If you find out that he is betrayed and do not want to forgive him, but just want him to pay the price he deserves and then break it down with one knife, then you can skip this article.
But if you can't let him go and want him to break off contact with that woman, rebuild your relationship, and even control your relationship in the future, you must read the following analysis carefully.
1) Don't compare with her.
When you are betrayed, it is hard not to control yourself and compare with her: Why is she better than me? Where is she better than me? Why did he fall in love with such a person? These problems will increasingly affect your emotions, often in a state of irritability and stress, or may cause you to begin to doubt yourself and lose your sense of value.
And when you show off with him, let him choose one of you and her. He makes the choice not because of who is better, but because who doesn't force him. Therefore, the more anxious you are to pull him back, the more you will make him retreat and avoid it, and even divorce you resolutely and throw all your property to that woman.
2) Retreat to advance.
Don’t tell this too much about people, especially the parents of both parties. Once it rises to the parent level, it will be difficult to end. When you are betrayed, your moral capital is very high. You are the victim of the relationship, and your parents-in-law will stand on your side, scold him severely, and help you ask him to break off contact with her.
But when everyone is facing you, he will find that he has always been the party who compensates and pays. No matter what he does, it feels like he has hurt you, so he naturally needs to compensate. Over time, his sense of giving will rank high, dispelling his guilt and feeling that he has completed his atonement and you are still not willing to let go. Instead, he will form a unified position with her, always drawing from her understanding and warm feelings, which is even more difficult to break.
3) Attack from the psychological breakthrough point.
Betrayal, from the back, is actually an opportunity to reflect the marriage. Why did he choose to betray this time? What is the reason that causes the transfer of his emotional needs? Why did he choose to file for divorce with you at this time, or he would not agree to divorce even though he was clearly betrayed?
You need to find the points and difficulties in marriage.
stick point is what obstacles have occurred in your marriage, and which part makes you feel that you can't push it in. For example, if you think he betrayed you, you don’t want to say a word to him, but you want him to return to marriage, so you get stuck, or if you communicate with him, the attitude he gave back to you is not positive enough and stuck.
The difficulty is what parts you feel that make you feel very difficult or even desperate. For example, he is inseparable from her now, how should he separate? He said you are too strong and don’t give him space, but if you don’t believe it, you will change it. How can you rebuild your trust?
Finally, after the return, you must modify the business goals in time. We cannot just regard repairing relationships as the ultimate goal. Repairing relationships is ultimately to make relationships more stable like before, or even more stable than before, and use them to explore the growth through lessons and experiences to guide marriage life. If you are still in a state of recovery and the two of you have a high or low position, this relationship will not last long.
Repairing a relationship is a relatively long process. You need to think about how much you are willing to devote to this relationship and how long you are willing to invest. These also determine how professional marriage counselors can provide you with more adaptable plans to the current state.
If you are facing the betrayal of your partner, you really want to repair your marriage, and you are willing to make changes and make contributions in this relationship, and you have certain psychological expectations about the difficulty of repairing your relationship; or you have not yet thought about whether to repair it, but you have suffered huge trauma in your heart and want to heal yourself, you can tell me your situation in detail and I will help you with a professional analysis.
