm the feeling of loving and being loved.
In a couple who love each other, if there is a sexual interaction between them, it will inevitably deepen their sense of intimacy and security, and of course, it will bring more stability and certainty to their relationship. .
Of course, it cannot be ruled out that sometimes, people will have a strong sexual desire for a certain opposite sex, and they will have an irrepressible desire for each other when they have no intersection with each other. The following story describes this for us: On the bus, the hero and heroine suddenly meet by chance, have an irrepressible desire for each other, and then fall in love with sex, starting a story full of entanglements.
In real life, there are indeed many examples of this kind of love because of sex. For example, someone fell in love with the object of "one-night stand", and later, "one-night stand" became "multi-night stand", and then the two got married. Get married and have a happy life.
In reality, however, such relationships that begin with a sexual relationship often don't end well. What will be the outcome of the above scenario? After the male and female protagonists step into the marriage hall, the male protagonist soon loses interest in the female protagonist's body, and the two begin to abuse and torture each other, and the story ends in tragedy.
In this kind of relationship that begins with sexual attraction, passion often accounts for a large proportion.If two people establish a love relationship without paying attention to cultivating feelings, especially trust and intimacy, then, after a period of time, the passion ignited by sexual attraction will soon gradually fade away due to the disappearance of novelty. Diluted, in the end, a beautiful love story is likely to be reduced to a fragrant love story.
Just as sociologists have found through long-term follow-up research: love that is sexual in love is more likely to be stable and long-lasting. The sexual relationship developed by on the basis of love is more conducive to deepening each other's love and making the relationship between the two parties more stable.
And those feelings that are loved because of sex need to be based more on passion. If you want to develop into a long-term love, you need to continuously strengthen mutual understanding and intimacy after the relationship begins. Nurture, if not, this sexually loving relationship is likely to die prematurely.
02. Don’t give up your body until you know the other party.
In fact, when a man sees a beautiful girl, the first thought that flashes to his mind is how to sleep with her, but this needs to wait for the opportunity. At this stage, a woman is easily deceived by a man's sweet words. After giving him her body first, she may not necessarily get her sincerity.
If a man picks nose and eyes at you after sleeping with you, it proves that he treats you as a buddy and doesn't really want to be with you, or he is just a scumbag.
As for the former, girls shouldn't be too frivolous, don't be too easily moved and pay easily, otherwise he will think that you are a casual woman, not necessarily how many men you have slept with, and something so easy to get must be nothing. good stuff.
For the latter, you should at least know his character and character before paying.If you pay a scumbag on impulse, in fact, the best choice is to leave immediately to avoid more harm.
03. Sex is a conversation
You might think that if you were married to a loved one, you would hug and kiss him every day. However, if you don't make a conscious effort, no matter how much you love each other, you will get tired of looking at each other. Therefore, we need to be in close contact with each other to maintain the temperature of love. At some point, that touch carries more than a hundred sweet words.
Husbands and wives are not related by blood, yet they are closer than any other family member. The only reason is that husband and wife are physical unions.
If this bond cannot be maintained, sooner or later the husband and wife will become strangers, or worse. A couple who can't even communicate well in body language is less likely to be able to communicate well.
Love Apocalypse:
Russell once said: "Love renews our whole being, as the rain after a great drought does to plants. Sex without love has no such power. Below is tiredness, disgust, and a sense of emptiness in life. Love is made better by sex, and sex is made holy by love."
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