In life, we will see such an example: several children in the family have family conflicts in order to share the elderly’s pension expenses; the couple invite relatives or parents to take care of their children, and conflicts arise due to whether they should pay compensation, etc.; couples are having a big fight over whether they should have a bride price, and their relationship is on the verge of breaking up...
It seems that all relationships, as long as they are related to money, will become extremely complicated. How should we rationally view the relationship between intimate relationships and economic activities?
The book "Purchase of Intimate Relationships" mentions: Without economic behavior, many intimate relationships will not last long, and without intimate relationships, many economic activities will have no meaning.
In fact, in our lives, many times, the reason why talking about money hurts our relationship is because we all want to get the efforts of others, but we are unwilling to give the reward we deserve.
The most intimate and interactive family scene is maintained by deeper production, consumption, and asset allocation. Appropriate economic activities sometimes will not only not harm the emotional relationship within the family, but will also promote the care of family members.
For example, if children give part of the living expenses of the elderly who help them take care of their children every month, the elderly will actually be happier; husbands give their salary card to their wife who is full-time at home, which will make her feel more secure; remarried elderly people give each other some money to guarantee each other's relationships stronger...
In a sense, economic activities can ensure the sharing of resources and cooperation among family members, thereby improving collective well-being.
01 The old man with assets worth tens of millions has a headache because of property distribution
Incident Review: The old man wearing a hat and haggard face in the picture is named Li Zhongyuan (pseudonym). Although he dresses simply, Mr. Li was one of the top bosses in the local area when he was young. Uncle Li, who was very business-minded, opened a hot cotton floss factory. After making money, he built two residential buildings in the city center. Later, the two buildings were given a lot of money due to demolition, and then he used the money he earned to invest in many real estate and shops in the downtown area.
Originally, Mr. Li, who was originally priced at tens of millions, could enjoy a happy old age, but at the age of 84, he felt exhausted due to the issue of real estate division.
76 years old, Uncle Li's wife passed away. The next year he found a young wife, Gama (pseudonym), who was 32 years younger than him. After marrying Gama, Uncle Li was soon infected by her vitality and became much more energetic. Although Uncle Li has four children, the children have their own families and rarely care about him. Gama not only takes care of his food and clothing, but also travels around with him, which touched Uncle Li very much.
Thinking that he was much older than his wife, he would definitely not be able to accompany her to the end. In order to give Gama more living security, Uncle Li planned to transfer the four stores worth 7 million yuan in his name to his wife, but as soon as this decision was proposed, it was fiercely opposed by his children.
In order to show his sincerity, Mr. Li took Gama directly to the law firm and planned to rewrite his will. However, during negotiations, Gama suddenly proposed that not only should the storefront be transferred to her name, but the rent must also be collected by her and Mr. Li. However, the lawyer said that because the property had been divided before, if the will was to be changed, it must be signed by four children at the same time to be valid. After listening to the lawyer's words, Gama became very excited. She felt that the lawyer was just fooling herself.
After returning home, the always loving couple had a fierce conflict over the will. In Gama's opinion, the house has no effect in his name, and only by returning the rent can the problem be truly solved. But when it comes to rent, Mr. Li suddenly became popular, and he made Gama die of this heart.Why did Mr. Li even plan to give Gama a house, but he was unwilling to fight for the rent for her?
Regarding his real estate, Mr. Li said with anger that after he remarried, his children secretly took away all the property rights certificates on his back, and even did not charge him the rent for the house. He quarreled with his children a lot about this, but every time he was besieged by several children, and even insulted him in various ways.
02 Each step back can make the family more harmonious. Since the children have to sign the will, Mr. Li had to bite the bullet and make them all together, but as soon as he met, the family became a quarrel, and soon the children pointed the finger directly at Gama. In their opinion, the reason why the father suddenly wanted to rewrite the will was definitely the instigation of this woman.
Although Mr. Li said that these four shops were all built by himself, his children said that the shops also had the hard work of their mothers and could not let him do whatever he wanted. Mr. Li's daughter said that before his mother passed away, his father signed an agreement with them, and the four shops were owned by four children. Now that the father wants to divide the property rights and give it back to his wife, he is simply bewitched. This woman has been married for her father's property from the beginning.
talks about his wife, Gama, and Mr. Li said that she was not what the children said. Although Gama had a bad temper and didn't speak nicely, she was kind-hearted. Every time he was sick, Gama would stay by his side to take care of her. The children never showed up. Even Gama's daughter was better to him than his four children. It was precisely because he saw her sincerity for him that he was willing to share the house with her.
And Gama also said that she had no father or mother since she was a child, and she went out to work at the age of 17. After divorced her ex-husband at the age of 21, she has been dragging her daughter alone. Later, she finally met a man like Mr. Li, who is good to her, and she is very content. Although there are always people around her that she has ulterior motives, she only wants to take good care of this man.
But in the eyes of Mr. Li's children, before his father proposed to rewrite his will, the annual rent of more than 300,000 yuan was collected by his father. Although the shops were distributed to his children, in the past eight years, although he knew that his father had already bought a house and a car for that woman, they still didn't ask for the rent of more than 2 million yuan. The reason they did this was to allow his father to have a happy old age, but what they didn't expect was that his stepmother was so greedy, so they took back the right to collect the rent.
Uncle Li's son even said that before his mother passed away, his father had ambiguous relationship with other women outside, and this Gama was also got together at that time. In the eyes of the children of the Li family, this woman was simply a ill-thinking plan, so they could not give her all the shops.
Finally, in order to resolve the family dispute, Uncle Li found the local neighborhood committee to help, but as soon as he met, the family quarreled again. Uncle Li angrily scolded his son for not scolding him. He clearly stated that his children were not good to him, and Gama took good care of him, so he must redistribute his property. Finally, under the insistence of Uncle Li, he still took back one of the four shops and said that the shop would be inherited by his wife Gama a hundred years later. After discussing the distribution of inheritance, Gama insisted on suggesting that considering that Mr. Li is old and requires money for medical treatment and living, she hopes that the rent of the shop can still be collected by Mr. Li. In order to allow the father to enjoy his old age, the children finally agreed to the proposal, and the dispute over the inheritance ended.
Regarding the distribution of household property, Mr. Li's youngest daughter-in-law said that there is actually no need for the elderly care issue that Gama has always been worried about. As long as she treats her father-in-law sincerely, they will not ignore her in the future. After all, people's hearts are full of flesh.
03 Emotional Analysis
As the saying goes, talking about money hurts feelings. Once family and love are too involved with money, it will lose its original meaning.
The right to pursue love is not eliminated due to age. Love among the elderly is also very romantic, but if the elderly want to remarry, they often face opposition from their children. The biggest concern for children is the elderly’s pension and property distribution. Especially the age difference between Mr. Li and his wife, and Mr. Li’s family is well-off, most people think that Gama has a plan.
But two people live, they know that it is precisely because of the absence of their children that Gama's company is more precious, so he makes the decision to redistribute property. For Mr. Li's children, they don't want the annual rent of more than 300,000 yuan, which is because of their care for their father, but they forgot that no matter how successful his father is, he is already 84 years old. What the old man wants is not money but company.
Parents are alive, give them more care and companionship. Don’t wait until the children want to raise but their parents are not waiting before they wake up. Instead of worrying that their parents’ money will be cheated, it is better to give them more company, warm their parents with sincerity and give them a sense of security.
Topic Discussion today: How do you view Mr. Li’s decision to insist on giving the property to his wife if he remarries his children’s objections?
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