In life, we often feel uncomfortable because of a word from someone else or a behavior.
You should know that the sense of proportion is a very subtle thing.
Only by grasping the right measure can life move forward steadily.
Once some behaviors are done, they will give others the impression of low quality, which will only make people feel disgusted and stay away from it.
I have heard many people say, "When the child gets married, my task is completed!"
But is this really true?
The interaction, adaptation and coordination between in-laws have actually just begun.
In the process of dating with in-laws, these three behaviors are very depreciating, but some people do not realize it.
01
Blind comparison will affect the relationship between each other
There are no two families in the world that are completely equal, and there will always be differences between in-laws.
If two families always blindly compare, the children will suffer inevitable harm in the marriage relationship.
Just as the British philosopher Bacon once said:
"People can allow a stranger to make a fortune, but they cannot forgive the rise of the person around them."
Human nature, that's it.
Marriage is not only a bridge between husband and wife, but also a bridge connecting two families. It allows two unrelated families to have bonds and intersections.
The gap between the rich and the poor must also exist, and life habits, family atmosphere, etc. are different.
If you compare blindly, it will cause cracks in your child's marriage life and will also hurt your child's self-confidence and self-esteem.
Neighbor Aunt Wang's daughter and her boyfriend are in a free relationship. The man's family has opened several chain convenience stores, and the family is relatively wealthy, while Aunt Wang's family is just an ordinary working-earning family.
Overall, the economic situation between the two companies is quite different.
When the two got married, Aunt Wang and the man’s mother needed to record the same video on the same stage. Perhaps because of their wealth and good maintenance, although the man’s mother and Aunt Wang were not much different in age, they looked more than ten years younger.
Therefore, Aunt Wang was unhappy and the smile on her face decreased a little.
My daughter lived with her in-laws after marriage. Every time she visited her daughter's house, she saw the luxurious decorations at her in-laws' house, and Aunt Wang was jealous and panicked.
Every time I return from my daughter's house to my own home, I have to complain about my husband, saying that he can't make money, and he has suffered for decades with him, and he has not enjoyed happiness when he grows old.
After a long time, my husband also complained about his in-laws and was unwilling to date him again.
Because of their intentional alienation, the daughter's parents-in-law felt that she had no support, and she deliberately treated her harshly because her daughter-in-law was not at a high level.
It is because of fate, but many people do not know how to cherish this fate.
If you always blindly compare, it will not only leave embarrassment on both sides of the children, but also affect the relationship between the children and the couple.
If you want a couple to live a harmonious life, don’t always compare with your in-laws. It is enough to live your own life well.
02
Like to be careful and often harm others and do not benefit yourself
As the saying goes, small things see the pattern, and details look at character.
Whether in-laws can get along well with each other is actually reflected in every detail.
Therefore, in the process of interacting with people, you must be more careful and know how to grasp boundaries and measure. This is a kind of protection for yourself.
On Zhihu, some netizens complained about what their in-laws did:
Because the two families are very close and they usually walk around, she regards her in-laws as her best friend to date.
But I didn’t expect that after a long time, my mother-in-law would often borrow red envelopes of dozens or hundreds of yuan from her, but she would never return them.
When she went out for a trip, her mother-in-law always begged her to buy things on her behalf, but she didn't pay every time she bought things.
Slowly, she was unwilling to continue to interact with her mother-in-law.
年1年心网站, you can use it to guard against villains, but if used to treat your own in-laws, it will often only lead to the severity of the relationship between the two families.
I still remember when my cousin got married, the man was in charge of the banquet.
Aunt shows off to other relatives:
"The in-laws said that this banquet must be held a bigger place and find a high-end hotel. I hope everyone will have fun and eat at that time."
When my cousin got married, the bride-taking team pulled the guests to the place. Everyone found out that the wedding banquet was held in a food stall, and the aunt changed her face on the spot.
But because it was my cousin’s wedding, my aunt still patiently ended until the wedding ended.
What is wrong with the family is ruining the harmony between the two parties, and it will leave many conflicts and hidden dangers for the children's small family.
Like to playful in-laws. Many things you say are untrustworthy, and many promises you make are impossible to achieve in many cases.
It is best not to do this kind of behavior that harms others and is not beneficial to oneself, as it is not good for both parties.
03
is selfish and hinders children from filial piety to their parents
I wonder if you have discovered that the more people you come into contact with, the more you will discover the importance of emotional intelligence and dealing with people.
The child lives a good life with his own ability and wants to help his parents. That is his own ability. If he tries every means to prevent his child from giving to his in-laws, this kind of behavior will definitely be looked down upon.
Many parents think that if they raise their children with hard work, the child should always be in the same heart as themselves.
After the child gets married, when he sees his children be filial to his in-laws, he will develop an unbalanced mentality, and the conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will gradually increase.
The old saying goes: " Filial piety is the first of all virtues ."
A person who is unfilial to his parents, does not support his parents, and does not respect his parents cannot be a good person.
The son is filial to his wife's parents, or the daughter is filial to his son-in-law's parents. This is natural. The child knows how to be filial to his in-laws, which just shows that he is affectionate and righteous, and should be encouraged.
A friend once said this:
Mr. Liu's father is a civil servant, knowledgeable and generous, while his mother is petty.
Not long after Mr. Liu got married, his mother-in-law was diagnosed with cancer. Fortunately, it was discovered in a timely manner and there is still a possibility of cure.
Mother-in-law's family does not have much savings, so the treatment fee for mother-in-law is still much smaller.
Mr. Liu borrowed money from his father and took it to treat his mother-in-law.
But Mr. Liu's mother knew about this and made a big fuss after she forced Mr. Liu to get the money back, saying that she was unwilling to let her son help her mother-in-law.
Finally, although the angry mother was dissuaded by her father and Mr. Liu also successfully helped her mother-in-law see a doctor, his wife was hated by her mother for this and often looked for trouble for various reasons.
instigates children to ignore their in-laws, and such behavior is despised.
Children have grown up and have their own lives. As parents, don’t interfere, the best love for their children.
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In-laws are the most special of all relatives. Other relationships are innate, and only in-laws are relatives who come together halfway.
Only when the relationship between in-laws is well maintained can the children's marriage be happy.
If there is constant conflict between in-laws, it will not only make the child embarrassed, but will also affect the harmony between the child and the wife.
I like it. I hope that when all in-laws interact, they will have more ideas, treat others with sincerity, and respect each other.
