Article pictures are from "Towards the Bright"
No matter what age you are at, unemployment is not a trivial matter for a person. Because it means losing the source of income, disrupting the original life, and losing the opportunity to climb up...
As a "senior" unemployed household, I have been completely unemployed at the age of 29 and pretending to be working for two years. In the past two years, I spent all the savings I had accumulated over several years of work and lived a life of relying on my partner to support me.
If someone asks me, is it scary to be unemployed? I will answer, it's not scary, because in the final analysis, what's scary is actually not knowing what I want.
When a person does not know what he wants, the control of life is not in his own hands. Only by working diligently can he get a sense of security; when a person knows what he wants and loses a job that only means income, it does not prevent him from continuing to run the career he really wants.
Simply put, the sense of security of confused people comes from an income job, while the sense of security of clear people comes from cultivating their own career.
I have a deep understanding of this. I have had working but confused working days , and I have also experienced unemployed and confused panic years , and finally entered unemployed but transparent working time .
From the seemingly orderly and actually disorderly working life, it fell to the bottom of a completely disorderly unemployment valley. While enduring the pain, it looked for directions, and finally built its own life order.
Looking back, what I am afraid of is never unemployment, but that I always don’t know what I want. This fear has become the courage to pursue my dreams after I find the direction of my life.
01.
"Working days but confused"
The first formal job in my life was to work as a data statistician in an e-commerce company, counting sales-related data every day, assisting managers and department operation colleagues to make better decisions and sell more products.
Later, I couldn't feel the sense of accomplishment of this job. Instead, I felt that my operation colleagues in the same department were more energetic, so I decided not to move towards data analysis, but to go to the e-commerce department of another company to become a sales assistant.
There, I experienced the pleasure of selling products through online stores, and I became more determined to embark on the road of e-commerce operations.
In order to learn more professional e-commerce operation experience, I left the company again and turned to another operation company specializing in e-commerce. I started with a small store and slowly had the opportunity to build a big brand and a big store.
In those years, I grew up very fast, from an unknown small operation to becoming one of the best performances in the company.
I did not waste my twenties in vain. Every step of my choice in the workplace seems to be a mistake now, and I have also achieved results that are praised by my colleagues and proud of myself.
However, these seemingly relishable experiences did not make me firm in my future, and I could not gain a sense of security from it.
When I arrive at the company every day, looking at the young and energetic faces, I am often confused. One day I am in my thirties. Can this industry still tolerate me?
I have seen almost all people in their twenties. Are people in their thirties still qualified to sit in the grid and to do operations? Looking at the entire company, those women in their thirties have only a few management positions left in the e-commerce industry.
I have to climb up, but what is the meaning of climbing up?
is asked to go on a business trip from time to time, and has tried his best to write plans and have enough verbal talk to the platform to gain resources? Because the 1% performance has not been completed, can you accept the boss’s abuse and questioning? For the sake of department performance, do you work hard to establish good relations with leaders of other departments?
This is the portrayal of the workplace that I will continue to stay in this industry for the rest of my life. Are these what I want? Obviously not.
In those years of high spirits, I enjoyed the pride brought to me by my performance, but also felt confused and unsolvable about the future. I understand that e-commerce operations are not the career I have to strive for throughout my life, but what can I do other than that? I have no idea.
Until time pushed me to the stage of my life when I was married and unchildren, I suddenly lost the right to choose and had no chance to worry about whether to continue to stay in e-commerce. In turn, the industry has abandoned me.
A female operator who is almost thirty years old and is still married and has no children. As expected, I have never seen such an operation colleague.
Hometimes are not scary, but confusion makes me often feel that a time bomb will explode one day in the future, maybe it is 30 years old, maybe it is 35 years old, maybe it is 40 years old, in short, you will lose your vulnerable life now at any time.
02.
"The panic years of unemployed and confused"
After being abandoned by the industry, I suddenly fell into a terrible situation of panic. The panic at that time made me feel that unemployment was extremely terrible.
My deposit has only decreased but not increased since then, and the expenses have been reduced. I save as much as possible. Later, I had to withdraw the provident fund and spend it.
I live with my in-laws and can’t be unemployed at home, so I can only pretend to go to work every day, but where can I go if I lose my work? Sometimes I go to a cafe, sometimes I am a library, and sometimes I just sit at the subway station.
Fortunately, I did not continue to panic willfully, but clearly told myself that I should do something to change everything, save myself strongly, and take responsibility for my life.
So I began to rack my brains to think, how can a dead horse be cured?
The initial answer is that tests to compile . No matter how small the chance of passing the exam is, it is already a stagnant pool, so why fear die again?
Since then, I have also taken the opportunity to go to work every day. Carrying books and computers, either to the library or to the study room. I study when others go to work, but I still have to study when others go to get off work.
Although I was unemployed, I was particularly fulfilling. Every day I was improving. I seemed to have found the long-lost motivation to live.
But this method did not save me, this dead horse. I persisted in the exam four times and all ended up failing. Although the rankings are getting better and better, failing to get the first place in the exam for hundreds of people is an ineffective effort.
Another answer is, learn to draw . No matter how fantastic the idea is, it is already a broken jar, so why not fall it again?
I immediately purchased some drawing tools and started to learn sketching step by step according to the tutorial book.
My goal is of course to become an illustrator, and there are many enviable free illustrators on Xiaohongshu. But I learned to draw from scratch, but I was actually not sure about it, so I quickly found some institutions to teach painting to understand the cost and duration of adults who have no foundation in learning to draw. After learning about
, compared to the editor exam, I don’t feel like I don’t have a chance. It is a path that will work hard and persevere and slowly become effective over time.But then I gave up because painting was not what I wanted.
Later I found another answer, shoots food production short video . No matter how much I didn’t understand this in the past or whether I had practical skills, I would learn it if I didn’t understand it, and ask if I didn’t understand it, and then talk about it if I tried it.
At that time, I started to learn how to cook. With the little bit of three-legged cat skills I learned when I was a child, I started to work hard in the vegetable market and the kitchen.
I registered an account on various platforms, purchased tripods and mobile phone stands, and started learning to edit videos with software online.
It's like this, it took me about three or four months from the first clumsy video to the release of the last video. In the end, I didn't continue to cook because I didn't want to cook for the sake of shooting delicious food. If the food is added with shooting and editing, it will become undelicious in my opinion. The three answers of
are the most typical of the messy trial and error I have been unemployed after I was unemployed. In addition, there are some small attempts that are not worth mentioning.
I tried it crazy because I didn’t know what I wanted. I have always lived an ordinary life, without any outstanding interests and hobbies, and only knows how to study and work, which also led to me being in a panic immediately after I lost my job.
There are many older women around me who have quit naked, but there are also a few who have quickly managed their own businesses, and all of them have clear preferences.
unemployment is actually not scary. What is scary is that people don’t know what they want, and when they lose their jobs, they become headless flies. Once a person has a clear pursuit, even if he is unemployed, he knows where he should go next.
It’s a pity that I didn’t work hard to discover and cultivate my hobbies when I was working, which caused me to experience a period of pain and powerless years after I was unemployed.
I used to think that those unbearable years were caused by the shadow of the word "unemployment". Later I realized that in the final analysis, everything was caused by my unclear where the way to return to life was.
03.
"Unemployed but transparent cultivation time"
When talking on the phone with my sister during the National Day holiday, she talked about my opinion on my unemployment. She said, "I never think that your unemployment is a failure, because you have been working hard and you are very self-disciplined. People don't have to have a job, but they must have something to do."
I agree with her words very much. After two years of unemployment, I didn’t feel that I had become bad, but instead felt that I was getting more and more progressive.
Because I have been trying hard to try and make mistakes since I was panicking. Although many things have not produced ideal fruits, in the end I found the answer that suits me - Writing .
Clear what I want in this life. It can be said that this is my life task for two years of unemployment. I spent two years getting answers that have been confused by the past ten years, which I think is worth it. After finding the answer, I did not stop, but made plans and began to embark on the road of self-media writing.
I appear in the rental house on time at 9 o'clock every weekday and don't leave until 10 o'clock in the evening. I write more than a dozen articles every month, work in-depth for more than 100 hours, read two books, and exercise for more than 300 minutes.
Although I am unemployed, I never waste it.
My sister also talked to me about the topic of " flow ". She said that she was in a bad mood recently and started trying to read books, but she realized that she had not experienced this feeling of flow for a long time.
I am very glad that during the second half of my unemployment, especially after I started writing, I often had the experience of flow, which was a feeling of hard work and calmness. The terrible feeling that unemployment initially brought me disappeared inexplicably after I found what I wanted to do.
Although my writing career has just started and I have not made any splashes yet, I am not in a hurry. When I think that writing is something I will do in my life, when I think that I have the energy and are willing to write in my 80s and 90s, and when I think that I can express my thoughts with strangers, I am not in a hurry.
What matters to me is the income. How much income and growth can I get from it must be calculated clearly, otherwise I will be wasting my years and doing things that are not cost-effective.
And now writing is unemployed. What is important for me is the joy of writing, and the second is the benefit. There is no need to be petty. Just want to enjoy it every time I code, which is enough.
I would like to write a little bit for the rest of my life, write slowly, and work hard step by step.
As for unemployment, I don’t mind that much. As long as people take action, don’t waste their time, and insist on studying, they are running a career. The difference is that there is no income for the time being, so they work hard to manage the present, and the future will eventually be clear.
"Unemployment is not scary, what is scary is that you don't know what you want." This is a sentence I saw on Xiaohongshu.
If I were just unemployed, I might think this is nothing more than an irrelevant quote for the soul. But only after you have experienced all this can you understand the essence of it.
No matter what, I hope you find the path of your life love, and don’t have to be as painful as I do.
Author profile:
The same name on the entire network "Xiao Er who unemployed writing"
❤Concentration→Work-media writing | Growth information | Learning | Inspirational
❤Unemployed pretending to be working for 2 years, failed to get a 4 exams
❤Believe in "Just work hard, God has his own arrangements"
❤Dream of a rich woman! Become an economically independent freelancer woman
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