Text/HuaShe
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Some time ago, a middle-aged friend encountered a difficult problem in his life.
Her mother had an accident in driving and was unfortunately hospitalized.
And she has some projects on hand, the child is the most critical moment in high school, her husband is even far away from home, and her friends are also busy with their own affairs.
During that time, she was anxious and always looked around and prayed that someone could help her, but the person who could help her did not show up.
After she corrected her attitude, she ran back and forth every day, mostly busy with projects, and went to take care of her mother when she had time. Fortunately, the child has grown up and can take care of herself.
After nearly a month of survival, she finally survived this difficult time in her life and suddenly realized that the greatest reliance for a person in this life may be himself.
Writer Sanmao once said: "What is the heart like? It's like a thousand feet of mist, and it's a thousand miles away. There is no boat that can be crossed. People, except for rushing themselves, no one can help others."
Some things can only be carried by themselves; some hardship can only be eaten by themselves; some road can only be walked by themselves.
We have all expected someone to help us, and we have expected that parents will be our lifelong support, friends will be our lifelong support, and lovers will be our unchanging belief.
But when people get old and have some experience, they will understand that the greatest reliance of a person in this life is actually just two words.
That is - "self".
Everything depends on oneself, it is the beginning of a virtuous cycle
I once watched a video of a child who had just learned to walk, and when he was walking slowly with a wall, he suddenly fell down because his center of gravity was unstable. After falling down, he immediately sat on the ground and started crying. Until his parents came to his side, helped him up, comforted him, and then stopped crying.
Children who have just learned to walk can still understand this way.
But not long after, another video was found. After a child who was three or four years old fell down, he still sat on the ground crying while waiting for his family to help him.
Can't he stand up by himself?
is actually not, but it is accustomed to being helped up when you fall, accustomed to being comforted by others, and accustomed to relying on others in everything, so that you lose the ability to take care of yourself.
Children will develop wrong habits in dependence, but isn’t the same for adults?
The reason why many people are always unable to get out of the predicament is actually because they are used to relying on others. In this way, when encountering difficulties, they will only look around and not think about how to solve problems, and they will always be troubled by them.
From the perspective of behavioral psychology , people only have two reactions when encountering difficulties - "One is who can help me through this difficulties, and the other is how can I survive it."
People who always want to rely on others will not be sure whether they can get help from noble people, but it is certain that once they develop this habit, they will lose their ability to be independent.
Instead, it is the person who wants to solve the problem. He relies on himself everywhere and constantly optimizes himself in order to overcome life problems repeatedly.
people will never be able to go smoothly in their lives, but when a person is not trapped in danger, he will sooner or later get out of the crisis-ridden dilemma.
Rely on oneself, it is the ultimate sense of security
Some time ago, I read such a story.
A rich businessman was hiding from the rain under the eaves and saw a monk walking by with an umbrella. He respectfully said, "My mom, how about taking me for a while?"
The monk replied, "I'm in the rain, you're under the eaves, there's no rain under the eaves, why should I save it?"
Rich businessman immediately He jumped out of the eaves and continued to ask: "Now I'm in the rain, can you save me?" The monk
smiled and said: "You are in the rain, and I am in the rain, and I am also in the rain; I am not being wet because there is an umbrella; you are being wet because there is no umbrella. So it is not me who saves myself, but umbrella. If you want to be wet, don't look for me, please find an umbrella yourself." The monk's words immediately woke up the rich businessman.
During that time, he happened to encounter some difficulties. When he was looking for help everywhere, he never thought that the person who could help him best was not others, but himself.
"Cai Xin Family Instructions" says: "Thank you for someone is like swallowing a three-foot sword, and relying on someone is like going to the ninth level of heaven."
It's not that easy to rely on others.
Parents will grow old, backers will fall, friends will be surprised, nobles will stop. If you want to rely on others, you have to consider whether others can help you, whether you can be reliable, and whether you are willing to let yourself rely on it.
But when you want to rely on yourself, as long as you have the ability, you can gradually achieve yourself. This is a person's ultimate sense of security and the most correct way to salvation.
I have found a post.
post is talking about how friends are unreliable and how unhappy their original family is. In the end, the reason for their failure is attributed to friends, parents, times, and luck.
I remember the high praise comment at that time and said this sentence: "People who are always begging for help are most likely to lose when disaster comes."
Some people have nothing when they were born and eventually achieve themselves; some people have fallen into the trough of their lives and finally get up slowly.
What will happen to a person be? It is never destined at the beginning, but is slowly accomplished by himself. Only those who understand this truth will easily get out of the predicament.
In other words, let yourself understand that the greatest reliance is the only way to find your own only outlet in this life that is most likely to be unhappy.
Just as Lu Yao once said: "Living on your own, the soul is peaceful."
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