Life is generally a journey of constantly seeing ourselves and others clearly. We get to know some people, have interactions with them, and then think that we have become very close people. Therefore, we don’t care, dig deep and deep, and are willing to treat those people as people we can grow old with in this life.
However, as time goes by, people's hearts have changed, and some people originally thought it was like this, but never thought that it was another way.
For example, a friend who called me today told me about his troubles. He could feel his bad mood on the phone. He was sick recently, but he found that a friend who he thought was a good friend in the past was very indifferent to him, and he was very hurt. A friend said that a "serious illness" really made him see many people clearly.
After I finished the phone call with him, I carefully thought about some of the people I have met over the years, as well as some of the people I am still in contact with now, and I found that these three types of people are really not worth getting to know deeply.
01 People who treat everyone as "buddy"
Some people usually say "buddy is long, buddy is short" when nothing happens, but when you really encounter a problem, he disappears. I believe that many people have such people around them. When you interact with this type of person, you always feel that he is very kind to you. You think that he sincerely treats you as a friend, so you believe his "truth".
But in fact, he regards all people as his "buddies". In his eyes, as long as they are people he knows, he can show a very friendly look, but in his heart he doesn't care about anyone. He just thinks that the more people he knows, the better.
That’s why some people say that the “buddies” people think of nowadays are not as good as the “friends” of the past. Of course, the word "friend" is also abused in today's society. Many people say they are friends, but in fact they are just a few meals and meetings. At most, they are just an acquaintance, not very close.
But some people seem to like to be close, only in appearance, never sincerely. Of course there are some people like this around me. I still remember that when I found out that the other person didn't take me seriously, I felt a little angry, but of course more sad. But later on, when I met more of them, I became accustomed to them.
Later on, I learned to keep a distance from these people. Unless I needed to interact with them, I would not always think that there would be a true friendship like before.
There is a saying, don't overestimate your position in the minds of others. I think this sentence is just right to put here. For people who are "buddies" with everyone, really don't overestimate your position in their hearts. In fact, you are not important at all. When you figure this out, you won't be bothered by it anymore.
02 People who usually promise you anything
If a person promises you everything, it means that he has promised nothing. This is true in love, and it is true in friendship. Because one thing is obvious, that is, no one can do everything. People do what they can within their own limited scope.
Therefore, those who usually agree to everything, and who say they can do it no matter what you say, are actually perfunctory and will not really help you at all. If you take it seriously, what you will get is that they will find various excuses to defend themselves.
Actually, there are many such people in our lives. In order to be able to show that they are powerful in front of others, some people do not care about their abilities and respond to everything they ask for, but there are few things that can be done sincerely.
To be honest, I am very disgusted with such people. If you can do it, do it. If you can't, don't agree.
In fact, no one will ask you to do something. Some people ask you some things, and they are just trying. They do not say that it is wrong for you not to help, so there is no need to agree to everything.
Don’t always think about finding superiority in front of others. Your recognition of yourself is the most important thing. If you promise others everything but fail to do it in the end, it is actually worse than not agreeing at the beginning.
Therefore, people who usually agree to anything are actually scheming. Such people are really not worth dating.
03 People who always want to take advantage of you no matter what happens
I don’t know if there is such a person around you. As long as they know that they can take advantage of something, they really won’t take advantage of it, even if some small advantages are so small that they are not worth the trouble. People like
, how should I put it, they are not necessarily bad, nor are they necessarily very scheming, they just don't want to let themselves suffer. In their view, if they don't take advantage of certain "advantages", they will suffer. They see "taking advantage" as a means to get something.
But such people are really disliked. When dealing with such people, you never know where you will be plotted by them. Of course, their calculations can be big or small, but dealing with such people is really only about paying, and they are only profitable when they are with you.
Therefore, if some people only know how to take advantage of you and do not want to do anything to you, and they take the help you give them as a matter of course, stay away from such people. After all, it’s really tiring.
As a human being, you should neither force yourself on others nor embarrass yourself. If interacting with certain people makes you unhappy and makes you feel unworthy, why bother.
Tsuneko Nakamura mentioned in the book " The World Is Worth " about "how to make friends". She said: "Making friends should be based on your own preferences. It is not advisable to make friends by weighing the gains and losses."
If you have troubles about how to make friends, what kind of friends you should make, and your daily interpersonal interactions, then go read the book "The World Is Worth" written by Tsuneko Nakamura. Part of this book is about interpersonal relationships. Tsuneko Nakamura has given us some useful suggestions through her many years of experience.
Tsuneko Nakamura is over ninety, but she is still working. She lives alone and is not far from her son, but she always maintains a certain distance. In her opinion, others have other people's lives, and she has her own life. With clear boundaries, conflicts and pressure will naturally be reduced.
She also said that if you feel uncomfortable or hurt and realize "this person is who they are", then change the distance between you and them. If you like it, associate with it; if you don't like it, stay away.
I believe that many people do not have such a clear understanding. They may think that doing so will make their interpersonal relationships very bad, but in fact, Tsuneko Nakamura uses her many years of experience to tell you that this is the best way to treat interpersonal relationships. This is also the reason why she has rarely been troubled by interpersonal relationships over the years, and she also has some friends with whom she has sincere relationships.
If you want to know more about how to move forward and retreat freely in interpersonal relationships, then go read this book "The World Is Worth" and see how Nakamura Tsuneko does it. After reading it, it will be of great help to you and free you from bad interpersonal relationships.
Of course, in addition to interpersonal relationships, this book also has good suggestions about work, marriage, being in trouble and how to balance work and life, etc., and they are all worth learning.
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On the road of life, you will meet all kinds of people. If you don't know how to distinguish them, you will waste too much time on some unworthy people. Therefore, it is important to know who you should associate with.
We hope that the people we associate with are the ones we like.
